Posted on 02/10/2023 5:17:18 AM PST by sodpoodle
Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keepbusy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true? Where can it be found? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ...."
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?A: Take off your glasses
Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face? A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out..
Q: Why should 70-plus year old people use valet parking? A: Valetsdon't forget where they park your car.
Q: Isit common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem. Retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes,but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus-year-olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh,I remember these!"
Guy goes into a bar in Berwick, La. where there’s a robot bartender.
The robot says, “What will you have?”
The guy says, “Whiskey.”
The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, “What’s your
IQ?”
The guy says,” 168.”
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and
medical technology.
The guy leaves, but he is curious...So
he goes back into the bar.
The robot bartender says, “What will you have?”
The guy says, “Whiskey.”
Again, the robot brings the man his drink and says, “What’s your IQ?”
The guy says, “100.”
The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser, the Saints and
LSU Tigers.
The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try
it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, “What will you have?”
The guy says, “Whiskey,” and the robot brings him his whiskey.
The robot then says, “What’s your IQ?
The guy says, “Uh, about 50.”
The robot leans in real close and says,
“So, you people still happy
with Joe Biden?
Lobe the punch line!!
Oops. Love the punch line.
Q: What stretches farther, rubber or skin?
A: Skin, of course. The Bible teaches us that Moses tied his ass to a tree and walked 40 miles.
Cheers!
An octogenarian walks into a bar and the bartender asks “what did Clint teach us”
The Octo replied “ don’t let the old man in”
Needed this....Love Ya Sod......Sac
Thank goodness I am still a youthful 65!
On the other hand…wait…what were we talking about?
What I have to look forward to next year when I turn 70.
Grimly humorous observation is not to worry about old age
It doesn’t last very long.
That hits too close to home!😁
I have a couple of acquaintances I’m gonna send this to.
Menopause is sort of alluded to in the Bible, when Sarah, in the OT, and Elizabeth, mother of John the Baptist, gave birth in old age...
“Tell him you’re pregnant.”
I had heard that prenatal vitamins can be helpful if your hair is thinning. When I told DH I needed to get some when we were at Walmart, he did get quite a look on his face. LOL!
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