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Doug from Upland has been reported to the Secret Service!
phone conversations with the USSS | 6-15-04 | dfu

Posted on 06/15/2004 11:11:49 AM PDT by doug from upland

Yes, ladies and gentlemen it was the conversation that all political junkies dread. It was the conversation with the United States Secret Service.

Doug from Upland was reported yesterday to the Secret Service. What could Doug have done? Who turned him in? Is harmless Doug a threat to anyone? Has he ever harmed anyone? This would be so out of character. This is a guy who delivers Meals on Wheels to the elderly and reads to the Kindergarteners for his Kiwanis group. He opens doors for ladies, doesn't eat meat, and has helped save several lost pets. Are we speaking of the same Doug?

Here is the background. On THIS THREAD was a sentence that read: Former President Bill Clinton's official portrait is to be unveiled and hung in the White House in a ceremony Monday, according to Smithsonian officials and a close Clinton friend.

I made the following flippant commennt:

Leave out " 's official portrait" in the first line and we have a good sentence. All right, I guess I should have known better than to give the lefties any potential ammo. I guess they must spend a lot of time on FR.

Five FReepers sent me FReepmail to alert me that some kind of rodents who inhabit the underworld somewhere got their panties in a wad. Fortunately, they only got them in a wad. They weren't the victims of a horrific war crime in which they were forced to wear them on their heads. Apparently, some on the Lunatic Left believe that they finally had something. I am told that they are still angry for the publishing on FR of the names listed on the A.N.S.W.E.R. website of those America-hating lefties and communists. I dared to give my opinion that they were enemies of America while we are engaged in the War on Terror. How could I have possibly thought I had the right to do that? Afer all, the First Amendment is only for the benefit of the leftists. Right? Another FReeper told me that some are still angry that a lunatic teacher had his interview cancelled with Aaron Brown and that somehow I was responsible. :)

Well, enough was enough. Someone had to turn in Doug from Upland for that outrageous comment about the impeached serial sexual predator and disgraced ex-president who defiled the White House and took 900K from Bernie Schwartz, allowing Bernie to avoid prosecution for selling missile technology to the ChiComs that now enables their missiles to hit any U.S. city, hitting racial minorities, gays, women, the elderly, and children hardest. (Raise your hand if you sometimes love run on sentences.)

Who did it? Who turned Doug in? Why, Doug from Upland did it. Yes, really.

The first call was to the SS office in D.C. I spoke with an agent who investigates threats, gave her my information, gave her the link, and read what I wrote. The agent said, "That's it? That's it? Has someone complained about that? Are you a threat?"

I told the agent that I was not a threat, didn't know if someone had phoned, but I wanted to save them some time if they received complaints. After all, we are speaking here about the lunatic left. The USSS needs to spend their time protecting our current commander in chief rather than chasing complaints of the whackjobs. It saved them time having to find the site, find the post, contact JimRob to get info about me, etc.

The agent was surprised that I then asked for the field agent in Los Angeles. I told her that, since it was in my area, I wanted to alert them also. She appreciated the fact that I made the call to her.

In Los Angeles, I reached a male agent and went through the same scenario. He thought the comment was "innocuous" and was quite surprised that someone would want to waste their time with this. He realized that I was no threat.

I am not certain, but I think the agent might have enjoyed my anecdote about how I went to the White House for a weekend in 1998 to present an eviction notice to the Clintons. Because I couldn't serve it on them, I had fun and entertained a small crowd by parading with a poster sized eviction notice. I was turned in to the Secret Service for that episode. For those who don't know the background, I told a talk radio show in the Los Angeles area of the plans to present the eviction notice. It obviously would not be able to be served, so the plan was to "blow it up to poster size" and carry it in front of the White House. A nitwit leftist who heard the talk show thought that was some kind of threat actually told the Secret Service that there was a plot to blow up the White House. A field agent from Los Angeles made the station owners come in to the station and play the tape from that phone call to determine that there was no threat. What a monumental waste of resources. When I heard about the report, I phoned the field office in Los Angeles. They realized it was no threat, just a Clinton KoolAide drinker upset at someone mocking the disgraced president.

That was an enjoyable weekend adventure in D.C. sharing Clinton anecdotes with the crowd. That was before the days when we really knew what a FReep was. It was before the days of the famous WH chant in which the D.C. FReepers told Clinton to step away from the intern and come out with his pants up. In this hectic and busy weekend, I was fortunate to have a FReeper show me around town. I made the trip to the Starbucks where Katy Mahoney had worked, to Ft. Marcy Park where Vince's body was dumped (no, I don't believe he was murdered, just that his body was moved), the Watergate hotel where they denied my request to do an FR interview with Monica Lewinsky, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Monument, the Vietnam Memorial, and a White House tour. At the end of the tour, I actually got a smile and small laugh from a Secret Service agent as we left. Somewhere, I have a photo of him smiling over the comment I made about secret Clinton evidence in his official cool Secret Service logo briefcase. I really wanted one of those briefcases but they could not sell me one.

