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Daughter: Kerry Showed Love By Saving Hampster (Private Hampster Makes the Wires!)
San Jose Mercury News ^ | 7/30/04

Posted on 07/30/2004 7:25:22 AM PDT by gopwinsin04

In a prime time address to the Democratic National Convention and millions of Americans at home, Alexandta Kerry stepped to the microphone Thursday night with a mission: Help humanize her father, a man plagued with descriptives such as 'aloof' and 'distant.'

The younger Kerry told how, when they were youngsters, her sister Vanessa has insisted on taking her pet hampster on the family vacation.

While the family was on the dock waiting for a boat to pick them up, the family's golden retriever became tangled in its leash and bumped the hampster cage, knocking it into the water.

As the cage sank beneath the waves, Alexandra continued, her father--the future Democratic nominee for president--'grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hampster and began to administer CPR.'

'There were some reports of mouth to mouth, but I admit it's probably a trick of memory', Alexandra said.

He was never quite right after that, but Licorice lived.'

(Excerpt) Read more at mercurynews.com ...


TOPICS: Extended News; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; US: Massachusetts
KEYWORDS: dncconvention; hamster; kerry; lemmiwinks; lies
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What a maroon!
1 posted on 07/30/2004 7:25:25 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
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To: gopwinsin04

he probably wanted to save the hamster as a gift to his bud - richard gere!

either that or he wanted it for his NASA debut.


2 posted on 07/30/2004 7:28:53 AM PDT by camle (keep your mind open and somebody will fill it with something for you))
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To: gopwinsin04
"He was never quite right after that, but Licorice lived."

Yeah? And how about the hampster?

3 posted on 07/30/2004 7:29:11 AM PDT by theDentist ("John Kerry changes positions more often than a Nevada prostitute.")
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4 posted on 07/30/2004 7:29:41 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
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To: gopwinsin04

I saved a squirrel once, Rocky aspirated his formula and was agonal breathing and I blew into his mouth (not mouth to mouth) and tapped on his chest. I had him since he was two weeks old so I guess I saved him twice.


5 posted on 07/30/2004 7:29:53 AM PDT by mel
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To: gopwinsin04

Why wasn't the hamster up there on stage with Kerry's band of brothers?


6 posted on 07/30/2004 7:30:28 AM PDT by counterpunch (The CouNTeRPuNcH Collection - www.counterpunch.us)
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To: gopwinsin04

I've always wanted to visit New Hampster.


7 posted on 07/30/2004 7:31:47 AM PDT by TheBigB (Where -was- the bathroom on the Starship Enterprise?)
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To: gopwinsin04

How many families go on vacation 1. By being picked up on a dock; 2. with their pet hampsters and all their other pets?

We pile into the minivan and have our neighbors watch the cats.


8 posted on 07/30/2004 7:33:36 AM PDT by Cathy
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To: gopwinsin04

.....and, under heavy enemy fire, he turned the boat around and plucked me out.

9 posted on 07/30/2004 7:33:58 AM PDT by Cagey
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To: gopwinsin04

That little vignette certainly has persuaded me to vote for him.


10 posted on 07/30/2004 7:34:27 AM PDT by mountaineer (yes, I'm kidding)
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To: counterpunch

It was. It just wasn't visible..


11 posted on 07/30/2004 7:35:20 AM PDT by sheik yerbouty
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To: gopwinsin04

Hamster. A Hampster is a graduate of Hampden Sydney College. Of course, he could have given kissy action to a Hampster at a party or something.


12 posted on 07/30/2004 7:35:20 AM PDT by AppyPappy (If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
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To: gopwinsin04

"I HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH HAMPSTERS! DO YOU KNOW THAT I GAVE ONE CPR ONCE?"

13 posted on 07/30/2004 7:35:24 AM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: Cagey

Effin got a splinter from the oar and was awarded his fourth Purple Heart.


