Posted on 02/03/2020 9:33:56 AM PST by BipolarBob
HOUSTON, TX—Taking his luxury golf cart from the front door of his Houston mansion down to his mailbox to fetch the paper Friday morning, prosperity preacher Joel Osteen reportedly looked down to see his own shadow, a traditional sign indicating that he will be preaching the Bible out of context for yet another year.
“Well, would you look at that. There it is, right there,” Osteen reportedly said as he smiled and pointed down to his shadow on his driveway.
Local news teams excitedly gathered around his mansion to witness the annual tradition, wherein the megachurch pastor is said to predict a whole year of grossly twisting and misinterpreting Bible passages by seeing his own shadow projected onto the ground.
According to tradition, should Osteen ever not see his own shadow, he will declare an early end to taking the Bible out of context, but as of publishing time, Osteen has seen his shadow every year of his ministry.
He has the teeth of a mule. Typical of a jackass heretic.
Beautiful!!!!!
Why do you think BBee published this, without any background? I mean, there is more story there, right? I was left wondering why the drive-by drop on a guy, absent entirely of any foundation. Not everyone knows about Osteen and read like a hit and run.
I don’t like drive-by reporting, on either side of the aisle, that can’t seem to stand up its own rational, when posting a stand alone slander against me or anyone else Who do they think we are?
College kids running Babylon, I guess?
That guy looks like he could sell a used car to a used car salesman.
He’s been a frequent target of theirs since the start of Babylon Bee.
People who don’t know who Osteen is probably aren’t ever going to read the Babylon Bee.
And you know what?
There is nothing whatsoever wrong ethically, morally, spiritually nor intellectually wrong with writing specifically for a target audience.
Dont use a satire site to get laughs at people you dont like if you cant laugh at people you do.
Joel is a likable guy. I know some of his background. I know some people really like him but theologically he is lacking. The reason for his popularity is he is a good motivational speaker. If you are down and depressed, he’s a good go to guy and I would recommend him for that. But for someone seriously seeking salvation, I could NOT recommend him. I’m sure he is a nice guy.
Let me just say that anyone who really knows anything about mega-churches and televangelists know who and what Osteen is and is all about.
2nd. It’s a satire site. Lighten up Francis!
I’ve never heard the pastor at my Evangelical congregation criticize Osteen by name, but he has preached quite forcefully against the prosperity gospel in general.
And I must say he’s very convincing. Jesus never promised his disciples it was going to be easy.
I’m in an odd place right now. I split alternate Sundays with an Evangelical congregation and an LCMS church. Theologically, I am confessional Lutheran all the way, but the pastor I mentioned really has the gift. I disagree with some of his views on baptism and end times but there’s no denying his sincerity or the power of his sermons.
How I love The Bee
Oh puhleeeze. Are you that far out?
All I can say is to study the Bible diligently. It’s Gods love letter to us.
Nailed it!
LOL! My mistake. Figured you for a conservative.
Are you totally opposed to the term, “Prove the charge. Prove your case”? Background was missing in this piece.
Maybe you believe nothing is necessary, anymore, but only “the seriousness of the Charge”. Democrats make a living off that lie.
(Shirley, you do not really excuse that crap as being okay? Maybe ya’ do, given your indication in that condescending and gaseous reply.)
After the news about Rush, this made me smile.
Unaware that BBee was a satire site. How cute. I like satire, and had not ever read BBee. I now get that the site is not confined by any journalistic standards, as a straight news source, which explains the jolt to seeing none. Thanks for the explanation.
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