Oh, yes. Back to the field agent in Los Angeles. We ended our friendly conversation with him telling me that I shouldn't expect to be hearing back from them. I suppose he believes that an innocuous comment about a disgraced and impeached ex-president is not nearly as important as focusing resources on protecting our current outstanding commander in chief.

Whew. That was close. How does Doug from Upland get away with this stuff?


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: clinton; confirmedinsanity; dfu; lunatic; straightjackettyping; usss; wackjob; waltermitty; whackjoblefties; writingin3rdperson
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To: doug from upland; MeekOneGOP; devolve; Mia T; JohnHuang2; dennisw; SJackson; potlatch; FBD; ...
A little change of pace (back to the REAL WORLD) for some of you FReepers out there . .

"Oh, yes. Back to the field agent in Los Angeles. We ended our friendly conversation with him telling me that I shouldn't expect to be hearing back from them. I suppose he believes that an innocuous comment about a disgraced and impeached ex-president is not nearly as important as focusing resources on protecting our current outstanding commander in chief."


181 posted on 06/16/2004 5:22:50 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (Ronald Reagan to Islamic Terrorism: YOU CAN RUN - BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!)
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To: doug from upland; MeekOneGOP

Doug - you handled yourself like a true American - stood your ground while knowing your Constitutional Freedom of Speech rights - and we are proud of you!


182 posted on 06/16/2004 5:24:49 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (Ronald Reagan to Islamic Terrorism: YOU CAN RUN - BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!)
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To: doug from upland; Mia T; MeekOneGOP; devolve; JohnHuang2
Great material for a Bill Clinton "talking head" speech . .

"Well, enough was enough. Someone had to turn in Doug from Upland for that outrageous comment about the impeached serial sexual predator and disgraced ex-president who defiled the White House and took 900K from Bernie Schwartz, allowing Bernie to avoid prosecution for selling missile technology to the ChiComs that now enables their missiles to hit any U.S. city, hitting racial minorities, gays, women, the elderly, and children hardest. (Raise your hand if you sometimes love run on sentences.)"


183 posted on 06/16/2004 5:30:54 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (Ronald Reagan to Islamic Terrorism: YOU CAN RUN - BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!)
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To: doug from upland; Mia T; MeekOneGOP; devolve; Sabertooth
THAT'S IT! I'm calling the 3-Letter people right now - you - YOU DOUG FROM UPLAND - you - YOU - FREEPER REPUBLICAN HATE MONGER!!

"That was before the days when we really knew what a FReep was. It was before the days of the famous WH chant in which the D.C. FReepers told Clinton to "STEP AWAY FROM THE INTERN AND COME OUT WITH YOUR PANTS UP."

184 posted on 06/16/2004 5:37:26 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (Ronald Reagan to Islamic Terrorism: YOU CAN RUN - BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!)
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To: ladyinred
"They only word they can spell correctly starts with F."

Hillary's favorite word. Bill's too . . John F***ing Kerry's too! Is this all a coincidence?

185 posted on 06/16/2004 5:39:44 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (Ronald Reagan to Islamic Terrorism: YOU CAN RUN - BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!)
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To: doug from upland

God bless you my friend.


186 posted on 06/16/2004 5:51:38 AM PDT by stevio
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To: Happy2BMe; doug from upland
LOL !

187 posted on 06/16/2004 6:22:46 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (Call me the Will Rogers voter: I never met a Democrat I didn't like - to vote OUT OF POWER !)
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To: NotJustAnotherPrettyFace

Thank you so much for sharing that info from the SS agent and the great respect they had for the Gipper.


188 posted on 06/16/2004 6:53:29 AM PDT by doug from upland (Don't wait until it is too late to stop Hillary -- do something today!)
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To: kcvl

It bet it makes them feel "important". John Sellers feels he is "affecting" history. Of course, he could just go get a real job; but then.. wah, he'd feel bad about himself; given the "ruckus" view of average working Americans. Oh, poor elitists -- all that fire, and claiming to be for the "working man"; but despising and hating the "working man". Angst driven movement; driven principally be cognitive dissonance in its supporters and leaders..


189 posted on 06/16/2004 7:06:14 AM PDT by Alia (California -- It's Groovy! Baby!)
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To: Happy2BMe
Memories of a weekend trip to D.C. ---

THIRTY-DAY NOTICE TO VACATE
(EVICTION NOTICE)

WASHINGTON, D.C.

