[nickcarraway]

"What's a matter with the keys I'm playing, Don't you know that their out of style"

[NEMDF]

Let me be the first to step up and say that I have NEVER killed any elephants or rhinos for ANY reason, and I have no intention of ever doing so. That should give him some comfort.

[cripplecreek]

Piano keys haven’t been made out of Ivory for many years and Rhino aren’t ivory.

[AEMILIUS PAULUS]

Can they use his teeth as substitutes for elephant ivory?

[rdcbn]

While we are at it, lets get Paul McCartney’s position on Ebony and Ivory.

Michael Jackson is unavailable to comment

[MrB]

Agreed, the pianos can kill the elephants and rinos for themselves.

[Opinionated Blowhard]

In support of a New York bill that aims to ban illegal ivory trade,

If its illegal already, why are they banning it? Is this just some "feel good, look at me, I'm doing something" bill, or am I missing something here?

[Telepathic Intruder]

I admit I haven’t been putting enough effort into going out and shooting poachers.

[Cowboy Bob]

Last time I saw Billy Joel, he was a fat drunk. Has anything changed?

[4yearlurker]

Most of the old ivory keyboards were made from Hippo teeth.

[albie]

He’s already made his money. He already has an assortment of pianos. Typical liberal.

[World'sGoneInsane]

No more “tickling the ivories. for you!” But, I bet he has a piano that was made before 1930.

[all the best]

Does he really say “rhinos”? I won’t give Time a click. Rhino horns are not ivory and piano keys have never been made of them. Is the piano man that much of an idiot?

[World'sGoneInsane]

http://anamazingmachine.wordpress.com/piano-resources/

[RIghtwardHo]

Agreed. There is no need to do it. None.

[PGR88]

And I realize that ivory piano keys are preferred by some pianists.

does Bill Joel have pianist envy?

[Bubba_Leroy]

But you can’t use plastic either, because plastic is made from evil petroleum, which Algore says is causing Global Warming.

[Kenny Bunk]

Dear Billy,

Thank you for joining 1910's greatest environmental initiative.

However belated, your thoughtful recommendations have been forwarded to King Edward VII in Heaven and the House of Lords for immediate action. One wonders what tragic retro-cause concerning the abuse of animals you will next select. May I suggest you now turn to the cruel plight of pit ponies in Welsh mines?

On behalf of a grateful empire H.M. has asked me to tell you to Foxtrot Oscar, you stupid twit.

Ecologically yours,
Bertie Wooster

[Fiji Hill]

Sirius satellite radio recently made its Channel 4 an all-Billy Joel channel. I wish they would go back to “40’s on 4,” which played music of the 1940’s.

[Hot Tabasco]

In support of a New York bill that aims to ban illegal ivory trade

The trading of ivory is already illegal..........does this mean he wants to ban its illegality?

[DickBrannigan]

I always hated this guy. Now he proves he’s a misguided fool as well.