Posted on 06/20/2003 4:47:49 AM PDT by Chairman_December_19th_Society
Subject: FW: Why God Created Children
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why?"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?"God asked.
"Uh huh,"Adam replied.
"Then why did you?"said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!"Adam said.
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT! THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you? :-)
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home.
...AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
The terrorism that morning is, in my mind, as though it was this morning.
I'm waiting for the aspirin to kick in before I go outside to do this and that. A little joint pain this morning.
Main Entry: 1sun
Pronunciation: 's&n
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English sunne, from Old English; akin to Old High German sunna sun, Latin sol -- more at SOLAR
Date: before 12th century
1 a often capitalized : the luminous celestial body around which the earth and other planets revolve, from which they receive heat and light, and which has a mean distance from earth of 93,000,000 miles (150,000,000 kilometers), a linear diameter of 864,000 miles (1,390,000 kilometers), a mass 332,000 times greater than earth, and a mean density about one fourth that of earth b : a celestial body like the sun
2 : the heat or light radiated from the sun
3 : one resembling the sun (as in warmth or brilliance)
4 : the rising or setting of the sun
Back later.
Remember the incident that happened with Mark at the school which really was the deciding issue of whether to let them stay or go..when the two black men pulled up in the car, opened the door and told him to get in? And the principal blew it off as a couple of "teenagers playing a prank"?
This morning my husband handed me the local section. A 52-year old man was beaten and robbed in the church parking lot Wednesday at 11:55am (he was headed to 12:10pm Mass) by 6 unidentified males...and not one witness. Now, I understand that this has nothing to do with the principal, but if a 52-year old man can have this happen in BROAD DAYLIGHT, why would what happened to Mark be considered "a prank by a couple of teenagers"?
Thank God I took them out.
One more thing: I have been reading the Letters to the Editors in the Ledger for weeks now, and all I hear is bunch of whiners. Today, I've had it. I am going to write a letter, point out their lies and/or ask them for the proof of their allegations, and suggest two choices: tell them if they don't like what's going on in our country that (A)They can get off their lazy, liberal butts and run for office and see how well they do OR (B) They can leave the country at any time.
After that, I'm gonna take a Calgon bath......LOL.....
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