Posted on 10/30/2021 3:45:36 AM PDT by sodpoodle
For those who need to know everything: ****************************** The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood Plasma. ****************************** No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Oh, go ahead .. I'll wait. ****************************** * Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your ass!) ****************************** ** You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. ****************************** The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum. ****************************** The King of Hearts is the only King WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE ****************************** American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.. ****************************** Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you?) It tells you that women are going in the 'right' direction! ****************************** ***** Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. ****************************** ***** Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN! ****************************** ******* The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first 'Marlboro Man'. ****************************** ******* Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE! ****************************** ******** PEARLS DISSOLVE IN VINEGAR! ************************************** The ten most valuable brand names on earth: Apple, Coca Cola, Google, IBM, Microsoft, GE, McDonalds, Samsung, Intel, and Toyota, in that order. ****************************** *********** It IS possible to lead a cow upstairs...but, NOT downstairs. ****************************** ********** A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. *************************************** Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!) ****************************** ******** And the best for last! Turtles can breathe through their BUTTS! (I know some people like that, don't YOU?)
So! Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on..and go move your toothbrush! And stop folding that DAMN PAPER! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> AND FINALLY... A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”
The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”
The pharmacist’s eyes got big, and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, “You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
God bless
(Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!)
Yep, knew that one and a couple others.
Just be glad it’s not live skin and reforms like a T-1000 🤪🤪🤪
Regards,
I know! I’m useless;)
(Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!)
Heh
I’ve heard that Freud was afraid of houseplants or plants in general.
Of course that may just be an urban legend. It was decades ago that I heard that. 🤪
The air will always be different to a midget on a crowded elevator.
And now the stewardesses get their heads smashed in.
For those who need to know everything:
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood Plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Oh, go ahead .. I’ll wait.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your ass!)
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.
The King of Hearts is the only King WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE *
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class..
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you?) It tells you that women are going in the ‘right’ direction!
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first ‘Marlboro Man’.
Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!
PEARLS DISSOLVE IN VINEGAR!
The ten most valuable brand names on earth: Apple, Coca Cola, Google, IBM, Microsoft, GE, McDonalds, Samsung, Intel, and Toyota, in that order.
It IS possible to lead a cow upstairs...but, NOT downstairs.
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
And the best for last! Turtles can breathe through their BUTTS! (I know some people like that, don’t YOU?)
VANILLA!
/random Biden
One year I was at the small local grocery store buying Thanksgiving fixins. While shopping I spotted mouse poison on sale. I like to spread it in the garage and crawl space in the winter so I picked up some. The very young checkout girl rang up everything and when she got to the poison, she held it up and looked at me. With a straight face I said “Inlaws are comming for Thanksgiving”. She just shrugged her shoulders bagged it up.
This is why, in ancient days, those who could afford to would put some pearls in their wine - to reduce its acidity. (Winemaking was not perfected yet.)
Cat scan: When your kitty goes missing
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