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PANIC REIGNS AS MAJOR SNOWSTORM THREATENS TO BURY NYC !!! [vanity/satire]
The New York Whines | January 18 2019

Posted on 01/18/2019 8:06:59 AM PST by Mr_Moonlight

January 18 2019 - The New York Whines -

A huge snowstorm is threatening to overtake New York City this morning, as over 1/32nd of an inch of the dreaded semi-frozen crystals have accumulated thus far in Central Park and on the streets between Lexington and Fifth Avenues.

Buses and Subways are running at half speed as ordered by Mayor Bill de Blasshole after he was awoken from his mid-morning snooze and informed of the developing calamity facing the city.

Said the Mayor before resuming his nap, "I have fully capable people in positions to deal with these types of trivial matters, so don't bother me no more about it", then stormed off in a huff.

A top aide to the Mayor concurred, "Hizzoner has a very important communist revolution to lead, do you think he needs to hear this shit from you irritating reporters?".

When asked by our Whines reporter, the aide declined to provide his name, but added, "If you alt-right so called 'journalists' at the Whines had only let us tax you at 100% six years ago then we wouldn't even be having this conversation".

City authorities have advised residents to secure their supplies of bread and milk, as this may be a long haul until at least midday this afternoon, but warned not to venture outside, as the sidewalks may be slippery when wet. Additionally, authorities have assured that used syringe deposit boxes will remain open and in full operation at all city parks within the five boroughs.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: satire
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1 posted on 01/18/2019 8:06:59 AM PST by Mr_Moonlight
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To: Mr_Moonlight
MAJOR SNOWSTORM THREATENS TO BURY NYC

I wish.

2 posted on 01/18/2019 8:08:14 AM PST by from occupied ga (Your government is your most dangerous enemy)
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To: Mr_Moonlight

NYC must get relief from Global Warming now before it gets buried


3 posted on 01/18/2019 8:08:41 AM PST by butlerweave
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To: Mr_Moonlight
Untitled
4 posted on 01/18/2019 8:13:11 AM PST by SkyDancer ( ~ Just Consider Me A Random Fact Generator ~ Eat Sleep Fly Repeat ~)
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To: Mr_Moonlight

A quarter of an inch of snow, when I lived in Atlanta, was enough to shut down the schools. And if you could see how pitifully Atlantans drive on slick streets, you’ll understand how a dusting can paralyze the city.


5 posted on 01/18/2019 8:14:09 AM PST by sparklite2 (Don't mind me. I'm just a contrarian.)
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To: Mr_Moonlight

Hey, if de Blasio were your mayor, a dusting of snow could cause real problems for you, too!


6 posted on 01/18/2019 8:19:56 AM PST by 9YearLurker
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To: Mr_Moonlight
I'm in Rochester NY and we're supposed to get anywhere from 6" to 24" of snow from the same storm.
Our reaction ....
7 posted on 01/18/2019 8:21:27 AM PST by oh8eleven (RVN '67-'68)
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To: 9YearLurker

The REAL problem is the snow is WHITE!


8 posted on 01/18/2019 8:21:37 AM PST by oldasrocks
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To: 9YearLurker

I an constantly amazed at the hysteria over snow-—in JANUARY !!!!!

If this was June,I’d get it,but January?

.


9 posted on 01/18/2019 8:23:10 AM PST by Mears
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To: sparklite2
A quarter of an inch of snow, when I lived in Atlanta, was enough to shut down the schools. And if you could see how pitifully Atlantans drive on slick streets, you’ll understand how a dusting can paralyze the city.

Raised in Connecticut, but when licing in Columbus, Georgia, I decided to go along with it. "You are right about the conditions, I guess I better work from home today."

Now we are in Phoenix, where it is really a non-issue, and my present jobs has me working at home anyway.
10 posted on 01/18/2019 8:27:08 AM PST by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics.)
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To: sparklite2
I once had my travel plans in western Canada disrupted by an 18-inch snowstorm.

In AUGUST.

There's nothing like mountain weather to let you know who is in charge.

11 posted on 01/18/2019 8:30:51 AM PST by Alberta's Child ("In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey.")
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To: sparklite2
And if you could see how pitifully Atlantans drive on slick streets, you’ll understand how a dusting can paralyze the city.

I've spent lots of time in Ohio, Chicago, Maine and Connecticut, and these folks are equally bad at driving on snow and ice as non-Yankees. The difference is, the amount of available road treatment materials and vehicles. In general Yanks are as bad at driving as they are voting.
12 posted on 01/18/2019 8:31:23 AM PST by TexasGunLover
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To: oh8eleven
Yep, here in Syracuse we're hearing the same thing. And having the same reaction.

That said, I was at the gym yesterday with a guy who had just moved here from San Antonio, TX. He was pretty agitated.

13 posted on 01/18/2019 8:32:49 AM PST by jalisco555 ("In a Time of Universal Deceit Telling the Truth Is a Revolutionary Act" - George Orwell)
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To: Mears
I an constantly amazed at the hysteria over snow-—in JANUARY !!!!! If this was June,I’d get it,but January?

Well, ya know ... Global Warm, ummm, Global Chang, uhhhh, Climate Chan ... ummm, Cultural Appropri ... uhhhh, hang on, wait a minute, I'm getting confused here ....

14 posted on 01/18/2019 8:33:03 AM PST by Mr_Moonlight (Ich bin ein Irredeemable Deplorable)
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To: Dr. Sivana

I lived there for a while on Indian School Road, or some such. When I took a load of laundry to the laundromat, I was pleased to note that drying was free. Then I noticed the washing cost a whole lot. It occurred to me that it is so day in Phoenix, people took wet laundry home to hang on the line. So the laundromat people got their money up front and made drying free. Clever.


15 posted on 01/18/2019 8:33:38 AM PST by sparklite2 (Don't mind me. I'm just a contrarian.)
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To: Mr_Moonlight

I checked my Intellicast link today and it redirects me to WUnderground, I guess they merged?


16 posted on 01/18/2019 8:35:38 AM PST by jaydubya2
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To: Mr_Moonlight

:-)

.


17 posted on 01/18/2019 8:35:51 AM PST by Mears
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To: Alberta's Child

I hear that. Bet you didn’t have snow tires on, either.
Another thing we had to do was put anti-freeze in the windshield washer water tank, as the water would often freeze up.


18 posted on 01/18/2019 8:37:21 AM PST by sparklite2 (Don't mind me. I'm just a contrarian.)
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To: from occupied ga

19 posted on 01/18/2019 8:38:12 AM PST by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: sparklite2

I had a 4x4. But that doesn’t help when the only road over the mountain pass is closed!


20 posted on 01/18/2019 8:41:03 AM PST by Alberta's Child ("In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey.")
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