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Doesn’t Anyone Remember Tom Lehrer?
Special to FreeRepublic ^ | January 13, 2004 | John Armor (Congressman Billybob)

Posted on 01/13/2004 1:44:50 PM PST by Congressman Billybob

In the entire weekend discussion of the President Bush’s “guest worker” proposal for (mostly) Mexicans in the United States, there was a yawning omission. Doesn’t anybody remember Tom Lehrer, George Murphy, or the braceros? As the master himself was wont to say, “Here’s a song about that.”

Shortly after the 1964 election in which California elected a singer/actor, George Murphy, as its new Senator, Tom Lehrer presented his musical “salute to your new junior senator” at the legendary Hungry I in San Francisco. Some of what Lehrer said and sang, so long ago, requires updating. In his introduction to the song “George Murphy,” he said, “I'm from Massachusetts, and I feel that we have a certain right to gloat over the other states because Massachusetts is after all the only state with three senators.” That is no longer accurate. Substitute Arkansas for Massachusetts and it becomes accurate today.

But part of that old, relatively unknown song is current, accurate, and applies to the Bush proposals on Mexican workers in the United States. The few of you who are devotes of the opera of Lehrer know exactly where this is headed. You’re smiling; I know you are.

The song begins:

“Hollywood's often tried to mix
Show business with politics
From Helen Gahagan
To Ronald Reagan
But Mister Murphy is the star
Who's done the best by far....”

Gahagan was a Congresswoman from California, a former Broadway star, defeated by Richard Nixon in a campaign that attacked this actress as being “pink down to her underwear.” The names of the candidates have changed with the passing decades, but not their politics. Ronald Reagan was just beginning his first term as Governor of California. Thirty-nine years later, Hollywood is still up to its Spockian ears in politics.

But the subject of today’s sermonette is the Bush proposal on Mexicans in the United States, and what should and will happen to that proposal as it wends its way through Congress. The charges and countercharges, the social and legislative battles have only just begun. But in the flood of words broadcast and written in the opening weekend of this struggle, no one mentioned that we HAVE ALREADY HAD such a program. It worked. And it lasted for 22 years.

Here’s how the song introduces this subject:

“The movies that you've seen
On your television screen
Show his legislative talents at a glance
Should Americans pick crops, George says no
'Cause no one but a Mexican would stoop so low
And after all, even in Egypt, the pharaohs
Had to import Hebrew braceros....”

The Bracero program was negotiated in 1942 between the US and Mexico, and adopted by Congress as a law. With so many Americans going into the military, or into war production industries, there simply wasn’t the manpower available for American farmers to bring in their crops with American labor. On an accelerated basis, the US and Mexico agreed that hundreds of thousands of Mexicans would come into the US for certain agricultural jobs, at certain minimum wages, with a savings program built in with that money being returned to the workers when they returned to Mexico.

There were problems with the bracero program, but overall it was essential to the economies of both the United States and Mexico during WW II. In fact, the program worked so well that it was extended after the war for 20 years, not ending until 1964.

My understanding of the bracero program is that Mexico cooperated with the US in policing the border between our nations, and that illegal immigration was held to an absolute minimum. The Mexican workers in the US were not guaranteed general access to American schools or medical facilities, and when they had children born while they were in the US, those children were Mexicans, not Americans.

The program was ended because of the conclusion that the program caused the Mexican “guest workers” to be treated inhumanely. Yet the opposite conclusion, that anyone in the United States regardless of how or why they got here are entitled to the full panoply of American health, education and social services today is bleeding our nation dry in public costs, especially in California, Texas and Florida.

Am I suggesting that anyone should die for lack of emergency medical care, as Billie Holliday did on a southern highway because, being black, she could not be taken to the nearest hospital? Of course not. But I am suggesting that the level of services available should be a matter of negotiation between the US and Mexico, with Mexico participating in the payment of the costs for that.

Next is the matter of citizenship. There have been instances of Mexican women who are eight months pregnant, dying in the deserts of Arizona, or in locked vans attempting to smuggle them into the US, because they wanted their children to be born in the US and therefore become American citizens. This is an insane result for all concerned, and Congress has the power, if it so chooses, to solve this problem by legal definition.

