Divorce Tale/ NY / HELP. (Need a roomate? ;-) )

[1stFreedom]

SUMMARY: My wife locks our son in the car near a store. She calls me and I come unlock the door. So, both of us are upset. She says we absolutely need a cell phone. I'm like, "you got hold of me without one, right? People lived for centuries without them."

I say we don't have the money. I have enough money in the bank to pay rent, buy groceries, and make the car payment. She's says if I don't buy her one then she has a standing offer from a "friend" to get her one.

If you haven't seen my other posts, her "friend" is a male whom she has spent the night with on two occassions supposedly talking at diners or in parking lots.

The fact that she is throwing his offer in my face pisses me off. Later at home she again throws this offer from her "boyfriend" in my face. So I "schooch" her towards the door well telling her to get the "F*&K" out of my house. Big mistake on my part, admitedly.

So, she calls 911. I hang up the phone.

She then goes to grab our 3 year old son and I tell her to forget it and get out. Now, I know this is futile since the courts are stacked against me, so I give in. I give her the keys to the van and tell her to get out.

911 calls back an she talks to them.

Cops come, talk to us, then leave under the assumption that she had a place to stay. She doesn't leave since her friends are all gone this weekend. No charges filed.

I have no place to go from here except renting another apartment She has numerous friends who have offered to let her stay if things got worse than they were.

Like I said, there isn't much support for men. It's here or I live in my dodge Neon for the next few months.

I'm unemployed, can't collect unemployment (self employed), and in need of a job. I'd like to get going on divorce mediation. Going before a judge for a summary divorce wouldn't be wise since we both have plenty of baggage on each other -- better to just settle issues out of court and have a judge rubber stamp it in a divorce proceeding.

There are plenty of resources for women, but not much for men. I can't afford a cell phone, mediation, or a lawyer. She has all the options, while I have none.

I'm a programmer, and thanks in part to the DOT COM bomb and the export of jobs to India, I haven't had much success finding anything.

Any advice? Does anyone know of a programming position available? Believe me, I've been scouring the online job boards and NY times for week have submitted almost 100 resumes. The results aren't pretty.

I have no real prospects yet except one job managing OUTSOURCED PROGRAMMERS IN INDIA! F@%kers! The are part of the reason I can't find work.

How bad would taking a job like this make me feel? Imagine having to take a job at the million mom march, ACLU, planned parenthood, or Billary Klinton's office. Not cool, huh? Problem is whatever job I get I have to stay at for a long time. I've been job hopping (consultant) for years and now if I quit a full time job, I'll never land another job.

Anybody aware of any ASP/VB/Access/VBA/SQL Server jobs in NYC/Westchester/Fairfield county not yet publicly posted? I'm really looking to find someone in company who is in a position to influence or make a hiring decision.

Any fathers rights attorneys out there willing to work at a reduced rate -- payment paid upon my first paycheck WHEN I get a job? (Can't pay till I get work.)

Family & friends are in California, and none of them has money.

Finally, anybody looking for a conservative roomate? ;-)

[cyborg]

Is this a joke?

[diefree]

go to www.craigslist.com, lots of jobs there and it's free

[Reactionary]

It isn't a joke. As it stands now, a woman can screw your best friend, get the kids, the car, the house, and sneer at you as she throws your clothes into a pit.

Equality? My eye.

[The Westerner]

Good luck, man. Hope someone can give you a lead.

[mommadooo3]

Have you tried 'America's Job Bank'?

[1stFreedom]

I've been posting here on FR for a few years. It's no joke.

[FITZ]

You need a female lawyer and try to get custody of your kid.

[1stFreedom]

I mean I'm post quite a bit and don't post jokes. This situation is new and real.

[BCrago66]

"I have no real prospects yet except one job managing OUTSOURCED PROGRAMMERS IN INDIA!"

A lot of people have it worse than you and end up working for Burger King for $7 an hour. The job that you just mentioned seems to be a more lucrative supervisory position - so perhaps you can place your love of money above your hatred for enterprising Indians an reconsider that job.

[FITZ]

Try to get pictures of her spending time with her lover --- and if there were witnesses to her locking the baby in the car. She might be putting the baby at risk --- neglecting the baby to be with her boyfriend --- I'd fight for custody.

[1stFreedom]

Nope. but I've been checking out:
Hotjobs.com
Flipdog.com
Monster.com
Careerbuilder.com
Dice.com
Nettemps.com
NYTimes.com

I check them *daily* and respond immediately to any job I qualify for. I then follow up with a phone call. Not much success.

Many jobs posted on line are either fake or already filled. Check back each day and you'll see the same jobs posted with a new date. I've been doing this for years and sometimes I even see the same generic from the same company posted online. Most of these offenders are contract companies.

[1stFreedom]

Look. It's not worth it. My son needs his mom too. I'd rather he be with her than in daycare. The worst thing I could do is impact my son this way.

[baltodog]

You leave that house and it's her's, man.

[cyborg]

The courts have traditionally been kinder towards the mother than the father for good reason. Now I do not think that is as applicable since the onset of liberal feminism.

[Salvation]

**You need a female lawyer and try to get custody of your kid.**

Legal Aid

[1stFreedom]

>>place your love of money above your hatred for enterprising Indians an reconsider that job.

First of all, it's a caucasion who owns the company I would be working for AND the outsourcing firm in India.

Secondly, I don't hate Indians. I have had the pleasure of working with many in my consulting experience. I actually like working with them and think highly of them.

What bothers me is that I can't get a job because they are being shipped to India. I can't get a job because I can't work for $5k per year.

And, burger king won't pay the 1k rent. Throw child support and alimony, lawyers bills, and then rent for my own hole in the wall (YMCA??) and car payments, and BK will not do anything. Cost of living in NY is high.

[cyborg]

I didn't mean any insult. I know sometimes people post things from the Onion,etc.

[FITZ]

If you don't mind your son being raised by another man and an adulterous that's up to you --- it's doubtful that married women attract the best quality of men though. Just take any job you can -- you'll need it --- you have to at least make sure your kid eats and has child support.

[1stFreedom]

Well, we rent (Thank God!!!)

I told her I refuse to leave without a court order in the form of a divorce/separation agreement.

Why? I don't want to be seen by the courts as having abandoned my child.

And she has plenty more options than me. The only option I have is to live homeless in my car. Her friends will take her in.