Posted on 05/17/2004 6:02:23 PM PDT by Mike Bates
It almost happened last week. Thursday brought an email from a producer for the cable network CNBC.
"Hi Mike, would you be available for a tv interview tonight with John Seigenthaler on CNBC? We're putting together a segment on this whole selective indignation/outrage in Iraq. This segment would be taped at 7:15pm. Looking forward to hearing from you."
Finally, a chance to indoctrina. . . I mean, address a large, nationwide audience. And on the same network that Maria "the Money Honey" Bartiromo appears on. Who could ask for more?
It could have been great, and perhaps marked a turning point. My track record with the electronic media hasn’t been all that terrific.
Years ago, LaGrange radio station WTAQ invited me in on alternating Friday afternoons to discuss current events and argue with that week’s designated liberal. Shortly after initiating this electrifying programming, the station was sold and went to an all-Spanish format. Just a coincidence, I thought.
Chicago’s network affiliates used to regularly air editorials. I did a few dozen replies to these and got to a point where I could sometimes keep up with the teleprompter.
The editorial director on CBS’ Channel 2 was especially gracious. Occasionally she’d call to tell me that they’d be doing a perspective on such and such and ask if I’d like to schedule a time to come in and tape a rebuttal. How she knew what side I’d take on a particular issue, I never really figured out. Still, I appreciated her thoughtfulness.
Then, for some vague reason, the local TV stations stopped airing editorials. Just another coincidence, I thought.
My last television experience was on Democratic Congressman William Lipinski’s local cable program. Mr. Lipinski was quite affable, but I don’t think he liked my questioning his ardent support for President Clinton.
Right before the taping he told me he’d invited me on to answer questions, not to ask them. You get your own TV show, he told me with a smile, and then you can ask me the questions.
I was never invited back on the congressman’s program for an encore. Yet another coincidence, I thought.
Judging by how many we see on the air, newspaper writers love to get on TV, where they can shoot their mouths off to a much wider audience. Jack Germond is a political columnist for the Baltimore Sun. In his wonderful book "Fat Man in a Middle Seat: Forty Years of Covering Politics," he explains the allure:
"Even those sporadic appearances, moreover, gave me a hint at the enormous power of television. Strangers began speaking to me at airports, and there would be an occasional call from a lecture agent recruiting me for a paid speech before some business group. Just being on television, even infrequently, was a credential as an important player you apparently could not earn by simply doing what I considered far more serious work, reporting and writing for a newspaper. It doesn’t matter what you said, it’s just getting your face on the screen."
And here I had a chance to join the other talking heads, to pontificate with the best of them, to make my mark — or smudge, depending on your viewpoint — on a national audience, to break into the big time at CNBC.
But I blew it. Didn’t read the email until late in the afternoon. I called the producer, got her voice mail, apologized for the delay in responding, and left my phone number.
She didn’t call back. I calculate the odds of hearing from her again at slightly worse than those of John Kerry patronizing Fantastic Sams for his tonsorial needs.
So that evening, John Seigenthaler had to rough it without the benefit of my sagacious insights. He made do with the likes of Tim Russert and Sam Donaldson. Like they know what they’re talking about.
Perhaps fate has decided I’m not suited for the big time. Just to be safe, though, I’m keeping a light blue shirt and red tie handy. One never knows when opportunity may again knock on one’s inbox.
I still want your autograph.
WTAQ - wasn't that the polka music station back in the early 60s?
Oh, OK. But it's gonna cost ya.
Don't know. I was listening to Gerry and the Pacemakers back then. The time I'm familiar with the station had an Irish program that ran for several hours on Saturday, so I wouldn't be surprised if other ethnic shows were part of the programming.
Don't feel too bad. Being on CNBC really only counts as your 32 seconds of fame anyway.
Ah, the Irish hour. My parents used to torture my sister and me with it on Saturday morning after many a long Friday night of doing the Western Avenue Stroll. My head hurts with the memory. There was a Korean program on after that.
Torture? Torture? Faith and begorrah! And you probably were deservin' of it after that time on Western Avenue.
Thanks for the guidance. Next time, I'll check out the network's ratings before making a commitment.
I agree whole heartedly. My dad had other hangover tricks as well. We would have to clean chickens for dinner or cook breakfasts that involved lots of eggs. Since our family is big (9 kids) that was no easy feat. Just imagine cracking open a couple of dozen raw eggs when you're suffering from the heebie jeebies from drink.
BTW, I hope you do get a spot on tv someday. I enjoy your writing. It would a "local boy hits the big time" kind of thing.
Thanks for the wishes. At this stage, though, the story would be local geezer makes good.
My dad is wise. I appreciate him much more now than I did when I was younger. He has a very humorous way of looking at things.
You're probably not as geezer-ish as you think.
My husband is 44 and still plays basketball on a few local leagues. He then visits the sponsoring bars, one on 95th and another on 111th. I call his team the "Fossils". "Geezers" would be a good name too.
Oh, yeah? I'm such a geezer that when I go to a restaurant they make me pay before the meal.
I worked with a guy who looked exactly like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. His age was a mystery. (We should have sawed him in half to count the rings.) He was as rich as Midas, too.
Needless to say, he married this hot little 30 something number from the sales department. That lasted a year. After that, he was dating a COLLEGE girl!
I wanted to ask what kind of vitamins he was taking, but he grossed me out too much to be involved in his personal life.
I'm sure it's his sparkling personality, incisive wit and genuine warmth - not his bucks - that attract those sweet young things.
John F'n Kerry is a little more charming and witty than this Mr. Burns Geezoid.
I see where Botox Boy met up with Ralph Nader yesterday, probably seeking some charisma lessons.
They looked like a pair of cadavers dressed up like funeral directors, didn't they? They were probably negotiating who gets to sleep in the top bunk of the coffin.
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