Posted on 09/13/2004 12:24:47 AM PDT by jjmcgo
Kerry's served on GOP menu as dead duck By Howie Carr Tuesday, August 31, 2004
You're John Kerry and the only liberal puke who's had a worse August than you is William Kennedy Smith.
They said it was your election to lose, and you're losing it.
You told 'em you were no Dukakis and you're not. As the Bush campaign pulverized him in August 1988, the Duke ran away to Tanglewood. Sixteen years later, you haven't fled to Tanglewood, you've lammed out for Nantucket.
And now you're holed up in the $9 million mansion on Hulbert Avenue that your second wife's first husband's trust fund bought.
You're John Kerry, and you can't help yourself. Somewhere today you'll just have to cut in some line somewhere and inquire of some poor wage slave, ``Do you know who I am?'' Yes, Senator, you're the narcissistic fop who's blowing the election.
You're John Kerry, and where will Lovey's billion-dollar trust fund treat you to dinner? Perhaps the Chanticleer in Sconset, or do you prefer The Galley on Cliffside Beach?
You're John Kerry, and you're a man of the people. People who are willing to spend $150 on dinner for two, if you don't want any wine.
If only you could sit down with the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, perhaps at Topper's Restaurant at the Wauwinet Inn. If you could just break baguette with them and then partake of a simple three-course dinner. It's one of the best buys on the island, only $78 per person, not including wine. In such a modest eatery, surely you could reason with them.
You're John Kerry, and you could order the food for them: for an appetizer, the poached Hudson Valley foie gras with black mission fig preserve and Portuguese bread. On top of the $78, there's a ``$5 supplement'' for that, and another ``$8 supplement'' if you go for the poached Nantucket lobster navarin.
``O'Neill,'' you could say to the head Swift Boat vet, ``why am I not connecting with the voters? I like all the same things they do - hang-gliding, $35 million Gulfstream jets, ski chalets in Sun Valley . . .''
You're John Kerry, and after a hard day of riding your $8,000 Serotta bike, you owe yourself a big feed, and may I recommend one of our favorites here at Topper's?
Go for the grilled Peking Duck breast and confit with quinoa, tot soi and ginger-peach chutney.
Dead duck, Senator. It's always in season for liberal Massachusetts snots running for president. Not lame duck, but dead duck.
Howie Carr was on C-Span, ripping Kerry up, and a caller asked if he couldn't think of one good thing to say about Kerry, based on their 30-year association, and Carr responded: "He's America's most successful gigolo."
BTTT
True, 2 heiresses married Lurch. Why? Is it his spontaneous charm? That wit? The Kerry charisma?
Whatever it is, Kerry works hard for her money. How would you like to be married to Pickled?
Is there a Wendy's on Nantucket? I hear Ms. Heinz-Kerry LOVES the chili.
Horsepuss is toast!
There once was a guy from Nantucket, . . . oh never mind.
You know, you're really close to a good nickname there.
Suppose we start calling Fuzzy Wuzzy "Pickles" instead?
I've called her Pickles several times here, but never anything so "vulgar" as Fuzzy Wuzzy.:)
And in reluctant defense of Kerry, he has at least a billion good reasons to stay with her.
Lurch and Pickles - quite the cute couple, eh?
Only an idiot wouldnt like this, she told the newspaper, speaking of Kerrys health care plan. Of course, there are idiots.
bump
Not quite. You need one that rhymes with "shove it".
Pickles?
I love it!
Hey, it's hard work, walking down those aisles to marry into all that money, putting on those masks like you actually care for the woman who keeps you and has all that money. Of course, Kerry's a 'Rat, and so is probably well-practiced at the art of living a lie.
Man, I'd forgotten about Mory's wife!
There once was a guy from Nantucket, . . .
Not quite. You need one that rhymes with "shove it"
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