Minority Report

Self via Psychic Energy | July 9, 2002 | PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

Hi everybody! I just thought I would let you know that I am now a Pre-Cog, spending all my time just floating around here in the Pre-Cog Tank. I can't really say it is a barrel of laughs being stuck in the Pre-Cog tank. What I wouldn't do for a just a brewski and a turkey sandwich. Unfortunately that is a no-no. I just gotta float around here 24/7 transmitting future murders. There are two other Pre-Cogs here in the Pre-Cog tank. A male and female Pre-Cog. The female is no fun. Not only does she have a shaved head and a weird look in her eyes on the few occasions that she opens them, but her conversation consists only of screaming out a few things she Pre-Cogs from future crime scenes. As for the male Pre-Cog, he also has no personality. Worst of all he is constantly peeing in the Pre-Cog Tank.

This brings me to the reason why I am using my psychic energy to make this post. I have a Pre-Cog vision of a murder. The victim is that pissant Pre-Cog in the tank and the murderer is me. I forsee that I will soon be strangling and drowning him for fouling up the Pre-Cog Tank. So please ignore the no-entry rules for the Pre-Cog tank and come on in and arrest me for a future murder.

[PJ-Comix]

BTW, Pre-Cogs shouldn't be confused with Pre-Clogs. Pre-Clogs are a very specialized form of Pre-Cogs. A Pre-Clog can predict who in the future will become constipated.

[Sungirl]

Are you still drinking all those coconuts?

[PJ-Comix]

Are you still drinking all those coconuts?

Yes, but that is more Un-Clogging than Pre-Cogging. If you read my previous comments about the effects of consuming coconuts, you would know what I mean. (More of an Ex-Lax moment than a Maalox moment.)

[Sungirl]

Hahah...you are something else.....I think you really could be a pre-cog (I saw the movie too).

[PJ-Comix]

I specialize in Celeb Pre-Cogging. And here comes the victim's Red Ball with his initials---BBT.

Now Pre-Cogging the murderer. She is very Jolly. Or is it Jolie? Anyway I see lots and lots of blood. No, it's not the murder scene. It is just fun and games time for those two. And the blood is collected in vials that they wear.

But don't worry. I am Pre-Cogging that a murder will definitely happen. Just as soon as Jolly or Jolie finds out that BBT is cheating on her.