Posted on 07/02/2020 2:08:43 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin
BRADFORD, NH—Following the arrest of Ghislaine Maxwell for sex abuse charges, the FBI is taking no chances in keeping her safe while she awaits trial. Sparing no expense, the FBI has hired top-notch Italian bodyguard Hiluigi Clintonelli.
“It's-a me, Clintonelli!” said the world-renowned bodyguard arriving at the prison.
Thanks to the particularly glowing reviews from high-profile individuals such as President Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew, all federal prison security checks were waived for Hiluigi. “There’s simply no one else that we trust to execute this job as she can.”
“Mamma mia, this simply will not do!” exclaimed Hiluigi Clintonelli as she forcefully cleared the room. She warned that anyone other than her could be a threat to Ghislaine’s life.
Clintonelli also connected all camera feeds to her personal server to ensure that all recorded video was properly secured.
Before we authorize payments, we look at the source of the article............Sheesh!
You have to wonder what the over/under bet is on days til her suicide.
LMAO! Thanks for posting ;o)~
A spokesperson for Hillary Clinton said that the former secretary of state was shocked and saddened to hear of Giselle Maxwell’s impending suicide.
Took me a few paragraphs. Nicely done!
Thank you so much for not putting the /sarc tag on this one!!
Clintonelli has done this sort of high-visibility bodyguarding before: Lee Harvey Oswald, Whitey Bulger, and most lately Qasem Soleimani. Perfect record. So to speak.
I wonder if Clintonelli was able to walk into the prison upright without someone holding her up.
That is too funny!
Before we post a smack down, we look at post #14. Sheesh!
DAMN! Babylon Bee. Got me again.
Apparently it's becoming a habit...........LOL!
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