Posted on 04/15/2020 8:22:17 PM PDT by rlmorel
COVID-19 Comedy: Too Soon or Not Soon Enough to Laugh in a Pandemic? (Bill Whittle)
I thought everyone could use a good chuckle about this situation. My wife was wondering what I was snickering at as I watched it...
Please enjoy!
Thanks for posting. Whittle was the main speaker at the Republican Lincoln Dinner in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho in February. He was FANTASTIC. Really enjoyed his very optimistic outlook on the prospects for the US.
It is not too soon to laugh!
“I’m the loudest one laughing at the saddest wake...”
Pain/Alice Cooper
From an anonymous UPS delivery driver...
5 types of customers since the rona:
1) Steve: He has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been drinking boilermakers since 10:00 am in his recliner and his AR is within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Steve demands a handshake as I give him his package. Hes sizing me up as I deliver his ammo.
Steve will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to.
2) Brad: He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new Bernie Bro hat at the tape.
Brad will not survive. Steve will probably eat him.
3) Nancy: She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her kids and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about The Rona on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper.
She will last longer than Brad, but not Steve.
4) Karen: She has called everybody and read them the latest news on The Rona. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonalds, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karens kids are currently faking The Rona to avoid her. Im delivering Hello kitchen to her.
Karen will not survive longer than Brad.
5) Mary: Is sitting in the swing watching her kids have a water balloon fight in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Post Malone playing in the background. Im bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days.
Mary will survive and marry Steve. Together they will repopulate the earth. May God have mercy on us all.
You can actually do that in New Orleans, where sometimes a wake is more of a celebration of the person than a mourning.
Of course, at the saddest wake, only Alice could get away with this.
*EFFECTIVE APRIL 1, 2020*
Amateur Radio operators are ordered to strictly observe the Coronavirus mitigation guidelines as they apply to amateur radio operating.
All ham radio operators are encouraged to stay at least 6 feet from the microphone in order to maintain proper separation from others. The distance may be reduced if a mask is put on the microphone.
CW operators should wear appropriate gloves when handling keys. Speakers should be securely covered with .01 micron particulate HEPA filters.
There should be no more than 10 stations on the same frequency at the same time.
Disinfect your knobs, switches, etc before operating ... especially touch screens and PTT. Shoe covers should be worn when using foot switches. Use of hands-free VOX is strongly encouraged although from 6 feet away, it may be necessary to shout.
Disinfect all antenna cables coming into the station.
Only mobile stations and walkie-talkie contacts are permitted where sit-down service has been banned. The 6 ft microphone separation guideline is suspended for these types of operation, but a mask on the microphone is strongly recommended.
Mobile operators are encouraged to remain in their vehicles except to get necessities.
Operators should leave their operating positions only for necessities.
Outdoor antenna work is allowed as long as there is social distancing among all who are present.
Hoarding of batteries, spare tubes, coax, etc. is discouraged and is unfair to others. We are in this together.
New equipment and parts should be ordered online for front porch delivery.
Do not test (tune) your equipment unnecessarily. That is wasteful and inconsiderate. Testing should be reserved for those who actually need it.
Your understanding and cooperation in this matter is mandatory while particularly observing the Effective Date.
Too soon to laugh? Two words for ya: “Corona” and “Zombies”. Yep, it’s an actual movie from the fine folks at Full Moon. (Warning: gore at link and I don’t mean Al) They talked about it here:https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/apr/13/corona-zombies-film-full-moon-features
It even starts with a “Chinese bat soup factory”. lol
Funny.
This reply was good, too....
Randy Jones
2 days ago
I started home schooling the kids. It was a full three days before my eight year old said “I hope I don’t have the same teacher next year” and I was fired for drinking on the job.
THAT....is hilarious.
Bill whittle!
Well, I guess if you think it’s OK to yuck it up while people are losing their jobs, their life’s savings and even their lives.
Yes, thanks for posting. I have read Stephen Greene’s work and always wondered what he was like “in person.”
Per the point made in the video, gallows humor has always existed and has helped many a person through trying times.
You’re right, I’ve never heard that, and it’s excellent!
“I’m the lump on your head when you step on the rake.”
I entered that lyric in google so that I could read all the lyrics, and even google hadn’t heard of it. Had to also enter Alice Cooper to get to them.
Very good selection, thank you, Sal!
Since y'all are missing the casino, just cash app me $20 and guess a number. If you get it right you win your money back. If not, try again.
If things get real bad and we have to resort to cannibalism, remember: vegans are the closest thing to grass fed.
Tell your children after you sit down for dinner, "Due to the economy, we'll have to let one of you go."
Apologies to grim humorless FReeyores...
I think it is a losing proposition to live each day of it with the grimness. If you need to do that, I understand that is what you need to do.
I don’t operate that way, and judging from the responses, most people don’t.
Has it happened yet?
Man wearing a mask drives away from the neighborhood In And Out Burger take out with his purchase. He sits at the intersection stop light. He is overwhelmed by the delicious aroma of that burger. If you have ever eaten at In & Out, you know that unique aroma of fresh vegetables toasted buns and grilled meat.
He grabs it and shoves it toward his waiting open mouth, only to be blocked by that damn safety mask! Sandwich falls apart and lies mostly on his shirt, on his lap and maybe the gas pedal too. At that moment, the light goes from red to green.
Two seconds later, someone behind is already tooting their horn telling him to move!
It is true.
Each year nearly 40,000 people lose their lives in auto accidents in this country, and 850,000 die of heart disease. While each one is a tragedy, I think it is a mistake to bear the burden of each of them. That is no way to live life.
As long as Brad doesn’t marry her there may be hope for us.
I guess Brad and Nancy belong together, but I don’t want them to be the last two...
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