Posted on 10/13/2021 5:45:18 AM PDT by karpov
Sitting in the Manhattan office of her then-husband’s gender counselor, Karen Ranney was taken aback by the suggestion that the couple’s love life would dramatically improve once he transitioned into a woman.
“She mentioned various methods and equipment we could use,” the 64-year-old mother of two told The Post. “She said, ‘You might find it very sexy.’ ”
Ranney, a former professional dancer who had reluctantly attended the consultation, replied: “I’ve known homosexuals, bisexuals and lesbians in the dance world, and I’m not closed-minded.
“But I’m plain Jane, the girl next door, and I know it’s not for me.”
The encounter with the therapist — whom she found unresponsive to her sense of betrayal and abandonment — is one of the memories chronicled in the New Yorker’s upcoming memoir, “The Curated Woods: A Grass Widow Her Seasons of Memories” (to be published under the pen name Ute Heggen through iUniverse next month).
Ranney’s book is partly named after the old-fashioned term for a wife who becomes so alienated from her spouse, he might as well have died. The author uses “grass widow” as a synonym for “trans widow,” the controversial term for a woman who hasn’t come to terms with a partner’s sex change.
“My husband says his male persona is dead,” she explained. “I call myself a grass widow because it’s as if I don’t have a grave to mourn at — only a patch of grass.”
Ranney says she wants to tell her side since she believes the emotional impact on the wife and family of a transitioning husband and father is seldom discussed. “It feels like your past has been erased,” she said.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
The book is excerpted at a site Women are Human that covers the trannie craze.
Pro tip: He’s not a woman.
My mother-in-law’s doctor went through this some years ago, maybe a decade? Doctor’s husband went trans. I’m pretty sure she got over it pretty well and I think remarried. This in small town flyover country, not in a big coastal city.
It’s amusing that therapist expects her to be a pseudo-lesbian.
I guess everyone gets to pick their gender and who they are sexually attracted to except heterosexuals.
The topic (women feeling as though they have been widowed because their husbands have undergone "sex-reassignment" surgery) is by no means "ridiculous."
Regards,
Such a sad story, but unfortunately the fruits of a Godless society. When you reject the One who is Truth, anything you want becomes “your truth.”
/s
Sorry but the wife should have told her husband he is mentally ill, and force him to get help rather than encourage it. Self inflicted!
My quilting friend had to deal with this when she was in her 60s. Husband became a woman. He doesn’t understand why his children won’t let him be around his grandchildren. He’s so focused on himself that he doesn’t care about the confusion his situation would create in small kids.
It’s a weird relationship. He wanted to live his life as a woman - but with her. She didn’t have the same mindset - not at ALL! She’ll move to a new place and he’ll follow her and get a house near her. He’s a hot mess, and has ruined her life.
No different than a husband who becomes an addict or runs off with another woman... it is abandonment and breaking of your vow.
I knew a married couple that went through this at about the same time.
She stayed with him through the surgery.
They ruined themselves financially paying for is operation. Drained most of their retirement savings.
Sex though, was a bridge too far. She finally left him.
Because the kids were older (in their teens) the dad wasn’t able to manipulate them into accepting his new self. As far as I know, they are still not on speaking terms with their father.
He threw it away for what? To be a woman. Well, he didn’t even get that, because he looks like a guy in a dress. No amount of surgery, makeup, or clothing can cover the fact that he’s a biological male.
He destroyed his life and his family. He would have been so much better off having counseling geared at making him accept reality (that he was a male).
I agree, but the husband’s actions and therapist’s advice are ridiculous.
The husband's actions are sad, selfish, shameful, and unnatural, while the therapist's attitude is deplorable (and an argument could probably be made that he was guilty of malpractice).
The story is ridiculous - but the topic (which you referenced) is serious.
Regards,
True. And a “gender counselor” is not a real thing, it’s merely a scam artist. no wonder this fiasco has gone south.
Not a surprise at all, because mental illness always manifests itself in constant and varied problems of narcissism, selfishness, illogic, etc..
For example, an alcoholic may be violent, but they are also irrational, deceitful, manipulative, spendthrift, irresponsible all at the same time. How much more so for someone with gender dysphoria?
What the bleep is a gender counselor? When I’m learning Spanish nouns I don’t need a counselor!
The one Karen I can feel sympathy for. I hope she tells that therapist to go to h-e-double hockey sticks. Aren’t therapists supposed to listen to you and not judge you for your pain? Legally, he has a right to get surgery, but she is not morally obligated to stay and deal with this mess. She’s right that her husband and this therapist are trying to erase her past. Dump both of ‘em.
And this is the dirty little secret about the downplaying of the mental illness associated with this dysphoria. I’ve yet to see an example of these procedures that results in a convincing female appearance. Conversions will only exasperate their condition — particularly as they age — that the image they see in the mirror is worse than the image they left pre-surgery.
The real tragedy in this affliction is that we are not helping these poor souls by encouraging them to get therapy rather than turning a blind eye to this illness with some weird notion of acceptance.
Bruce Jenner is probably the best case scenario for most male to female trans, because he has endless amounts of cash to spend not only on surgery, but clothing, makeup, and stylists. And it’s still obvious he’s a man in a dress.
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