Abortionist Jokes And Quacks

The Illinois Leader ^ | Tuesday, June 15, 2004 | Jill Stanek

[Warhammer]

STANEK: Abortionist jokes and quacks

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

By Jill Stanek (Jill@illinoisleader.com)

"I know I'm not Marcus Welby," quipped Arizona abortionist Brian Finkel when he was convicted earlier this year on 22 counts of sexual abuse of patients. [Photo and quote courtesy of The Arizona Republic.] OPINION --

Q: What’s the difference between an abortionist and a catfish?

A: One’s an ugly, smelly, garbage eating bottom feeder, and the other one’s a fish.

Although abortion was legitimized in 1973, the reputation of abortionists was not.

For this and other reasons, the number of abortionists in America is in rapid decline, just one of many headaches facing pro-aborts in 2004.

The Alan Guttmacher Institute, research arm of the abortion industry, reported last year the number of U.S. abortionists was at its lowest level in three decades, shrinking by 37 percent from its heyday in 1982, when the number of abortionists peaked at 2,908, to 1,819 in 2000.

Webmd.com quoted AGI researchers Stanley Henshaw, PhD, and Lawrence Finer, PhD, as noting the abortion rate decline "pretty much matches the decline in the number of abortion providers," with Finer concluding, "It’s difficult to say which causes which."

Oh, please. Acquiescing to “the chicken or the egg” debate doesn't apply here, since the egg in this case has been chopped up and thrown in a dumpster. Finer’s inanity makes me wonder if abortionists accidentally suction the brains out of their own people every now and then instead of partially delivered babies.

Pro-aborts, of course, cite reasons for the demise of cannibal doctors other than that they have killed off their own replacements. These are:

# Picketing of offices and homes # Professional isolation # Hostile political environment # Decline in abortion at hospitals, due to hospital mergers/stigma # Lack of enthusiasm to teach the procedure at medical schools # Difficulty establishing abortion clinics in communities # Abortion clinic regulations

"The passage of Roe v. Wade did not erase a medical history in which ‘abortionist’ was an insult worse than ‘quack’," understood the New York Times Magazine in 1998.

Time for another joke.

Q: What is the difference between Elvis and a smart abortionist?

A: Elvis has been sighted.

Pro-lifers often fret our work is unsynchronized. But the aforementioned list demonstrates that the combined efforts of pro-life legislators, activists, business owners, peers, and regulations are contributing to the drop in abortionists.

“Fear of violence” was also cited as a reason abortionists are bailing, a gross exaggeration that has boomeranged. Truth doesn't match hype, but if fear now keeps doctors from becoming abortionists, that’s their problem, not ours.

Of course, pro-lifers reject violence, just as Martin Luther King, Jr., rejected the Black Panthers faction of the civil rights movement. Social justice movements must always deal with both the lunatic and pacifist fringes.

In reality, it is abortionists whom we should fear, not vice versa. Talk about scandal cover-ups. This is a sick and violent bunch, as would be clear if the pro-abortion press reported honestly. The list of abortionist scums of the earth you haven’t heard about is long. Here is a small sampling:

# New York abortionist Allan Zarkin, dubbed "Dr. Zorro," who settled out of court for carving his initials into the abdomen of a c-section patient in 2000 because, as witnesses testified he said, "I did such a beautiful job, I'll initial it."

# Abortionist Ralph Robinson, who has botched abortions around the country. His license was restricted in Missouri (1988) and Kentucky (1988), suspended in Ohio (1989), surrendered in California (1991), and he was disciplined in Washington, D., C. (1990) and Virginia (1991). In 1991, in Tennessee, an aborting patient was rushed to Erlanger Hospital ER to repair a ruptured uterus, lacerated intestines, and massive bleeding. Surgeons removed the scalped head of her baby from her abdomen. In 1992, also in Tennessee, he suctioned an aborting patient’s right ureter out of her body. Robinson was found judgment-proof due to his lack of malpractice insurance and the transfer of any substantial assets out of his name.

# New York abortionist Stephen Pack, who was convicted in 2001 for attempting to involuntarily abort his mistress by repeatedly stabbing her in the leg with a syringe filled with an abortifacient drug, in plain view, near a hospital parking garage.

# Arizona abortionist Brian Finkel, who was convicted earlier this year of 22 counts of sexual abuse of patients.

# Abortionist Ronald Tauber, who, after his Florida medical license was suspended following the death of a patient in 1978, moved to Michigan. There he was convicted in 1982 of criminal sexual assault and criminal sexual misconduct after kidnapping and raping a six-year-old girl. He admitted to exposing himself to more than 700 women and young girls. After Tauber’s parole ended in 1991, he was licensed to practice medicine in New York State and California.

# New York abortionist Alan Kline, who botched the abortion of a 13-year-old girl at the Eastern Women's Center in January 1985. The girl awoke five minutes into the procedure and began to vomit and choke. Kline put a breathing tube into her throat and failed to remove the remainder of the baby. Kline left the girl unattended in the recovery room, where she suffered a heart attack, slipped into a coma, and later died. When a judge asked Kline if he had noticed his patient's young age, he responded, "Oh, no. I've done 13-year-olds before. When they're 10, maybe I'll notice."

