Hero Addresses Most Important Problem Facing the World Today

Gizmodo ^ | 9/2/2020 | Matt Novak

[Dacula]

There are a lot of problems in the country right now, from police shootings of unarmed civilians to a pandemic that has killed over 184,000 Americans. But one man in Lincoln, Nebraska, recently addressed a city council meeting to draw attention to the most important problem facing the world today: boneless chicken wings.

Ander Christensen, a citizen—nay, a hero—of Lincoln, stood up on Monday to draw attention to the absurdity of boneless chicken wings. Children are being indoctrinated to believe these fowl concoctions are something more than just chicken tenders. And Christensen has had enough with this crime against the English language.

[Dacula]

“Lincoln has the opportunity to be a social leader in this country. We have been casually ignoring a problem that has gotten so out of control that our children are throwing around names and words, without understanding their true meaning, and treating things as though they’re normal,” Christensen told the city council.

“I go into nice family restaurants and see people throwing this name around and pretending as though everything is just fine. I’m talking about boneless chicken wings,” said Christensen.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

[libstripper]

About two weeks ago I went to one of our local restaurants and tried some of these monstrosities. They were just sliced chicken formed in a rectangular shape to mimic the real thing but they lacked both the actual fat content and any skin, making them just fried chicken tenders. Given their structure, there’s just no way to bone chicken wings and turn them into anything but shreds. Sorry, if you want the real thing you’re just going to have to get the real ones with bones.

[MV=PY]