No child born of parents in the US illegally, or legally under tourist or guest worker provisions which require them to return to their own nations, should become American citizens by accident of such births.

Again, I am not suggesting any attempted change (if attempted, I do not think it would succeed), to change the citizenship status of any child or adult who is now recognized as an American. However, going forward, this problem can and should be solved in the legislation that will eventually grow from this proposal.

A good friend of mine, and colleague as a journalist, is a Canadian who married an American, is working toward his American citizenship, and all three of their children are Americans. If one parent is an American, the children are American. And, the goal of preserving families should be retained. This policy only presents a problem when it is pushed to the limit – an infant just born to illegal immigrants is an “American” and therefore the entire extended family of eight people have a leg up on remaining in the US and becoming American citizens.

And let’s address the tendency of “immigrant rights” organization to avoid the word “illegal” in all they say and write, and even going so far as to claim that it is prejudicial even to refer to these “undocumented workers” as “illegals.” When Jesse James robbed a bank at gunpoint, was he making an “undocumented withdrawal”? When a fat cat pays a bribe to a politician, is he only making an “undocumented political donation”? Gimme a d*mned break.

If and when a legislative program results from the Bush proposal, it should make an absolute distinction between all who are granted the right to work in the US for a period of years, and those who have violated US law and continue to violate it by staying here illegally. A centerpiece of the legislation should be that all Mexicans or other nationals who wish to work in the US MUST sign up for the program with full ID (photographs and fingerprints) to do so. And all who do NOT sign up that way, are subject to immediate arrest and deportation. To give Mexico an incentive to control its own side of the border, the costs of apprehending and expelling all illegals after the new program is set up, should be reimbursed from the Mexican government.

As the saying goes, “the Devil is in the details.” Those who think the US should stick its head in the sand and continue to ignore a disastrous situation will label any steps taken now as “amnesty.” But the program will not actually be an amnesty if it draws clear differences between those who are “guest workers” and those who are following all aspects of the law to earn their citizenship through existing channels.

The bracero program between 1942 and 1964 brought at its maximum about 700,000 Mexican citizens per year into the United States to work. It is both amazing to me, and appalling, that none of the politicians or talking heads who weighed in on the Bush proposal this weekend ever uttered the word “bracero.” It is garden-variety common sense that if the nation has done something in the past, any present proposal ought to take into account both the benefits and the liabilities of the last program, in designing any new program. “Those who forget their history are condemned to repeat it.” Georges Santayana.

One last tidbit from Lehrer’s song is appropriate here, since we are now into a presidential election year. Murphy’s two best-known performances on Broadway were in musical reviews. (His film appearances were mostly in B movies.) The song ends:

“Yes, now that he's a Senator, he's really got the chance
To give the public [long piano riff, punch the last four words] a song and dance....”

- 30 -

About the Author: John Armor is an author and columnist on politics and history. He currently has an Exploratory Committee to run for Congress.

- 30 -


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events; US: California; US: Florida; US: North Carolina; US: Texas
KEYWORDS: aliens; braceros; bush; georgemurphy; illegalimmigration; mexico; richardnixon; tomlehrer
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To: Yehuda
Oh Thanks a Lot!



[LOL]
61 posted on 01/13/2004 3:07:46 PM PST by FormerlyAnotherLurker (This space for rent)
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To: Congressman Billybob
Yup remember him very well. One of my moms favorite memories was my sister and I at a local eatery going through the "sundae bar" and singing that bit from "My Home Town"

...he killed his mother-in-law and ground her up REAL well, and sprinkled just a bit over each banana split..."

Mom says the other patrons looked absolutely horrified and my sister and I just laughed.

Great childhood memories, also the Irish Ballad was priceless. As far as I know some of his stuff still gets airplay in markets that are lucky enough to have the Dr. Demento show.
62 posted on 01/13/2004 3:09:27 PM PST by BudgieRamone (Unapologetically Male: I eat, sleep, shoot, drink, use power tools, and water my herbs & orchids :))
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To: Congressman Billybob
CFR is becoming a farce. One company after another has been announcing the formation of its own PAC and announcing that all company donations will now be made through the PAC. Microsoft, just announced that their PAC would be donating thousands of dollars to Patty Murray (Osama Mama). I saw that BP had announced a PAC and a few more that I can't remember.