Pro-aborts don’t mention an additional reason the number of abortionists is waning: They’re in prison.

Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with an abortionist?

A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won’t do.

© 2004 Illinois Leader.com -- all rights reserved

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*All jokes taken from the Life Dynamics brochure, Quack the Ripper, News from the Red-Light District of Medicine

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What are your thoughts concerning the issues raised in this commentary? Write a letter to the editor at letters@illinoisleader.com, and include your name and town.

Jill Stanek Jill Stanek became a leader in the Illinois conservative movement when she fought to stop "live birth abortion" after witnessing one as an RN at Christ Hospital in Oak Lawn. In August 2002, President Bush asked Jill to his signing of the Born Alive Infants Protection Act. In January 2003, World Magazine named Jill one of the 30 most prominent pro-life leaders of the past 30 years. In November 2003, the White House invited Jill to President Bush's signing of the Partial Birth Abortion Ban. Jill continues to press for Illinois to become a state where unborn and newly born babies are safe. Jill is also pro-life coordinator for Concerned Women for America of Illinois and a public speaker around the country.

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[Warhammer]

Pro-Life Ping!

[Iron Matron]

"I know I'm not Marcus Welby," quipped Arizona abortionist Brian Finkel when he was convicted earlier this year on 22 counts of sexual abuse of patients

So, what'd these women say "I was sexually abused while murdering my unborn child" ? Murderers and assistant murdrers (ie abortionists), there is no place for either in civilized society.

[susiek]

I have heard doctors say that although they personally consider abortion to be just a standard medical procedure, they don't want to be involved in performing them because the pro-abortion forces are so militant. Basically, the doctor fears being identified with angry feminists who insist that abortion is the best option, not a last resort. I haven't heard any doctors say they are afraid of pro-life protesters, although I'm sure no doctor would want to be a target for those who cross the line and advocate murdering the abortion providers. These aren't pro-life doctors that are turned off by the tone of abortion "rights" groups, these are people who are able to look at an unborn child and insist it's ok to kill that child through medicine, and even they think the women's groups are nuts.

[M. Peach]

Whoa - that list of abortionists in jail makes one realize the type of people we are dealing with here.

[Skooz]

Bookmarked.

Truth is waaayyyy stranger than fiction.

[sgtbono2002]

Any person who murders babies for any reason other than to save the mothers isnt expected to have much class, but when I read of the ones listed here, maybe women who used to use coat hangers are just as well off. Seems the abortionists are the dregs of medical schools and society.

[tom h]

"Whoa - that list of abortionists in jail makes one realize the type of people we are dealing with here."

You are right but follow your reasoning a bit further:

* Abortionists know they are ending a life

* They do it by suctioning the life out of its mother's womb, or by dismembering it in the womb, or by partial-birth-abortion techniques, which I don't have the stomach to describe.

* They do it for profit and for an upper-class lifestyle.

They are no different than the Nazis who executed Jews during the Holocaust. Those Germans, too, were able to cite the fact that what they were doing was authorized by higher authority, was legal under German law (e.g., a "constitutional right"), and was done according to accepted practices.

Just remember that one famous Nazi, I think it was Goebbels, was invited to Auschwitz to watch one of the "gassings" of Jews through the conveniently-provided windows into the gas chamber. He vomited involuntarily. You see, in spite of his politics and polemics, he knew it was murder, and he couldn't stop the involuntary response to something so inhumane.

That's why the perspective of former nurses like Jill Stayer is so important to the debate.

[Mr. Silverback]

Bright side: Fewer of them every day. BTW, the first joke in this article is worth the price of admission.

ProLife Ping!

If anyone wants on or off my ProLife Ping List, please notify me here or by freepmail.

[Desdemona]

Their numbers are declining and their acceptance never materialized...prayers are being answered whether we know it or not.

[miltonim]

bump

[cpforlife.org]

Please let me know if you want on or off my Pro-Life Ping List.

[fatima]

sgtbono2002,A girl does not murder her baby-God rest it's soul ,an abortionist does.I met a man who's sister died with a coat hanger.He had pics and stood outside of where they do abortions.

[lainde]

bttt

[HiTech RedNeck]

# New York abortionist Allan Zarkin, dubbed "Dr. Zorro," who settled out of court for carving his initials into the abdomen of a c-section patient in 2000 because, as witnesses testified he said, "I did such a beautiful job, I'll initial it."

Well at least Dr. Zorro let the baby live that time.

[F.J. Mitchell]

Kinda gives back alley abortions an aura of compassion and proffesionalism by comparison, doesn't it?

[F.J. Mitchell]

What's the difference between an abortionist and a butcher?
Butchers slaughter in a humane manner.

[Askel5]

Unfortunately -- between the push to REQUIRE training in abortion procedures at med schools and the push to REQUIRE hospitals allow abortions on site, I think we're just seeing a shift of sorts where the profile of the "primary care physician" for "Women's Health" is concerned.