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ood afternoon my friends. With all due “respect,” I’ld like to share with you a few of RODNEY DANGERFIELD’s funniest lines. Enjoy. Cappy 😎🤪😎😹😎 With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service. It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble...

I’m a 26-year-old black New Yorker and I believe in supporting what’s right. That’s why I can’t be silent about Vice President Kamala Harris anymore. Along with 90 percent of black voters, I pulled the lever for Joe Biden in 2020, partly because Harris was on the ticket, and I had high hopes for our first black, female vice president. But now they’re fading fast.

A group of Democrat women political strategists gathered for a dinner in Washington, D.C., in July, to discuss Vice President Kamala Harris’ media “crisis,” according to a report. Axios reports that former adviser to both Bill and Hillary Clinton, Kiki McLean, hosted the dinner with former DNC officials Donna Brazile and Leah Daughtry; former Barack Obama spokesperson and Joe Biden adviser Stephanie Cutter; former Hillary Clinton spokeswomen and Democratic strategists Adrienne Elrod and Karen Finney; and former Obama communications director Jennifer Palmieri, who also worked for Hillary Clinton’s second failed presidential campaign. No one from Harris’ office was present for...

Vice President Kamala Harris on Tuesday deflected questions about why she has not yet visited the southern border after being tasked with handling the “root causes” of migration, saying “we’ve been to the border.” NBC’s Lester Holt asked Harris whether she has plans to visit the border, having gone 76 days without a trip there since being named border czar. “I – at some point – you know – we are going to the border. We’ve been to the border,” Harris said. “So this whole – this whole – this whole thing about the border. We’ve been to the border....

Kamala Harris said on Wednesday that she will travel to Guatemala and Mexico -- not America's southern border -- to address the "root causes" of the migration crisis at the U.S.-Mexico southern border. Harris said "we have plans in the works to go to Guatemala as soon as possible," later saying she would also be stopping in Mexico. During her statement, Harris can be heard giggling in the video.

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied.... 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' University of Otago ' And they say blondes are dumb... ------------- A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.' The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...' ------------------------------------ 'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of...

An Old Golfer was hitting his ball from near a water hazard and his club fell into the water. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The golfer replied that his club had fallen into the water and he needed the club to have a chance to win the tournament and supplement his meager pension. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked. The golfer replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver club. "Is this your...

President Trump’s Department of Homeland Security released updated guidelines naming gun manufacturers and retailers as essential on Saturday, which means they are to stay open and operational nationwide during a Chinese coronavirus shutdown. The DHS guidelines list as essential: Workers supporting the manufacturing of safety equipment and uniforms for law enforcement, public safety personnel, and first responders. Workers supporting the operation of firearm or ammunition product manufacturers, retailers, importers, distributors, and shooting ranges. The Second Amendment Foundation’s Alan Gottlieb commented on the DHS declaration, saying, “Every freedom loving American owes President Trump and his administration a very big thank you...

1. When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil. 3.A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some homework." The robot slaps the son. The son says,...

Never Squat With Your Spurs ON Most will make you smile. A little wisdom is thrown in. Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash in Alaska with bush pilot Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political country/cowboy sages this country has ever known. Some of his sayings: 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 5. Always drink upstream from the herd. 6. If you find...

Does anyone believe the president had the foggiest idea what he'll say tonight as recently as mid-afternoon?  He's blown through three different Syria policies -- that we know of -- in the last 48 hours.  And because he promised America a speech, a speech we shall receive.  How will he frame his remarks?  Will they be tailored primarily for a domestic political audience, or for America's adversaries, who have been running rings around him while giggling?  My guess is that he'll issue a deadline and an ultimatum, while talking a lot about how US pressure created an opening for diplomacy...

