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Humor: Companies and Brand Names Likely to Fail
Home | 3/19/2022 | Self

Posted on 03/19/2022 10:30:07 AM PDT by Fester Chugabrew

Sharp Doughnuts

Hoffa Meats

Amputee Mowing Service

Bendover Soap Company

Pubescent Shampoo

Thunderfart Baked Beans

Brown's Underwear

Libel Publishing Co.

Monica's Dress Shop

B*tch Queen Kennels

Botch Tape

Pinprick Prophylactics

Porky's Kosher Deli

Amalgamated Dithering

Skunk Perfume

Earhart Airlines

Warpmaster Lumber

Big Tex Lingerie

Invisible, Inc.

Berger Security, Inc.

Bambi Shotguns

Fudge Packing Co.

Titanic Pools

Dead Tree Paper Co.

Capone Bat Co.

Dullsworth Books

Face Stapler Co.

High Jeans

Bucky Toothbrushes

Fulldrop Piano Co.

Berger Safes

Trusty Stools

Mattress Ammonia Co.

Pebble Marshmallows

Penthouse Screws

Moore's Yogurt

Helen Thomas Makeup

Waterman's Roofing Co.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: fail; humor; offbrands
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To: Fester Chugabrew

Pelosi’s Denture Glue

The Biden School of Elocution


41 posted on 03/19/2022 11:17:38 AM PDT by Mister Da (The mark of a wise man is not what he knows, but what he knows he doesn't know!)
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To: HighSierra5

Slashmor Tires


42 posted on 03/19/2022 11:20:34 AM PDT by Fester Chugabrew (No nation that sanctions the wholesale slaughter of its unborn citizens is fit to endure.)
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To: Fester Chugabrew
Maxine Waters Wigs

Obamaroid Cream

McConnell Lye Soap

43 posted on 03/19/2022 11:23:07 AM PDT by MHGinTN (A dispensation perspective is a powerful tool for discernment)
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To: Fester Chugabrew
How about an airplane manufacturer whose name sounds like the noise that cartoon airplanes make when land hard (or crash):

FREE photo hosting by Host Pic.Org - Free Image Picture Photo Hosting

boing ... boing ... boing ... boing ...

44 posted on 03/19/2022 11:23:13 AM PDT by Paal Gulli
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To: Fester Chugabrew
From a Chinese menu:

Golden Shower pork

Surprising Flavors beef

Choked Chicken dim sum

45 posted on 03/19/2022 11:24:15 AM PDT by Noumenon (Black American flag time. KTF)
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To: Born in 1950

And then there are real businesses that fail.

Our family tried Schwan’s many years ago. Similar experience. I don’t think the new name will help.


46 posted on 03/19/2022 11:26:34 AM PDT by Fester Chugabrew (No nation that sanctions the wholesale slaughter of its unborn citizens is fit to endure.)
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To: Fester Chugabrew

Fauci Scientific


47 posted on 03/19/2022 11:27:25 AM PDT by Fester Chugabrew (No nation that sanctions the wholesale slaughter of its unborn citizens is fit to endure.)
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To: Fester Chugabrew
I recommend this place....

Stream Sofa Kingdom music | Listen to songs, albums, playlists for free on  SoundCloud

48 posted on 03/19/2022 11:37:22 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (I love my country. It's my government that I hate.)
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To: Fester Chugabrew

49 posted on 03/19/2022 11:40:18 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd (I love my country. It's my government that I hate.)
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To: Fester Chugabrew

Full Deck Mental Health Center.


50 posted on 03/19/2022 11:50:36 AM PDT by Migraine ( )
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To: Fester Chugabrew

In Pennsylvania we have Bimbo Bakeries. I think they own Sara Lee and other well-known brands.


51 posted on 03/19/2022 11:50:54 AM PDT by Buttons12 ( )
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To: Fester Chugabrew

Hannibal Lecter’s Gourmet Restaurant


52 posted on 03/19/2022 11:51:53 AM PDT by The people have spoken (Proud member of Hillary's basket of deplorables)
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To: HighSierra5

There was a Deli in Easton, CT called Durty Dick’s.
Might still be there.


53 posted on 03/19/2022 11:57:12 AM PDT by sonova (That's what I always say sometimes.)
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To: Buttons12

Bimbo was originally a Mexican bakery, founded 1945. Their home page says that the name the name ‘Bimbo’ is “a combination of Bingo, a popular song in America at the time, and the Disney movie, Bambi”.

