Bestiality Marriage Application for San Fran Mayor

Self | Februrary 13, 2004 | Self

[Vitamin A]

Today I sent this letter to the mayor and clerk of San Francisco. It's my way of waging a humorous protest against their less-than-humorous issuance of marriage licenses to homosexual couples in defiance of state law. Please read the letter completely and carefully (the punch line is at the end).

February 13, 2004

Mayor Gavin Newsom Clerk Nancy Alfaro City Hall, Room 168 1 Dr. Carlton B. Goodlett Place San Francisco, CA 94102

Dear Mayor Newsom and Clerk Alfaro,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Corky St. Clair and I live with my companion of 15 years, Billy, in a beautiful neighborhood in Orange County zoned for equestrian uses. Yesterday tears of joy filled my eyes as I heard the news reports that you had boldly and defiantly issued marriage licenses to non-heterosexual couples. I was so moved by the Mayor’s courage in adopting a new interpretation of the state constitution which allows for non-heterosexual marriage—something that even our state supreme court has refused to do—based on “equal protection.” It’s about time we had brave leaders like Mayor Newsom who are willing to give legal effect to their personal interpretation of “equal protection,” instead of waiting for the state’s elected leaders and courts to do so!

Billy and I have been waiting for 15 years for the government to acknowledge that all loving relationships are equal and deserving of protection under law. For too long Billy and I have endured the pain of harsh stares coming from people when they see us expressing our affection for each other in public. I guess they just don’t understand that love can come in many different shapes and forms and colors and flavors, if you will. For Billy and I, our relationship may seem abnormal or even freakish to some folks (especially here in a more conservative rural-type setting!), but we know its what’s in our hearts that counts.

I am writing to ask you to send Billy and me information about how we can apply for a marriage license in San Francisco, so that our deep and loving relationship can be legally sanctioned at long last. We also respectfully request that Mayor Newsom personally perform the ceremony, as we feel that only someone as bold and brave as he can do so. Our personal information for the marriage license is as follows:

Name: Corky William St. Clair; Birthdate: Feb. 14, 1965; Birthplace: Barstow, California; Age: 39; Hair: Dirty blonde; Eyes: Hazel; Height: 5’ 11”; Weight: 175.

Billy (it’s just Billy, no last name); Birthdate: July 7, 1985; Birthplace: Barstow, California; Age: 18; Hair: Chestnut brown; Eyes: Mocha; Height: 3’ 1”; Weight: 63 lbs. By the way, Billy is a buck dairy goat, but I trust that won’t disqualify us for marriage eligibility under Mayor Newsom’s new definition of “equal protection.”

Sincerely,

Corky St. Clair

[cynicom]

Naughty naughty hehehe

[Agnes Heep]

I guess marrying a goat is okay, as long as you don't have kids.

[Constitution Day]

That is baaaad.

[NotQuiteCricket]

I guess marrying a goat is okay, as long as you don't have kids.
Groan.

[Dinsdale]

They'd say Daaaaaady.

[HenryLeeII]

It’s about time we had brave leaders like Mayor Newsom who are willing to give legal effect to their personal interpretation of “equal protection,” instead of waiting for the state’s elected leaders and courts to do so!

The humor is so subdued that it would go right over its intended target's head! BTW, best of luck to Corky and the goat, but be sure that Billy is kept out of sight when Kerry or Clinton are spotted in the area...

[Chris Talk]

Whatever you do, don't let anybody get your goat.

[EggsAckley]

Most excellent!! I was expecting a horse, but the goat was even better!! Ah, yes....."Billy" ......goat. LOL!

[DouglasKC]

Cradle robber. You're old enough to be the parent of that goat. Sicko.

[scooter2]

Now, all those guys from Montana can finally marry their sheep!

[cwb]

Let's not leave out our bi/polygamist friends, who will be applying shortly.

[highnoon]

Corky must be french....

[EdReform]

[TSgt]

Personally, I'm a Botanysexual.

Ferns really do it for me.

[Lorianne]

Swedes have more and more animal sex
Av Øyvind Ludt og Carin Pettersson 26.01.04 12:24
Animal sex is not illegal in Sweden, and every year between 200 and 300 pets are injured because of sexual assaults.


http://pub.tv2.no/nettavisen/english/article177749.ece

[Cobra64]

Since I was a little boy in the 1960s, I always had a crush on Francis, the talking mule; that was before I fell in love with Mr. Ed and couldn't get to first base with Francis.

[OldCorps]

Send a copy to those left wing commies at PETA! that should really generate some smoke.

[EdReform]

LOL! Ping!

[LisaMalia]

bump