Global average temperature has been flat for a decade. But frightening myths about global warming continue. We're told there are more hurricanes now. We're told that hurricanes are stronger. But the National Hurricane Center says it isn't so. Meteorologist Maria Molina told me it's not surprising that climatologists assumed hurricanes would get worse. "Hurricanes need warm ocean waters," but it turns out that "hurricanes are a lot more complicated than just warm ocean waters." Computer models have long predicted nasty effects from our production of greenhouse gasses. But the nasty effects have not appeared. As far as hurricanes, more hit...

The bad news is that governments do a lot of things they shouldn’t do. The good news is that I never run out of material.I’ve even created some sub-categories, such as my U.S. vs U.K. government stupidity contest and my great-moments-in-local-government series.But I never thought I would have a special category about bureaucrats vs. Bambi.1. Bureaucrats in Virginia filed three misdemeanor charges against a man for the horrible crime of rescuing a deer that was hit by a car.2. Bureaucrats in Maryland fined two men $90 each for not having life jackets when they had the gall to rescue a...

You can feel safer today knowing that a no-kill animal shelter in Wisconsin was recently raided by a group of 13 heavily armed agents of the government. They were there to get Giggles, an illegally rescued baby deer. A shelter worker said the agents descended on the property “like a swat team” and soon the deer was being carried off in a body bag. Giggles is dead now and the world is somehow a better place thanks to our government helpers. Speaking of killing things, the logging industry in the western states was mostly killed by an environmental movement in...

Government agents swarmed an animal shelter and killed a baby deer named Giggles as Wisconsin law forbids keeping wildlife without the right permit. WISN 12 News reported on a military-style operation in July where nine officers from the Department of Natural Resources and four deputy sheriffs stormed the barn at the Society of St. Francis on the Illinois border. Angry Cindy Schulze, the shelter's president, is planning legal action and questioned whether the raid was a good use of government resources. She accused authorities of going 'way over the top for a little, tiny, baby deer.' 'It was like a...

If a sheriff’s department was going in to do a search warrant on a drug bust, you might expect a swarm of squad cars to arrive on the scene with nine officers and four deputy sheriffs, all armed to the teeth... But what if - say - the proprietors of a Christian animal shelter (The Society of St. Francis!) were suspected to have rescued a fawn in a state where possession of wildlife is forbidden, but were in the process of transferring the animal to a wildlife preserve in another state where wild deer are permitted? You wouldn't expect the...

Hey, the President’s a busy man. Apparently, he’s too busy to remember the correct name of the man who wants his job: Criticizing his opponents’ economic policies at a New York fundraiser, President Obama made an interesting slip of the tongue tonight, identifying the GOP nominee as “George Romney.”The enthusiastic crowd at the Broadway fundraiser reacted with giggles, and a few cheers, as the president regained his composure.

Copenhagen (BH) – Moments after the International Olympic Committee announced that Chicago had been eliminated as a host site for the 2016 Olympic games, a group of US politicians, celebrities, and media figures held a press conference to protest the decision as “based on racism.” The group, which includes two former US Presidents, distributed a release with the headline: “I.O.C. and K.K.K. are not O.K. with the U.S.A.” President Barack Obama, his wife Michelle, and talk show host Oprah Winfrey - all Chicagoans – had traveled to Denmark in the hope that their popularity would lend some star appeal to...

Researchers have begun to unravel the information and social content present in the hyena's famed laugh, which they say is only used in times of conflict. The pitch and variability of the giggles may be used to indicate age or social status, they say. Younger hyenas tend to have high-pitched giggles, and dominant females of the strongly hierarchical clans tend to have a narrower range of sounds. The work will be reported at a meeting of the Acoustical Society of America. The rich social structure of hyena clans gives rise to many vocalisations, ranging from "whoops" that travel great distances...

GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. -- A man who worked at the Grand Junction Farmers' Market Festival as a clown named Giggles is accused of using the Internet to lure a child into having sex, the Grand Junction Sentinel reported Thursday. Antonio Eric Lazcano, 29, was arrested Friday by police officers on a warrant issued in Otero County. The investigation began when a woman in Rocky Ford, Colo., told law enforcement authorities that she found a photo of a naked man on her daughter's e-mail account.