We should all send John McCain a thank you note for all the good his campaign finance bill has done the country.
63 posted on 01/13/2004 3:10:10 PM PST by Eva
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To: Congressman Billybob
Congressman, would you be so kind as to launch a vanity asking what happened to Saddam?

I'm plum outta vanity points. :o)

But I am curious as hell. He's dropped off the radar.

64 posted on 01/13/2004 3:11:10 PM PST by Lazamataz (I slam, you slam, we all slam, for Islam !)
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To: Congressman Billybob
When it's fiesta time in Guadalajara,
Then I long to be back once again
In Old Mexico.
Where we lived for today, never giving a thought to tomara.
To the strumming of guitars,
In a hundred grubby bars
I would whisper "Teo amo."*

The mariachis would serenade,
And they would not shut up till they were paid.
We ate, we drank, and we were merry,
And we got typhoid and dysentery.**

But best of all, we went to the Plaza de Toros.
Now whenever I start feeling morose,
I revive by recalling that scene.
And names like Belmonte, Dominguin, and Manolete,***
If I live to a hundred and eight-tay,
I shall never forget what they mean.

For there is surely nothing more beautiful in this world than the sight of a lone man facing single-handedly a half a ton of angry pot roast!

Out came the matador,
Who must have been potted or
Slightly insane, but who looked rather bored.
Then the picadors of course,
Each one on his horse,
I shouted "Olé!" every time one was gored.

I cheered at the banderilleros' display,
As they stuck the bull in their own clever way,
For I hadn't had so much fun since the day
My brother's dog Rover
Got run over.

Rover was killed by a Pontiac. And it was done with such grace and artistry that the witnesses awarded the driver both ears and the tail**** - but I digress.

The moment had come,
I swallowed my gum,
We knew there'd be blood on the sand pretty soon.
The crowd held its breath,
Hoping that death
Would brighten an otherwise dull afternoon.

At last, the matador did what we wanted him to,
He raised his sword and his aim was true.
In that moment of truth, I suddenly knew
That someone had stolen my wallet.

Now it's fiesta time in Akron, Ohio,
But it's back to old Guadalajara I'm longing to go.
Far away from the strikes of the A.F. of L. and C.I.O.*****
How I wish I could get back
To the land of the wetback******,
And forget the Alamo,
In Old Mexico. Olé!

65 posted on 01/13/2004 3:16:05 PM PST by Maceman (Too nuanced for a bumper sticker)
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To: Yehuda
I'll have to get ahold of some of his songs again. He was really funny, timeless. There is so much truth in some of the songs like this one.
66 posted on 01/13/2004 3:19:29 PM PST by Aliska
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To: Lancey Howard
Ah...no. Tom Lehrer was/is funny. Al Franken...isn't.
67 posted on 01/13/2004 3:24:19 PM PST by Rifleman
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To: Yehuda
I guess the lyrics are all out there on the net. Too much trouble to put in all the line breaks, this 'twill have to do.

I’d like to take you now on wings of song, as it were, and try and help you forget perhaps for a while your drab, wretched lives. here’s a song all about spring-time in general, and in particula Out one of the many delightful pastimes the coming of spring affords us all.

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here. Life is skittles and life is beer. I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring. I do, don’t you? ’course you do. But there’s one thing that makes spring complete for me, And makes ev’ry sunday a treat for me.

All the world seems in tune On a spring afternoon, When we’re poisoning pigeons in the park. Ev’ry sunday you’ll see My sweetheart and me, As we poison the pigeons in the park.

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an’ hide, But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide. The sun’s shining bright, Ev’rything seems all right, When we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.

Lalaalaalalaladoodiedieedoodoodoo

We’ve gained notoriety, And caused much anxiety In the audubon society With our games. They call it impiety, And lack of propriety, And quite a variety Of unpleasant names. But it’s not against any religion To want to dispose of a pigeon.

So if sunday you’re free, Why don’t you come with me, And we’ll poison the pigeons in the park. And maybe we’ll do In a squirrel or two, While we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.

