Skip to comments.Daughter: Kerry Showed Love By Saving Hampster (Private Hampster Makes the Wires!)
Posted on 07/30/2004 7:25:22 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
In a prime time address to the Democratic National Convention and millions of Americans at home, Alexandta Kerry stepped to the microphone Thursday night with a mission: Help humanize her father, a man plagued with descriptives such as 'aloof' and 'distant.'
The younger Kerry told how, when they were youngsters, her sister Vanessa has insisted on taking her pet hampster on the family vacation.
While the family was on the dock waiting for a boat to pick them up, the family's golden retriever became tangled in its leash and bumped the hampster cage, knocking it into the water.
As the cage sank beneath the waves, Alexandra continued, her father--the future Democratic nominee for president--'grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hampster and began to administer CPR.'
'There were some reports of mouth to mouth, but I admit it's probably a trick of memory', Alexandra said.
He was never quite right after that, but Licorice lived.'
(Excerpt) Read more at mercurynews.com ...
he probably wanted to save the hamster as a gift to his bud - richard gere!
either that or he wanted it for his NASA debut.
Yeah? And how about the hampster?
I saved a squirrel once, Rocky aspirated his formula and was agonal breathing and I blew into his mouth (not mouth to mouth) and tapped on his chest. I had him since he was two weeks old so I guess I saved him twice.
Why wasn't the hamster up there on stage with Kerry's band of brothers?
I've always wanted to visit New Hampster.
How many families go on vacation 1. By being picked up on a dock; 2. with their pet hampsters and all their other pets?
We pile into the minivan and have our neighbors watch the cats.
.....and, under heavy enemy fire, he turned the boat around and plucked me out.
That little vignette certainly has persuaded me to vote for him.
It was. It just wasn't visible..
Hamster. A Hampster is a graduate of Hampden Sydney College. Of course, he could have given kissy action to a Hampster at a party or something.
"I HAVE A LOT IN COMMON WITH HAMPSTERS! DO YOU KNOW THAT I GAVE ONE CPR ONCE?"
Effin got a splinter from the oar and was awarded his fourth Purple Heart.
Gee, I wonder if life for a hamster begins at conception. He cares more about hamsters than babies.
If Dukakis was Rocky the Flying Squirrel...
...John Kerry is Hamtaro!
Yep, Thurston Howell was getting picked up by his yacht I imagine..
I'm sure Ted Kennedy felt very uncomfortable during the telling of a water rescue story.
And the golden retriever got a Silver Star.
Reminds me of the "cat milking" story Ben Stiller tried out on Robert DeNiro in "Meet the Parents".
Only because the author repeats this mistake, thus proving it's NOT a typo, am I compelled to say that...
It is not spelled HAMPSTER, but HAMSTER.
AS in, the smally furry animal loved by Richard Gere.
Good job, San Jose Mercury News.
Stop, you're killing me!!!!
Hampsters is practically gerbils.
Hey Terayza, you know the fluffy toilet paper you were talking about.....uh, I was just drying out the hamster I rescued.
Where were the DNC who watched the speeches last night and what was said?? I have never heard anything so stupid in all my life. I am listening to W right now....and WOW what a leader we have!! I am so proud of this man I am busting out in pride. He was the only man after 9/ll who stepped up to the plate and DID SOMETHING. Thank God for him. Noone at that conflab in Boston mentioned the war we are in against terrorists world wide. The proud men and women, our sons and daughters are there because they love America and freedom. The DNC far left liberals are on Kerry and Michel Moore's side. All the rest of us are here with W !!!!!!!!!
Hahahaha ....This is one of those perfect Friday threads!
Maybe this was a resident of East Hampton.
When the United States of America declares war on Hamsters, then indeed, I SHALL vote for John F. Kerry for President.
"Sir, you are no Ted Kennedy!"
This is indeed a man of many facets.
In one lifetime he's torturing, mutilating and murdering innocent Vietnamese and in another he's breathing life into a dying hamster!
What a pile of crap is this DemocRAT candidate, and what a pile of crap is this socialist RAT party! Watching their "convention" is a study in subhumanism.
If only Mary Jo had been a hamster, Teddy the Swimmer might have saved her.
Hamster.....and, under heavy enemy fire, he turned the boat around and plucked me out.
(((( lmao )))) very funny ;)
I, for one, commend him for his hamster rescue. It's not quite enough to get me to vote for him, but if he gets elected at least I'll be able to say, "well, he saved that hamster, so maybe he's not so bad."
Actually, he thought it was a RAT and future voter, thus his only reason for trying to save it.
I'm glad that Licorice lived but, Alex, your Daddy was never quite right.
Who gives a F@%^&%*#@ ballon hoot what she doaes. Kerry is over. Let her eat cake from her nutty moms bank account.