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C-BS (Ann Coulter)
WND.com ^ | September 15,2004 | Ann Coulter

Posted on 09/15/2004 4:47:25 PM PDT by perfect stranger

Why do TV commentators on CBS' forgery-gate insist on issuing lengthy caveats to the effect that of course this was an innocent mistake and no one is accusing Dan Rather of some sort of "conspiracy," and respected newsman Dan Rather would never intentionally foist phony National Guard documents on an unsuspecting public merely to smear George Bush, etc., etc.?

I'll admit, there's a certain sadistic quality to such overwrought decency toward Dan Rather. But how does Bill O'Reilly know what Dan Rather was thinking when he put forged documents on the air? I know liberals have the paranormal ability to detect racism and sexism, but who knew O'Reilly could read an anchorman's mind just by watching him read the news?

What are the odds that Dan Rather would have accepted such patently phony documents from, say, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth?

As we now know, CBS' own expert told them there were problems with the documents – the main one being that they were clearly fakes dummied up at a Kinko's outlet from somebody's laptop at 4 a.m.

According to ABC News, document examiner Emily Will was hired by CBS to vet the documents. But when she raised questions about the documents' authenticity and strongly warned CBS not to use the documents on air, CBS ignored her. Will concluded: "I did not feel that they wanted to investigate it very deeply."

Within hours of the documents being posted on CBS' website, moderately observant fourth-graders across America noticed that the alleged early '70s National Guard documents were the product of Microsoft Word. If that wasn't bad enough, The New York Times spent the following week hailing Rather for his "journalistic coup" in obtaining the documents that no other newsman had (other than Jayson Blair).

By now, all reputable document examiners in the Northern Hemisphere dispute the documents' authenticity. Even the Los Angeles Times has concluded that the documents are fraudulent – and when you fail to meet the ethical standards of the L.A. Times, you're in trouble.

In Dan Rather's defense, it must be confessed, he is simply a newsreader. Now that Walter Cronkite is retired, Rather is TV's real-life Ted Baxter without Baxter's quiet dignity. No one would ever suggest that he has any role in the content of his broadcast. To blame Dan Rather for what appears on his program would be like blaming Susan Lucci for the plot of "All My Children."

The person to blame is Ted Baxter's producer, Mary Mapes. Mapes apparently decided: We'll run the documents calling Bush a shirker in the National Guard, and if the documents turn out to be fraudulent we'll:

a) Blame Karl Rove; b) Say the documents don't matter.

But if the documents are irrelevant to the question of Bush's Guard duty, then why did CBS bring them up? Why not just say: "The important thing is for you to take our word for it!"

Interestingly, the elite (and increasingly unwatched) media always make "mistakes" in the same direction. They never move too quickly to report a story unfavorable to liberals.

In 1998, CNN broadcast its famous "Tailwind" story, falsely accusing the U.S. military of gassing American defectors in Laos during the Vietnam War. (This was part of liberals' long-standing support for "the troops.") The publishing industry regularly puts out proven frauds such as: "I, Rigoberta Menchu" (a native girl's torture at the hands of the right-wing Guatemalan military), "Arming America: The Origins of a National Gun Culture" (a liberal fantasy of a gun-free colonial America), "Fortunate Son: George W. Bush and the Making of an American President" (a book by a convicted felon with wild stories of George Bush's drug use), and the unsourced nutty fantasies of Kitty Kelley.

In a book out this week, Kelley details many anonymous charges against the Bush family, such as that Laura Bush was a pot dealer in college, George W. Bush was the first person in America to use cocaine back in 1968, and he also regularly consorted with a prostitute in Texas who was then silenced by the CIA.

Kelley backs up her shocking allegations with names of highly credentialed people – who have absolutely no connection to the events she is describing. No one directly involved is on the record, and the people on the record have never met anyone in the Bush family. In other words, her stories have been "vetted" enough to be included on tonight's "CBS Evening News" with Dan Rather.

The New York Times review blamed Kelley's gossip mongering on "a cultural climate in which gossip and innuendo thrive on the Internet." Kelley has been writing these books for decades, so apparently, like the Texas Air National Guard, Kelley was on the Internet – and being influenced by it – back in the '70s. As I remember it, for the past few years it has been the Internet that keeps dissecting and discrediting the gossip and innuendo that the major media put out.

Curiously, all this comes at the precise moment that speculation is at a fever pitch about whether Kitty Kelley is in the advanced stages of syphilis. According to the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases: "Approximately 3 percent to 7 percent of persons with untreated syphilis develop neurosyphilis, a sometimes serious disorder of the nervous system."

Dr. Jonathan Zenilman, M.D., associate professor of medicine at Johns Hopkins University, has found there is an "inter-relationship" between STDs and truck routes in Baltimore. I'm not at liberty to reveal the names of my sources, but there are three or four highly placed individuals in the publishing industry who say Miss Kelley or someone who closely resembles her is a habitue of truck routes in Baltimore.

