Skip to comments.SATIRE Supreme Court OKs Death Penalty For Commenting On Articles Without Reading Them
Posted on 12/30/2019 1:31:40 PM PST by Jotmo
WASHINGTON, D.C.In a landmark decision, the U.S. Supreme Court bench handed down a ruling Thursday approving the death penalty for people who comment on articles without reading them.
In the highly publicized case, State of Texas v. Wilbur, state authorities had found internet user Edward Wilbur guilty of posting a comment on a story linked on his Facebook page, a news story Wilbur had clearly never read.
While most of those convicted under Texas recent state law banning commenting on news stories or opinion pieces without reading them get off with a few months of community service or a stiff fine, the severe stupidity of Wilburs comment reportedly landed him a shocking sentence of execution by lethal injection.
Mr. Wilbur commented on a news story about a minor update to Texas public schools science curriculum, prosecuting attorney Hank Cassidy told reporters outside the Supreme Court building just after the controversial ruling was announced. But it was immediately apparent he hadnt even read the article, and barely even glanced at the headline. He left a long, rambling comment attacking Obamacare, liberals, evolution in the school system, and chem trails, among other topics.
According to Cassidy, this led to state officials taking Wilbur in for questioning before booking him on the capital charge of commenting without reading, kicking off a long appeals process, which finally concluded with the Supreme Courts hearing of the case in todays historic decision.
This will be good for America, the prosecuting attorney said. Finally, justice has been done.
You have been warned!!!
Uh oh. Well, Free Republic, it’s been fun.
I fear we’re going to loose many members in the near future.
Finally - a court decision I can support!
Dang. That is hilarious work by BB.
Babylon Bee MUST read FR.
Don’t you get it, Obamacare was a failure thanks to those stoopid liberals who pushed it based on their years of indoctrination in the failed public school system!
Everyone knows you have to comment on an article before you can know what’s in it.
Sorta like Obamacare.
WE ARE DOOMED!.....................
Bwwwaaa-Haaa-HA! We’re doomed! ;)
So... All of us who will soon likely be found guilty and who will no longer be around to post any more - just remember to send in your quarterly donations first thing Wednesday morning.
Do you have a gluten free version of this article? Perhaps I should read it and see?
i have always supported the death penalty... especially for repeat offenders ... is that a knock on my door?
I thought, “I wonder what their FReeper handle is?”, when I read it.
It’s a fair cop.
Yes, this is quiet series!
Why the hell did we elect President Trump if the Supreme Court is going to come up with decisions like this? RBG can’t die fast enough! I’m IRATE about this!
When will the moderator remove this article.
It is too dangerous to civil order.
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