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Rather Document Surfaces
San Antonio Lightning Newspaper ^ | 9/11/04 | SAL Political Snitch

Posted on 09/11/2004 7:14:11 AM PDT by lionstar

The following document is purported to be an internal memo by Dan Rather. We assure you that we have given it just as much scrutiny as did CBS in its recent expose of documents pertaining to the President.   From: Dan Rather TO: CBS Staff

Holy (Redacted).

We got caught!

Looks like we "crapped in the whiskey."

This is the last time we use James Carville as a source!

Looking back, we should have realized something was wrong when the documents came in a "happy meal" box. Did that come with fries? Why didn't I get any?

Time for damage control. Get Rooney and Wallace sobered up, and meet me in the "secret" boardroom. Check to make sure all the stalls are empty.

I called Michael Moore for some advice, but he was on an "acid trip" and was really of very little help.

A few thoughts to mull before we meet:

Can we say that our source was a "time traveler?" This would explain the document being written on a typewriter that didn't exist in that era. Would make a pretty good story for "60 MINUTES," too.

Or we could get Al Gore to claim that HE invented the word processor in 1970, and kept it a secret from everyone except the Texas Air National Guard.

Maybe we could divert attention by breaking the "Amelia Earhart/Hitler Story" a week early. Or something like that. Maybe we can HYPE a breaking story to minimize this.

Where are the terrorists when you really need them!

Also, think about a possible selection to "take the gaff." Maybe we could blame it on Scott Pelley. He's been eye-balling my job for years. Never liked that kid.

So much for the CBS theory that "nobody remembers yesterday."

We've got to work fast on this one, or we may not last "60 MINUTES," if you get my drift.

And you can take that to the bank!

Dan  

Flash: This just in. We did some more checking. This memo may not be authentic. In fact it is probably a bunch of cBS.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: killian; rather; seebs
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1 posted on 09/11/2004 7:14:12 AM PDT by lionstar
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To: lionstar

2 posted on 09/11/2004 7:16:09 AM PDT by tioga (this picture was "borrowed" from another thread.........)
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To: lionstar

Funny, but please identify these with "Vanity" in the title.


3 posted on 09/11/2004 7:17:56 AM PDT by Verax
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To: lionstar

Very good.
Welcome to FR!


4 posted on 09/11/2004 7:20:51 AM PDT by MaryFromMichigan (We childproofed our home, but they are still getting in)
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To: lionstar

You just have to add Dan's signature so his document expert can vouch for it's accuracy.
5 posted on 09/11/2004 7:21:15 AM PDT by jimbo123
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To: Verax
This is not a vanity. Click on the link, it goes to a newspaper called "The San Antonio Lightning".

6 posted on 09/11/2004 7:21:18 AM PDT by Bon mots
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To: lionstar

Welcome to FR


7 posted on 09/11/2004 7:21:46 AM PDT by canalabamian (Common sense, unfortunately, is not very common)
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To: canalabamian

Thanks.....Proud to be here!!!


8 posted on 09/11/2004 7:24:15 AM PDT by lionstar
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To: lionstar
Why doesn't someone make up an "I resign" letter, complete with Danny's signature, that we can fax to CBS???
9 posted on 09/11/2004 7:26:22 AM PDT by atomicpossum (If there are two Americas, John Edwards isn't qualified to lead either of them.©)
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To: lionstar

Sweet Lord, that's downright hilarious.


10 posted on 09/11/2004 7:28:03 AM PDT by Jenya (Buy Unfit for Command. Donate to Swiftvets.com. It's your American duty.)
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To: lionstar

Don't let the "color within the lines" folks get you down. Jump in and enjoy!


11 posted on 09/11/2004 7:29:20 AM PDT by canalabamian (Common sense, unfortunately, is not very common)
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To: lionstar

Too funny!!

Great find, thanks for posting!


12 posted on 09/11/2004 7:37:53 AM PDT by DustyMoment (Repeal CFR NOW!!)
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To: lionstar

Hillaryarious! Welcome.............


13 posted on 09/11/2004 7:38:00 AM PDT by litehaus
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To: lionstar

Has CBS applied for their '527' status yet?


14 posted on 09/11/2004 7:40:14 AM PDT by feedback doctor (60 Minutes, at their commercials are honest)
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To: lionstar

All we need to do is take over 60 Minutes . . .