DATE: February 28, 1998

PROPERTY: A residence and business offices located at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

LESSOR: The people of the United State of America

LESSEE: William Jefferson Blythe Clinton, Hillary Rotten Clinton and all others in possession

NOTICE: You are the Lessee of that certain real property which is above referenced pursuant to an agreement which took effect on January 20, 1993. Notice is hereby given that you are to VACATE THE PREMISES on or before March 28, 1998.

You are required to remove all of your personal possessions. Should you not remove such possessions, any which remain that have a value exceeding $300 will be sold after proper notice at a public sale.

You are required to leave the premises clean, to completely fumigate the premises and to repair any damage. You will be charged for any stench which is left behind at a rate which is to be determined by bid from three reputable fumigation professionals.

Should you not leave on or before the time which is above specified, federal marshals will enter the premises, physically remove you and take you into custody. You will be charged with felony trespass and held without bail.

VIOLATIONS OF LEASE AGREEMENT: Sex parties, illegal drug use, lying, perversion, bribery, obstruction of justice, intimidation of witnesses, suborning perjury, theft of government property, selling out the United States, destruction of the military, compromising national security, destruction of evidence, failure to surrender documents under subpoena, staining the carpeting and drapes, dishonoring the People's House and entertaining such guests as Chinese arms dealers, convicted cocaine felons, union thugs, Russian Mafia and the Hollywood leftist elite crowd. The neighbors have been complaining for five years and you have substantially harmed the property value. WE WILL NEVER LEASE TO YOU AGAIN! YOU HAVE BOTH BEEN IN POSSESSION OF THE WHITE HOUSE FOR FIVE YEARS TOO LONG. NOW GET THE HELL OUT!

Signed, ___________________________________________________________ James Robinson, on behalf of the people of the United States of America

(Document prepared by Doug from Upland. See him when you need to evict a corrupt scumbag politician.)

190 posted on 06/16/2004 7:23:18 AM PDT by doug from upland (Don't wait until it is too late to stop Hillary -- do something today!)
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To: doug from upland; MeekOneGOP; devolve
LESSOR: The people of the United State of America.

That would be thee and me.

Now all we need is a new notice to J-FK that communist sympathisers ARE NOT WELCOME at the White House.

(BTW, Doug, that Thirty-Day Notice to Vacate is now considered a national treasure!)

What a classic.

Oh - I'm still gonna tell the feds about all this . .

191 posted on 06/16/2004 7:32:10 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (Ronald Reagan to Islamic Terrorism: YOU CAN RUN - BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!)
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To: doug from upland

Taxman Bravo Zulu!

I also believe that life in an Alcatraz cell (unrenovated, of course!) would be an appropriate sentence for Slick and Schlick!


192 posted on 06/16/2004 7:58:28 AM PDT by Taxman (So that the beautiful pressure does not diminish!)
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To: Happy2BMe

With all the hate that the left spews toward Bush these days, I wonder if the SS talks to those people?


193 posted on 06/16/2004 8:50:21 AM PDT by MarkeyD (<a href="http://www.johnkerry.com/about/">Three Paper Cuts and I'm Out</a>)
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To: MarkeyD
"With all the hate that the left spews toward Bush these days, I wonder if the SS talks to those people?"

Good question.

The Mind of A Kerry Supporter Revealed

194 posted on 06/16/2004 8:52:35 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (Ronald Reagan to Islamic Terrorism: YOU CAN RUN - BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!)
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To: doug from upland

You don't eat meat?


195 posted on 06/16/2004 8:54:17 AM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: doug from upland
You should have turned me in too. I believe I said something witty like

"I heard the Clintons were going to be officially hung today and tuned in. You can imagine my disappointment."

Por mi culpa, por mi culpa, por mi gran culpa......

196 posted on 06/16/2004 9:05:38 AM PDT by hispanarepublicana (Free Brigette Bardot.)
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To: MeekOneGOP
LOL!!  !

That is just scandalous!

197 posted on 06/16/2004 10:17:24 AM PDT by Salem (FREE REPUBLIC - Fighting to win within the Arena of the War of Ideas! So get in the fight!)
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To: doug from upland
LOL!!  !

You are such a pill—to a Dem that is.

198 posted on 06/16/2004 10:23:40 AM PDT by Salem (FREE REPUBLIC - Fighting to win within the Arena of the War of Ideas! So get in the fight!)
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To: Lancey Howard
re: meat

Nope. I occasionally eat fish, but no meat or fowl since Although I may be off the reservation on this, I really believe that we should be in the forefront of the technology for alternative fuel vehicles.

199 posted on 06/16/2004 10:36:55 AM PDT by doug from upland (Don't wait until it is too late to stop Hillary -- do something today!)
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To: doug from upland; Dr. Zoo; Jim Robinson
What, you never got a call for the presentation of your "awards" at the (in)famous Brunch in Feb '01?

I was going to post a link, but don't want you to have to make another call...

200 posted on 06/16/2004 10:43:17 AM PDT by Syncro
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