Posted on 02/09/2021 1:21:07 PM PST by sodpoodle
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied.... 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Otago '
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
----------------------------------------------------------- You're laughing again
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day!
And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!
Good ones!
Those were funny. Ha ha.
Now get back in that kitchen and fix me a sandwich.
You misspelled samich.
“Now get back in that kitchen and fix me a sandwich.”
You just owned her.
🤣 🤣 🤣
C’mon now! I resemble those remarks. : )
Bad Diana. LOL!
It’s sammich.... get it right.
Like the meme says, there are at least 3.8 billion women in the world...you’d think it’d be clean by now.
I thought it was sammich. ??
Hey now, I resemble that remark :-)
“Now get back in that kitchen and fix me a sandwich.”
Don’t forget the beer.
Thanks. Humor is always appreciated
In the Bronx in the mid twentieth century(and earlier) it was Sangwich.
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!"
- So, a woman goes to the store to find a husband.
- On the first floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs".
- The second floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs and Love Kids".
- The third floor sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking."
- "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
- At the fourth floor the sign reads: "These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework."
- "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
- Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:"These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak."
- She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
- "You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
- Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store."
What you tryna say, Roman? That a redheaded gal named Tiffany who is a beautician by day and stripper by night could possibly be a bad thing?
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