Kerry Refuses to Release Senate Records

Scrapple Face ^

[Sub-Driver]

Kerry Refuses to Release Senate Records (2004-04-21) -- After bowing to pressure to release his Vietnam-era military records, Democrat presidential hopeful John Forbes Kerry today adamantly refused to release his U.S. Senate records.

"It's one thing to probe into a candidate's military service and medical records," said Mr. Kerry. "But frankly what I did, or did not do, in the privacy of the U.S. Senate chambers is nobody's business."

Critics are particularly interested in seeing any comprehensive health care bill that Mr. Kerry has sponsored. On the campaign trail, he been a tireless advocate of health coverage for all Americans, but in more than a decade as a Senator, no evidence has emerged that he wrote or sponsored any such legislation.

"Legislating is not the only way to create law," said Mr. Kerry. "When I'm president, I plan to issue an executive order forcing the Supreme Court to create a new civil right to comprehensive health care coverage."

[Sub-Driver]

satire........

[Bob]

satire........

Are you really sure it is? :=)

[Kate of Spice Island]

Did anything he doesn't want to disclose at the US Senate involve any cigars?

[yooper]

"It's one thing to probe into a candidate's military service and medical records," said Mr. Kerry. "But frankly what I did, or did not do, in the privacy of the U.S. Senate chambers is nobody's business."

Actually, what he did in the Senate Chambers is more the people's business than his medical and service records.

"Legislating is not the only way to create law," said Mr. Kerry. "When I'm president, I plan to issue an executive order forcing the Supreme Court to create a new civil right to comprehensive health care coverage."

Refreshing honesty from a liberal. He finally admits the liberal strategy of implementing law by executive fiat, in violation of the Constitution.

This man is not fit to be a dogcatcher, let alone President of the United States.

[yooper]

I suspected as much all along. However, if Kerry actually came out with these statements tomorrow I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

[ChevyZ28]

"Legislating is not the only way to create law," said Mr. Kerry. "When I'm president, I plan to issue an executive order forcing the Supreme Court to create a new civil right to comprehensive health care coverage."


Wouldn't this violate the Constitutionally placed separation of powers? Of course, He wouldn't care.

[jocko12]

WHO WANTS A BUNCH OF BROKEN RECORDS ANYWAY.

[wagglebee]

His lifetime rating with the American Conservative Union is a 5 (he's tied with Barney Frank), even Shrillary has an 11. That's really all I need to know about his senate record. Unless of course they keep track of extracurricular activities with interns.

[Rocky]

It doesn't matter how bizarre you make the joke, it still sounds like something he really could have said. It's hard to do effective satire with a guy like Kerry who is constantly one-upping the satirists with his actual quotes.

[CFC__VRWC]

We're going to have to start posting a "Satire Alert" with these articles about John F'ing Boo Boo - the stuff Scrappleface makes up about him sounds more realistic than his own stump speeches.