Woman's car attacked by self-identified 'high elf' battling evil

KATU News ^ | 5/16/2014 | Colin Miner

[Notforprophet]

The last thing the woman from Northeast Portland probably expected when she got up Tuesday morning was that she would be attacked by a sword-wielding elf.

But that's what happened around 7 a.m. as she drove her red BMW by the intersection of Southeast 7th and Morrison.

A man dressed in chain-mail with a helmet, shield and carrying a sword and staff ran into traffic and started attacking her car.

[RansomOttawa]

My question is where did this elf hail from? Lord of the Rings, World of Warcraft, Dungeons and Dragons? We will need to see pics of the elf’s weapons and armor to be sure.

It was all a big misunderstanding. Turns out he was a Keebler elf, and the "sword" was just a fudge knife.

[The Cajun]

Woman's car attacked by self-identified 'high elf' battling evil

Damn! A person just has to click on a thread with that title :)

[jjsheridan5]

Something is bothering me about this story. I could have sworn that high elves never wore chain mail. As a result, I can only conclude that drugs were involved.

[Free Vulcan]

And in states like California, they should be able to use whatever bathroom and/or locker room or shower facility they choose.

[Army Air Corps]

Another consumer of your Java?

[BenLurkin]

Morgoth is the character from which all evil grew.

Carl Marx in other words.

[Army Air Corps]

Ping.

[MrB]

I’d like to be there when the insurance adjuster shows up.

[Talisker]

[Last Dakotan]

This just in....Morgath has been sighted masquerading as a woman and driving a car...

Don't get me started on the evil of women driving cars...

[CrazyIvan]

Would an elf attack a Gremlin or a Midget?

[mj1234]

One car to bind them?

Would that be a a Tesla?

lol

[MrEdd]

So storied Two-door came to nothing
Out of king was beat the stuffing
Two-door lives in fear of Four-door
‘Til Krona’s back in working order

~ semi obscure two-door reference.

[gundog]

It’s Portland. There’s probably a box to check for “Attacked by elf.”

[MrB]

Fifth one this week - go figure.

[Sherman Logan]

I could have sworn that high elves never wore chain mail.

The history of Elven arms and armor.

Or, since this is apparently a Brit site, armour.

http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Elven_Weapons_and_Armour

[jjsheridan5]

I stand corrected. Next time I see a sword-wielding gentleman in chain mail, I will not be so quick to dismiss the notion that he is a high elf. This nugget of information may save my life, or, at least, spare me from an awkward moment.

[familyop]

Behind the link, you’ll find that he was only another queer, midget, Lord of the Rings fan.

[Notforprophet]

Soon to be added as a Facebook gender choice, since he “self identified”.

[Tax-chick]

Heh, I got it.