We’ll murder them all amid laughter and merriment. Except for the few we take home to experiment. My pulse will be quickenin’ With each drop of strychnine We feed to a pigeon. It just takes a smidgin! To poison a pigeon in the park.

68 posted on 01/13/2004 3:24:36 PM PST by Aliska
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To: fnord
You too will see the fnords.
69 posted on 01/13/2004 3:45:13 PM PST by T'wit (There is only one form of government: too much)
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To: Rifleman; Restorer; Only1choice____Freedom; FormerlyAnotherLurker
Up in the attic somewhere I have a bunch of old records including some very funny comedy records made by a guy from the same era as Lehrer (early '60s). He was like Rich Little and he did the voices of the politicians of the day (Kennedy, Humphrey, Nixon, Johnson, etc., to a tee. I think his name was Vaughn something..... Anyways, the guy was really, really funny.
70 posted on 01/13/2004 3:45:33 PM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: Eva
Microsoft, just announced that their PAC would be donating thousands of dollars to Patty Murray (Osama Mama).

Ha! I was never sure about Bill Gates, so I always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Turns out the guy's a scumbag. Oh well.

71 posted on 01/13/2004 3:50:09 PM PST by Lancey Howard
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To: Lancey Howard
Vaughn Meader

http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/Stage/1985/

http://www.geocities.com/Broadway/Stage/1985/
72 posted on 01/13/2004 3:51:53 PM PST by FormerlyAnotherLurker (Barrett M82A1)
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To: FormerlyAnotherLurker
OOPS!

Try:
http://galleons.net/ogr/featured_vaughn_meader.htm
73 posted on 01/13/2004 3:55:57 PM PST by FormerlyAnotherLurker (Barrett M82A1)
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To: Yehuda
When the shades of night are falling,
Comes a fellow ev’ryone knows,
It’s the old dope peddler,
Spreading joy wherever he goes.
Ev’ry evening you will find him,
Around our neighborhood.
It’s the old dope peddler
Doing well by doing good.

He gives the kids free samples,
Because he knows full well
That today’s young innocent faces
Will be tomorrow’s clientele.
Here’s a cure for all your troubles,
Here’s an end to all distress.
It’s the old dope peddler
With his powdered ha-happiness.
74 posted on 01/13/2004 4:15:44 PM PST by Alouette (Proud parent of an IDF recruit!)
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To: FormerlyAnotherLurker
Vaughn Meader

That's him.
If I still had a working turntable I'd go dig those LPs out of the attic.

75 posted on 01/13/2004 4:15:58 PM PST by Lancey Howard
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Comment #76 Removed by Moderator

To: CounterCounterCulture
We'll poison them all
Amid laughter and merriment ...
Except for the ones
We take home to experiment ...
77 posted on 01/13/2004 5:19:03 PM PST by ArrogantBustard
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To: Congressman Billybob
I have all his albums. The man was a genius at satire, sarcasm and social commentary!
78 posted on 01/13/2004 5:30:27 PM PST by SAMWolf (Amish bumper sticker: Caution! Do not step in exhaust.)
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To: A. Morgan
Yep " That Was The Week That Was"
79 posted on 01/13/2004 5:37:00 PM PST by SAMWolf (Amish bumper sticker: Caution! Do not step in exhaust.)
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To: Old Sarge
Send the Marines


When someone makes a move
Of which we don't approve
Who is it that always intervenes
U.N. and O.A.S.
They have their place, I guess
But first send the Marines

We'll send them all we've got
John Wayne and Randolph Scott
Remember those exciting fighting scenes
To the shores of Tripoli
But not to Mississippoli
What do we do, we send the Marines

For might makes right
And 'til they've seen the light
They've got to be protected
All their rights respected
Till somebody we like can be elected

Members of the corps
All hate the thought of war
They'd rather kill them off by peaceful means
Stop calling it aggression
We hate that expression
We only want the world to know
That we support the status quo
They love us everywhere we go
So when in doubt
Send the Marines

80 posted on 01/13/2004 5:41:25 PM PST by SAMWolf (Amish bumper sticker: Caution! Do not step in exhaust.)
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