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Kerry's favorite Nantucket restaurant
Boston Herald ^ | Aug. 31, 2004 | Howie Carr

Posted on 09/13/2004 12:24:47 AM PDT by jjmcgo

Kerry's served on GOP menu as dead duck By Howie Carr Tuesday, August 31, 2004

You're John Kerry and the only liberal puke who's had a worse August than you is William Kennedy Smith.

They said it was your election to lose, and you're losing it.

You told 'em you were no Dukakis and you're not. As the Bush campaign pulverized him in August 1988, the Duke ran away to Tanglewood. Sixteen years later, you haven't fled to Tanglewood, you've lammed out for Nantucket.

And now you're holed up in the $9 million mansion on Hulbert Avenue that your second wife's first husband's trust fund bought.

You're John Kerry, and you can't help yourself. Somewhere today you'll just have to cut in some line somewhere and inquire of some poor wage slave, ``Do you know who I am?'' Yes, Senator, you're the narcissistic fop who's blowing the election.

You're John Kerry, and where will Lovey's billion-dollar trust fund treat you to dinner? Perhaps the Chanticleer in Sconset, or do you prefer The Galley on Cliffside Beach?

You're John Kerry, and you're a man of the people. People who are willing to spend $150 on dinner for two, if you don't want any wine.

If only you could sit down with the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, perhaps at Topper's Restaurant at the Wauwinet Inn. If you could just break baguette with them and then partake of a simple three-course dinner. It's one of the best buys on the island, only $78 per person, not including wine. In such a modest eatery, surely you could reason with them.

You're John Kerry, and you could order the food for them: for an appetizer, the poached Hudson Valley foie gras with black mission fig preserve and Portuguese bread. On top of the $78, there's a ``$5 supplement'' for that, and another ``$8 supplement'' if you go for the poached Nantucket lobster navarin.

``O'Neill,'' you could say to the head Swift Boat vet, ``why am I not connecting with the voters? I like all the same things they do - hang-gliding, $35 million Gulfstream jets, ski chalets in Sun Valley . . .''

You're John Kerry, and after a hard day of riding your $8,000 Serotta bike, you owe yourself a big feed, and may I recommend one of our favorites here at Topper's?

Go for the grilled Peking Duck breast and confit with quinoa, tot soi and ginger-peach chutney.

Dead duck, Senator. It's always in season for liberal Massachusetts snots running for president. Not lame duck, but dead duck.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; US: Massachusetts
KEYWORDS: election; elitism; howiecarr; kennedy; kerry; lurch; nantucket
Here's the menu at the Chanticleer. If you have to ask the price, the saying goes, you can't afford it. http://www.thechanticleerinn.com/menus.html

Howie Carr was on C-Span, ripping Kerry up, and a caller asked if he couldn't think of one good thing to say about Kerry, based on their 30-year association, and Carr responded: "He's America's most successful gigolo."

1 posted on 09/13/2004 12:24:48 AM PDT by jjmcgo
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To: jjmcgo

BTTT


2 posted on 09/13/2004 12:28:24 AM PDT by Fiddlstix (This Tagline for sale. (Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: jjmcgo
"He's America's most successful gigolo."

True, 2 heiresses married Lurch. Why? Is it his spontaneous charm? That wit? The Kerry charisma?

Whatever it is, Kerry works hard for her money. How would you like to be married to Pickled?

3 posted on 09/13/2004 12:33:20 AM PDT by xJones
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To: jjmcgo

Is there a Wendy's on Nantucket? I hear Ms. Heinz-Kerry LOVES the chili.


4 posted on 09/13/2004 12:33:27 AM PDT by conservative in nyc
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To: jjmcgo

Horsepuss is toast!


5 posted on 09/13/2004 12:37:12 AM PDT by norraad ("What light!">Blues Brothers)
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To: jjmcgo

There once was a guy from Nantucket, . . . oh never mind.


6 posted on 09/13/2004 12:42:18 AM PDT by TheLawyerFormerlyKnownAsAl
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To: xJones
Whatever it is, Kerry works hard for her money. How would you like to be married to Pickled?

You know, you're really close to a good nickname there.

Suppose we start calling Fuzzy Wuzzy "Pickles" instead?

7 posted on 09/13/2004 12:44:30 AM PDT by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: Hank Rearden
Suppose we start calling Fuzzy Wuzzy "Pickles" instead?

I've called her Pickles several times here, but never anything so "vulgar" as Fuzzy Wuzzy.:)

And in reluctant defense of Kerry, he has at least a billion good reasons to stay with her.

8 posted on 09/13/2004 1:13:31 AM PDT by xJones
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To: xJones

Lurch and Pickles - quite the cute couple, eh?


9 posted on 09/13/2004 1:15:42 AM PDT by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: Hank Rearden
Pickles is interesting on the few occasions they let her out of the attic. On her last escape she was quoted as saying:

“Only an idiot wouldn’t like this,” she told the newspaper, speaking of Kerry’s health care plan. “Of course, there are idiots.”

10 posted on 09/13/2004 1:36:56 AM PDT by xJones
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To: jjmcgo

bump


11 posted on 09/13/2004 3:53:24 AM PDT by tom paine 2
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To: TheLawyerFormerlyKnownAsAl
There once was a guy from Nantucket, . . .

Not quite. You need one that rhymes with "shove it".

12 posted on 09/13/2004 7:54:36 AM PDT by knuthom
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To: Hank Rearden
Suppose we start calling Fuzzy Wuzzy "Pickles" instead?

Pickles?

I love it!


13 posted on 09/13/2004 8:42:54 AM PDT by Michael.SF. ("Carl Rove? That Bitch set us up! - Terry 'marion Berry' McCauliff)
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To: xJones
Whatever it is, Kerry works hard for her money.

Hey, it's hard work, walking down those aisles to marry into all that money, putting on those masks like you actually care for the woman who keeps you and has all that money. Of course, Kerry's a 'Rat, and so is probably well-practiced at the art of living a lie.

14 posted on 09/13/2004 8:50:00 AM PDT by chimera
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To: Michael.SF.

Man, I'd forgotten about Mory's wife!


15 posted on 09/13/2004 9:31:46 AM PDT by Hank Rearden (Never allow anyone who could only get a government job attempt to tell you how to run your life.)
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To: Michael.SF.
Howie insists that Mrs Heinz be addressed as "Momma T."
16 posted on 09/13/2004 9:41:04 AM PDT by Little Bill (John F'n Kerry is a self promoting scumbag!)
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To: knuthom

There once was a guy from Nantucket, . . .

Not quite. You need one that rhymes with "shove it"




Stuck it?


17 posted on 09/13/2004 10:41:41 AM PDT by TheLawyerFormerlyKnownAsAl
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