15 posted on 09/11/2004 7:51:30 AM PDT by Mach9 (.)
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To: lionstar

Dan Rather's stand
By Wolf Blitzer
CNN

http://cnn.usnews.printthis.clickability.com/pt/cpt?action=cpt&title=CNN.com+-+Dan+Rather%27s+stand+-+Sep+10%2C+2004&expire=-1&urlID=11603991&fb=Y&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cnn.com%2F2004%2FUS%2F09%2F10%2Frather%2Findex.html&partnerID=2004


WASHINGTON (CNN) -- This is not the first time Dan Rather has found himself in a serious dispute with a U.S. president.

There was this exchange in 1974 during the height of the Watergate scandal with then-President Richard Nixon:

Nixon: Are you running for something?

Rather: No sir, are you?

And there was this exchange with then-Vice President George Bush in 1988 over the Iran-Contra scandal.

Rather: I don't want to be argumentative, Mr. vice president.

Bush: You do, Dan.

Rather: No -- no, sir, I don't.

Bush: This is not a great night, because I want to talk about why I want to be president, why those 41 percent of the people are supporting me. And I don't think it's fair to judge my whole career by a rehash of Iran. How would you like it if I judged your career by those seven minutes when you walked off the set in New York?

Now, the 72-year-old CBS News anchor finds himself in yet another confrontation with a Republican president.

"I want to emphasize: I stand by my president. We are in a time of war, and I stand behind my president. There is not joy in reporting such a story, but my job as a journalist is not to be afraid, and when we come with facts, and legitimate questions supported by witnesses and documents that we believe to be authentic, to raise those questions no matter how unpleasant they are," Rather said Friday.

At issue is his report on "60 Minutes" that aired Wednesday -- a report that included documents purporting to show that the current President Bush, while serving in the Texas Air National Guard, did not meet all his military obligations.

"They [the White House] have not answered the question of did or did the president not obey or obey an order? Was he or was he not suspended for failure to meet performance standards of the Air Force? If he didn't take the physical, why didn't he take the physical?" Rather said.

But now, there are questions about the authenticity of the documents released by "60 Minutes."

The Washington Post says the "60 Minutes" documents are not consistent with other documents released by Bush's Air National Guard unit in the early '70's.

"If you compare the documents that CBS produced with the documents that we know to be authentic, that did come from Bush's National Guard unit, none of those documents use proportionate spacing. And that's only one of the anomalies," says the Post's Michael Dobbs.

Experts contacted by CNN say there are some inconsistencies in the type style and formatting -- noting those styles then existed on typewriters but were not common. They also say only a review of the original documents -- not copies -- can completely resolve the matter.

Beyond that, surviving relatives of Bush's then commander, Lt. Col. Jerry Killian, the author of the purported documents, insist they are fake. They say Killian always believed Bush was an excellent pilot and that he never wrote these documents. Killian died in 1984.

"The story is true. The story is true," Rather said. "The questions raised in the story are serious and legitimate questions."

Rather denies there is any internal CBS News investigation under way -- a statement backed by the network.

Rather also said the possibility of issuing any kind of recant or apology was "not even discussed. Nor should it be."


16 posted on 09/11/2004 8:04:09 AM PDT by stevek1
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To: lionstar
So much for the CBS theory that "nobody remembers yesterday."

Bingo!

17 posted on 09/11/2004 8:04:13 AM PDT by BenLurkin (We have low inflation and and low unemployment.)
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To: lionstar

DR: "Jefe, it's always good to see you ... your offer to have me to visit
Cuba at this time was most kind and a bit unexpected, but I really
could use a little peace and quiet right around now. By the way, I
appreciated that beautiful formal invitation you sent."

FC: "¿Eh, qué invitación, mi amigo?"

18 posted on 09/11/2004 8:11:55 AM PDT by mikrofon (Welcome to FR!)
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To: lionstar
We assure you that we have given it just as much scrutiny as did CBS in its recent expose of documents pertaining to the President.

lol

19 posted on 09/11/2004 8:12:00 AM PDT by miltonim (Fight those who do not believe in Allah. - Koran, Surah IX: 29)
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To: Verax

RELAX for God's sake


20 posted on 09/11/2004 8:15:19 AM PDT by libwacker
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