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Coffee 'Can Make The Mind Go Blank'
The Telegraph (UK) ^ | 7-20-2004 | Nic Fleming

Posted on 07/19/2004 8:18:05 PM PDT by blam

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To: flashbunny

Yes, we need a Caffeine Enforcement Agency.

BLAM BLAM BLAM (sounds of door being kicked in)

"You there! Drop the beans!" (sounds of weapons being cocked)

"Sergeant! Take some men and sledgehammers. Start bashing the sheetrock. I'm SURE they're hiding cappuccino in the walls! Rotten coffee-heads'll do anything... pushing their junk on schoolkids and nuns..."

"Sir! I found a bathtub espresso operation! We've got these bastards now!"

"Good. Call for trucks to haul their stuff off, and notify the banks to seize their accounts. We're gonna seize all their assets! What a beautiful day."


61 posted on 07/20/2004 6:07:23 AM PDT by The Libertarian Dude (Patrick Henry didn't say "Give me liberty or make me give a urine sample" - Mojo Nixon)
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To: Darksheare

Ya got to Irish it up!!!

Makes me clear think at workipooh.....


62 posted on 07/20/2004 6:51:56 AM PDT by Eaker (R.I.P Phudd 28-Jun-04)
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To: blam

I....um..... What I was..... um.... you see I.... uhhhhh..... welll........ ummmmmm......what.......um......


63 posted on 07/20/2004 6:53:44 AM PDT by Lazamataz ("Stay well - Stay safe - Stay armed - Yorktown" -- harpseal)
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To: blam

One day at work I didn't have my coffee and the telephone rang and I answered the soldering iron.


64 posted on 07/20/2004 6:57:28 AM PDT by N. Theknow (Kennedy family legacy - can't skipper a boat, can't fly, can't drive, can't ski)
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To: Lazamataz; Eaker; humblegunner; thackney; MacDorcha; SAMWolf; The Mayor; Professional Engineer; ...
I....um..... What I was..... um.... you see I.... uhhhhh..... welll........ ummmmmm......what.......um...... whats it say if i drink maybe 4 cups of coffee a week... and im still like that?
65 posted on 07/20/2004 7:01:07 AM PDT by MacDorcha
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To: blam

As I sip my morning coffee..I am thinking....oops my mind went blank....nevermind


66 posted on 07/20/2004 7:03:00 AM PDT by Psycho_Runner (I became a conservative only after I got Sober)
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To: Eaker

As well as speak insanely fast, carry extremely heavy objects, and accomplish tasks quicker..
Thinking clearly while under the influence of coffee... haven't seen proof of that with my stuff.


67 posted on 07/20/2004 7:05:16 AM PDT by Darksheare (Show compassion, club a baby troll today!)
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To: blam

For me it's the reverse --- all that happens to me if I don't have coffee.


68 posted on 07/20/2004 7:06:37 AM PDT by FITZ
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To: Amelia
Better switch to decaf.

Decaf? Isn't that sort of like going to Las Vegas when it's closed? ;-)

69 posted on 07/20/2004 8:16:53 AM PDT by Scenic Sounds (Sí, estamos libres sonreír otra vez - ahora y siempre.)
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To: blam

XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX SUN JULY 11, 2004 09:44:08 ET XXXXX

TIME MAG INVESTIGATION REVEALS: EDWARDS LOVES 'DIET COKE'

The nation's top magazine leads the journalism pack on Monday with an in-depth investigation on the background of Dem VP pick John Edwards.

TIME magazine's Karen Tumulty has learned: John Edwards drinks Diet Coke -- a lot of Diet Coke!

TIME unearths: "The North Carolinian who would be a caffeine-and-sodium-buzzed heartbeat away from the presidency subsequently admitted that 'on a good day' he has been known to open four before noon, at which point Kerry pronounced himself stunned, seized the can from Edwards and started reading the nutrition label aloud. 'Sodium, 2%. Protein, John, zero,' he called as Edwards scrambled for the door. As for himself, Kerry owned up: 'When I drink Coke, I have to drink the real thing, because of the sugar in it.'"

Not to be outdone by at least nine joint interviews Kerry and Edwards have conducted in the past few days with newspapers, news services and magazines, all embargoed for a Sunday release that would coincide with the pair's appearance on 60 MINUTES, editors at TIME snag the quote of the week:

"This man drinks a lot of Diet Coke," Kerry whispers to TIME, in its cover story set for maximum Monday impact.

Developing...


70 posted on 07/20/2004 12:25:44 PM PDT by adam_az (Call your State Republican Party office and VOLUNTEER!!!!)
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To: blam

This explains the last 30 years of my life...


71 posted on 07/20/2004 12:26:56 PM PDT by HitmanLV (I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.)
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To: blam

I have only one thing to say about this, but I forgot what it was. Oh well another quad expresso I guess.


72 posted on 07/20/2004 12:29:02 PM PDT by TXBSAFH (Power corrupts..... Absolute power can be fun.)
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To: Scenic Sounds
Decaf? Isn't that sort of like going to Las Vegas when it's closed? ;-)

Vegas never closes.

And you've obviously forgotten what you were supposed to tell me, thereby proving my point. ;-)

73 posted on 07/20/2004 3:37:34 PM PDT by Amelia
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To: Amelia
And you've obviously forgotten what you were supposed to tell me, thereby proving my point. ;-)

Oh, I know now what I meant to say.

Decaf?

Isn't that sort of like going on a honeymoon when . . .

Oh, damn! Never mind - I'm sure I'll remember it soon enough. ;-)

74 posted on 07/20/2004 4:58:53 PM PDT by Scenic Sounds (Sí, estamos libres sonreír otra vez - ahora y siempre.)
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To: Indy Pendance

This thread sounds familiar, but I can't think of what it reminds me of.


75 posted on 07/20/2004 5:01:04 PM PDT by HairOfTheDog (~*-,._.,-*~Loves her hubbit~*-,._.,-*~)
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To: MEG33
although a bit delayed...;)

LOL, that coffee got to you even worse than me!!

76 posted on 07/20/2004 6:14:03 PM PDT by potlatch (HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH)
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To: Scenic Sounds

Don't worry, your ex told me that you aren't talking her into doing that again...


77 posted on 07/20/2004 7:16:46 PM PDT by Amelia
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