14 posted on 07/30/2004 7:35:45 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: mel

Gee, I wonder if life for a hamster begins at conception. He cares more about hamsters than babies.


15 posted on 07/30/2004 7:35:56 AM PDT by berkley
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To: gopwinsin04

If Dukakis was Rocky the Flying Squirrel...

...John Kerry is Hamtaro!


16 posted on 07/30/2004 7:36:01 AM PDT by Lightfinger
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To: Cathy

Yep, Thurston Howell was getting picked up by his yacht I imagine..


17 posted on 07/30/2004 7:36:07 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
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To: gopwinsin04

I'm sure Ted Kennedy felt very uncomfortable during the telling of a water rescue story.


18 posted on 07/30/2004 7:36:29 AM PDT by NativeNewYorker (Don't blame me. I voted for Sharpton.)
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To: gopwinsin04

ROFL!

http://www.hampsterdance.com/hampsterdanceredux.html


19 posted on 07/30/2004 7:36:39 AM PDT by Velveeta
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To: mountaineer

And the golden retriever got a Silver Star.

HAMSTER DANCE!!

}:-)4


20 posted on 07/30/2004 7:37:49 AM PDT by Moose4 (Remember, change your tagline every 3 months or 3,000 posts, whichever comes first.)
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To: gopwinsin04

Reminds me of the "cat milking" story Ben Stiller tried out on Robert DeNiro in "Meet the Parents".


21 posted on 07/30/2004 7:37:49 AM PDT by glennaro
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To: PBRSTREETGANG

22 posted on 07/30/2004 7:39:07 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
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To: sheik yerbouty
Perhaps Teresa knows where the hamster is...

23 posted on 07/30/2004 7:40:45 AM PDT by counterpunch (The CouNTeRPuNcH Collection - www.counterpunch.us)
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To: gopwinsin04

Only because the author repeats this mistake, thus proving it's NOT a typo, am I compelled to say that...

It is not spelled HAMPSTER, but HAMSTER.

AS in, the smally furry animal loved by Richard Gere.


24 posted on 07/30/2004 7:41:06 AM PDT by Blzbba (John Kerry - Dawn of a New Error.)
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To: mountaineer

Then the hamster crawled into my sister's bra,
right around here, and Dad fished it out!
25 posted on 07/30/2004 7:41:17 AM PDT by mountaineer
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To: NativeNewYorker

 
 
Click HERE for

The Kerry/Edwards Files
-at-
The CouNTeRPuNcH Collection

26 posted on 07/30/2004 7:41:37 AM PDT by counterpunch (The CouNTeRPuNcH Collection - www.counterpunch.us)
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To: gopwinsin04
It's 'hamster.'

Good job, San Jose Mercury News.

27 posted on 07/30/2004 7:42:43 AM PDT by atomicpossum (If there are two Americas, John Edwards isn't qualified to lead either of them.)
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To: Cagey

Stop, you're killing me!!!!


28 posted on 07/30/2004 7:43:36 AM PDT by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
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To: gopwinsin04

Hampsters is practically gerbils.


29 posted on 07/30/2004 7:44:03 AM PDT by biblewonk (WELL I SPEAK LOUD, AND I CARRY A BIGGER STICK...AND I USE IT TOO.)
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To: counterpunch
dang it you beat me with the photo....

Hey Terayza, you know the fluffy toilet paper you were talking about.....uh, I was just drying out the hamster I rescued.

30 posted on 07/30/2004 7:47:47 AM PDT by Dick Vomer (liberals suck......... but it depends on what your definition of the word "suck" is.)
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To: Cagey

31 posted on 07/30/2004 7:48:02 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
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To: All

Where were the DNC who watched the speeches last night and what was said?? I have never heard anything so stupid in all my life. I am listening to W right now....and WOW what a leader we have!! I am so proud of this man I am busting out in pride. He was the only man after 9/ll who stepped up to the plate and DID SOMETHING. Thank God for him. Noone at that conflab in Boston mentioned the war we are in against terrorists world wide. The proud men and women, our sons and daughters are there because they love America and freedom. The DNC far left liberals are on Kerry and Michel Moore's side. All the rest of us are here with W !!!!!!!!!


