Posted on 07/06/2004 4:00:03 AM PDT by familyop
July 12 issue - When groups of women get together, especially if they're mothers and have been married for more than six or seven years, and especially if there's alcohol involved, the conversation is usually the same. They talk about the kids and work—how stressed they are, how busy and bone tired. They gripe about their husbands and, if they're being perfectly honest and the wine kicks in, they talk about the disappointments in their marriages. Not long ago, over lunch in Los Angeles, this conversation took a surprising turn, when Erin, who is in her early 40s and has been married for more than a decade, spilled it. She was seeing someone else. Actually, more than one person. It started with an old friend, whom she began meeting every several months for long dinners and some heavy petting. Then she began giving herself permission to flirt with, kiss—well, actually, make out with—men she met on business trips. She understands it's a "Clintonian" distinction, but she won't have sex with anyone except her husband, whom she loves. But she also loves the unexpected thrill of meeting someone new. "Do you remember?" She pauses. "I don't know how long you've been married, but do you remember the kiss that would just launch a thousand kisses?"
(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...
A very good friend of mine was having an affair. She didn't say a word about it to me. I guess she knew what I would have said and didn't want to have to deal with it.
You obviously didn't grow up in a military town. I did. When the soldiers went down range, the bars and nightclubs would fill up with young seeking military wives, a good many of whom were young mothers. There is nothing new or revealing in this article.
To put it mildly.
I don't understand how people can say, "it doesn't mean anything." Of course it does. And they would pitch a fit if it was done to them.
But having done it the only reason I can find that she would confess is the same reason that she did it in the first place. It is still all about her. Otherwise she would not have given him this to carry.
Hey, my husband won't let me smoke in the house! LOL! Sometimes he comes home with the most AMAZING "horrible wife" stories. I think it reassures him that I get so outraged.
We were at a picnic recently with my husband's boss and the boss's wife. The wife is, apparently, wacky and the boss is happy to work LONG hours (and he IS working, he isn't playing around). We had never met her before, and I swear, if she mentioned "our" husband's long hours once, she mentioned it 20 times.
I, nicely, did not contradict her. My husband curtailed his hours long ago. He actually likes his family. :)
Jim, that's actually ok, because these women who'll see married men behind their wive's backs aren't going to be much more faithful in their own marriages. This situation is actually comprised of cheaters and cheaters. It's a match made...well, it's made anyway.
...good women writers like the one who wrote this book, which whole text is online? Yes, Helen Kendrick Johnson (not to be confused with the feminist maintainer of the site it her work is reproduced on) is certainly one of many who told the truth that Susan B. Anthony and her friends only tried to disrupt the anti-slavery, temperance and war nurse movements. ...another feminazi myth, destroyed. Feminists only reprint her good work to ridicule it.
http://womenshistory.about.com/library/etext/bl_watr_1.htm
"Woman and the Republic
A Survey of the Woman Suffrage Movement in the United States and a Discussion of the Claims and Arguments of Its Foremost Advocates
by Helen Kendrick Johnson
A New and Enlarged Edition
With an Index
Published by
The Guidon Club
Opposed to Woman Suffrage
New York
1913
Copyright, 1897.
By D. APPLETON AND COMPANY.
Copyright, 1909.
By HELEN KENDRICK JOHNSON."
Well said. It also takes into account the differences between people. Banjoguy's post left me with the impression that being faithful is easy for him, and it truly is easy for some. Others, like myself, are natural dogs, and remain faithful only through sheer force of will and self-denial.
My wife has told me on several occasions that she's hesitant to do a lot of socializing among other women for this very reason: It's so often just a session to bash husbands. Fortunately, she's also told them that she has no interest in such a conversation, that maybe they all feel that way, but she's thankful for her husband and marriage. :-)
MM
That's called the "He needed killin'" defense. It was invented in Texas.
How true... and of course the opposite of that sentence, and what women like that really believe, is that they can do anything, while we men, on the hand, can't do anything right. Just simply more male bashing, articles such as this. Feminists are a blight upon all women, and geeze they sure spend time busting many a man's b*lls.
"That's called the "He needed killin'" defense. It was invented in Texas."
LOL. I live in Texas, so that's how I knew.
Very well said.
FYI, Newsweek is the only western magazine sold in the official Communist Party Bookstore in Vientiane, Laos. At least as of two years ago.
Bravo! Being clear on your convictions -- is insurance against getting dragged into bad personal stuff, isn't it! :)
Have you and TheOtherHarry met? You're looking for men who think, he's looking for women who think...
If they were really perfectly honest, they'd talk about how their slutty past behavior has hurt their ability to form a true emotional bond with their husbands.
1. Men and women in happy marriages often work out compromises. It is entirely conceivable man is smoking in garage to please wifey; in return wifey is picking up hubby's laundry or somesuch.
2. Some women are mean. Just mean, nasty dictorial persons. Men who remain in these relationships come out quite battered. I surmise this is the issue you are referring to.
3. In marriage, we give of our intimate selves. We give fully to our beloveds. Some spouses take advantage of it. In these times, legally (and socially)- man takes advantage -- courts say BAD! But woman taking advantage -- courts say GOOD. But meanwhile our courts say MEN AND WOMEN ARE EQUAL! Our legal system in re marriage and family law is so screwed up...
Being faithful is a concious decision that one makes, concomitant with the marriage vow of commitment and contract...so happens I meant every word of it. 'Easy' has nothing to do with it.
Having an affair or even setting up liasons requires energy, guile, and intention. Then one would need to deal with the guilt, and the necessary lies that follow the decision to to do it.
I think it more fruitful and ethical to direct all that energy to the nurturing of the long term relationship, with the results being an astonishing amount of shared love and spiritual bond.
If you know any in the Atlanta area, send them my way--just so long as they can hold their own in a debate, aren't terribly poor winners, and don't resort to emotional blackmail when losing. ;)
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