We get their sandwich bread at the local Hispanic store. It isn’t much different from Wonder Bread.


54 posted on 03/19/2022 12:05:24 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Fester Chugabrew

“Thunderfart Baked Beans”

Oh, man, I’d buy a case and give it away as gifts.


55 posted on 03/19/2022 12:20:58 PM PDT by Gen.Blather (Wait! I said that out loud. Sorry.)
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To: Buttons12

Ha! There is a Bimbo Bakery not far from here, too. Northern Indiana. They produce several baked brands. Odd name for a bakery.


56 posted on 03/19/2022 12:21:02 PM PDT by Fester Chugabrew (No nation that sanctions the wholesale slaughter of its unborn citizens is fit to endure.)
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To: Fester Chugabrew

These are actual businesses I found at this site:

https://www.qualitylogoproducts.com/blog/top-10-worst-business-names/

Analtech - Newark, DE
Morning Wood Company - Jacksonville, FL
Bunghole Liquors - Peabody, MA
Poopsie’s - Pembroke, MA
Sam & Ella’s Chicken Palace - Tahlequah, OH
Passmore Gas & Propane - Lake Havasu City, AZ
Chew-N-Butts - Cle Elum, WA
Master Bait & Tackle - Bonita Beach, FL
Dumass Taco - Tomball, TX
Knobs ‘n’ Knockers - Lahaska, PA

I even gave you the name of the city/town where they were located and there are pictures of the locations at the site.
Wy69


57 posted on 03/19/2022 12:23:38 PM PDT by whitney69
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To: Fester Chugabrew

Boss Come in. (Mr Frog comes in) Ah, Frog.
Frog S. Frog, sir.
Boss Shut up, I want to have a word with you, Frog.
Frog S. Frog, sir.
Boss Shut up. It’s about your advertising campaign for Conquistador Coffee. Now, I’ve had the managing director of Conquistador to see me this morning and he’s very unhappy with your campaign. Very unhappy. In fact, he’s shot himself.
Frog Badly, sir?
Boss No, extremely well. (lifts up a leg belonging to a body behind desk, and holds up a card saying ‘joke’) Well, before he went he left a note with the company secretary (opens a nearby door; a dead company secretary falls out), the effect of which was how disappointed he was with your work and, in particular, why you had changed the name from Conquistador Instant Coffee to Conquistador Instant Leprosy. Why, Frog?
Frog S. Frog, sir.
Boss Shut up. Why did you do it?
Frog It was a joke.
Boss A joke? (holds up card saying ‘joke’)
Frog No, no not a joke, a sales campaign. (holds up a card saying ‘No, a Sales Campaign’)
Boss I see, Frog.
Frog S. Frog, sir.
Boss Shut up. Now, let’s have a look at the sales chart. (indicates a plummeting sales graph) When you took over this account, Frog, Conquistador was a brand leader. Here you introduced your first campaign, ‘Conquistador Coffee brings a new meaning to the word vomit’. Here you made your special introductory offer of a free dead dog with every jar, and this followed your second campaign ‘the tingling fresh coffee which brings you exciting new cholera, mange, dropsy, the clap, hard pad and athlete’s head. From the House of Conquistador’.
Frog It was a soft-sell, sir
Boss Why, Frog?
Frog S. Frog, sir.
Boss Shut up! Well?
Frog Well, people know the name, sir.
Boss They certainly do know the name - they burnt the factory down. The owner is hiding in my bathroom (shot heard) - the owner was hiding in my bathroom. (holds up ‘joke’ card again)
Frog You’re not going to fire me, sir?
Boss Fire you? Three men dead, the factory burnt down, the account lost and our firm completely bankrupt, what... what... what ... can you possibly say? What excuse can you possibly make?
Frog Sorry, father. (holds up the ‘joke’ card)


58 posted on 03/19/2022 12:24:14 PM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: Fester Chugabrew

Floyd Respirators


59 posted on 03/19/2022 12:24:41 PM PDT by Fester Chugabrew (No nation that sanctions the wholesale slaughter of its unborn citizens is fit to endure.)
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To: Fester Chugabrew
Bucky tooth brushes? It worked for tooth paste.

IPANA TOOTHPASTE BUCKY BEAVER

60 posted on 03/19/2022 12:24:51 PM PDT by gnarledmaw (Hive minded liberals worship leaders, sovereign conservatives elect servants.)
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