32 posted on 07/30/2004 7:49:23 AM PDT by cousair
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To: TheBigB
What a doofus..


33 posted on 07/30/2004 7:49:34 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
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To: mountaineer

ROFL!!


34 posted on 07/30/2004 7:49:41 AM PDT by Cagey
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To: gopwinsin04

ROTFL!!!!


35 posted on 07/30/2004 7:51:10 AM PDT by Rennes Templar
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To: gopwinsin04

Hahahaha ....This is one of those perfect Friday threads!


36 posted on 07/30/2004 7:52:20 AM PDT by Cagey
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To: Blzbba

Maybe this was a resident of East Hampton.


37 posted on 07/30/2004 7:52:29 AM PDT by steve8714
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To: gopwinsin04

38 posted on 07/30/2004 7:52:46 AM PDT by dead (I've got my eye out for Mullah Omar.)
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To: gopwinsin04

When the United States of America declares war on Hamsters, then indeed, I SHALL vote for John F. Kerry for President.


39 posted on 07/30/2004 7:53:05 AM PDT by C210N
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To: gopwinsin04

"Sir, you are no Ted Kennedy!"


40 posted on 07/30/2004 7:53:14 AM PDT by TigersEye (Your parents are Pro-Choice? You're lucky to be here!)
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To: TigersEye
savingprivatehamster
41 posted on 07/30/2004 7:54:59 AM PDT by Howlin (Saving Private Hamster)
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To: gopwinsin04
...the future Democratic nominee for president--'grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hampster and began to administer CPR.'

This is indeed a man of many facets.

In one lifetime he's torturing, mutilating and murdering innocent Vietnamese and in another he's breathing life into a dying hamster!

What a pile of crap is this DemocRAT candidate, and what a pile of crap is this socialist RAT party! Watching their "convention" is a study in subhumanism.

42 posted on 07/30/2004 7:55:06 AM PDT by JesseHousman (Execute Mumia Abu-Jamal)
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To: gopwinsin04

If only Mary Jo had been a hamster, Teddy the Swimmer might have saved her.


43 posted on 07/30/2004 7:55:07 AM PDT by TheRightGuy (ERROR CODE 018974523: Random Tagline Compiler Failure)
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To: Cagey

Hamster.....and, under heavy enemy fire, he turned the boat around and plucked me out.



(((( lmao )))) very funny ;)


44 posted on 07/30/2004 7:55:43 AM PDT by SunnySide
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To: gopwinsin04

I, for one, commend him for his hamster rescue. It's not quite enough to get me to vote for him, but if he gets elected at least I'll be able to say, "well, he saved that hamster, so maybe he's not so bad."


45 posted on 07/30/2004 7:56:39 AM PDT by Flashlight
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To: dead
Richard Gere is intently following this story..


46 posted on 07/30/2004 7:57:00 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
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To: gopwinsin04

Actually, he thought it was a RAT and future voter, thus his only reason for trying to save it.


47 posted on 07/30/2004 7:58:58 AM PDT by NorseWood
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To: gopwinsin04

48 posted on 07/30/2004 8:01:55 AM PDT by Cagey
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To: Howlin
... Alexandra said. "He was never quite right after that, but Licorice lived."

I'm glad that Licorice lived but, Alex, your Daddy was never quite right.

49 posted on 07/30/2004 8:02:43 AM PDT by TigersEye (Your parents are Pro-Choice? You're lucky to be here!)
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To: gopwinsin04

Who gives a F@%^&%*#@ ballon hoot what she doaes. Kerry is over. Let her eat cake from her nutty moms bank account.


50 posted on 07/30/2004 8:03:00 AM PDT by Dallas59
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