While opinions differ as to whether Miss Kelley's behavior can be explained by syphilis or some other STD, people who went to Harvard – and Harvard is one of the top universities in the nation – say her path is consistent with someone in the advanced stages.

Amid the swirling dispute over her STDs, there is only one way for Kelley to address this issue: Release her medical records. As someone who would like to be thought of as her friend said anonymously: "For your own good, Ms. Kelley, I would get those medical records out yesterday." This doesn't have to be public. She may release her medical records to me, or if she'd be more comfortable, to my brothers.

Since TV commentators have assured me that Dan Rather is an equal opportunity idiot, Kelley had better clear all this up before someone slips this column to CBS. As a precaution, I've written this on a 1972 Selectric typewriter.


TOPICS: Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: anncoulter; coulter; marymapes; seebs
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1 posted on 09/15/2004 4:47:25 PM PDT by perfect stranger
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To: perfect stranger

mmm... ann


2 posted on 09/15/2004 4:49:37 PM PDT by Crazieman (Hanoi John Effin Kerry. War Criminal. Traitor. Democrat.)
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To: perfect stranger

Because they are covering ther own butts in case they ever screw up... thats my guess...


3 posted on 09/15/2004 4:51:06 PM PDT by FesterUSMC
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To: perfect stranger
...moderately observant fourth-graders across America noticed that the alleged early '70s National Guard documents were the product of Microsoft Word.

Buckhead!

4 posted on 09/15/2004 4:53:55 PM PDT by Doomonyou (Molon Labe! FMCDH!)
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To: perfect stranger
Rather is TV's real-life Ted Baxter without Baxter's quiet dignity

What a great line.

What a great story. Ann knocks it out of the park again.

5 posted on 09/15/2004 4:54:32 PM PDT by Rum Tum Tugger
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To: perfect stranger

I am not sure about her comment about any fourth grader could recognize these were phoney. Then again my daughter in fifth grade can probably identify several dozen different fonts, but then again she has no idea what a typewriter is.


6 posted on 09/15/2004 4:54:56 PM PDT by Always Right
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To: perfect stranger

I love this woman.


7 posted on 09/15/2004 4:55:58 PM PDT by TheGeezer
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To: perfect stranger
CBS

Cock
and
Bull
Story

8 posted on 09/15/2004 4:58:29 PM PDT by Nachum (Kerry spells "Fine Dining")
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To: Ann Coulter; hellinahandcart; NYC GOP Chick; Lil'freeper

Great article m'lady.

From this moderately observant fourth grader.


9 posted on 09/15/2004 4:59:08 PM PDT by sauropod (Hitlary: "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.")
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To: perfect stranger
"The Internet...keeps dissecting and discrediting the gossip and innuendo that the major media put out.
~Ann Coulter~

10 posted on 09/15/2004 4:59:39 PM PDT by Savage Beast (The internet is the newspaper of record.)
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To: perfect stranger
Here is the latest from the DUmmies on Memogate. Read and LAUGH:

Seriously my humble take on this is that even is the documents are forged it is the press's duty to stay on story which are the multitude of lies in GW Bush's military record. If this 86 year old grandma goes on and on about how she recalls waht a rule breaKER, SLACK OFF, AWOL DRUNK NO SHOW HE WAS --ONCE AGAIN THE WH HAS A PROBLEM. Not every independent or fence sitter is going to suck this up and blame Dan Rather...

why couldn't the documents be forgeries? Rovian attempt to get Rather Compared to the rest of the presstitutes, Rather has become a bit of a thorn in the side of the Bushies. Sixty Minutes has also been out in front of the herd of lapdogs. Why WOULDN'T a Rove type set a trap, with faked documents, to try to snare Rather?

I yelled at Dan saying, "Dan, you are my HERO!!!!!!!!!!!

Sure hope Dan-the-Man lobs a THUTH grenade into the whoring cabal of scum

I hope ALL the media in this country is watching this unfold. Dan Rather is giving them a lesson on what reporting is supposed to be.

I am now officially in love with Dan Rather.

If CBS had backed down in the face of intimidation, the bullies would be crawling all over the network's corpse now, and we Democrats would have made another crucial tactical error. We have to defend the truth, even if it is a minor truth. If we give in to bullying, we've lost.

Here's the email I sent: Thank you, Dan Rather, for being one of the last true journalists of courage and integrity remaining on the planet! Those of us who still value Truth over Propaganda respect and applaud you! Please, oh please, continue your efforts and set the example for your fellow "journalists" who routinely cede to the pressures of the Bush Administration and become complicit in spreading their lies and obfuscations. You, sir, are a true Hero! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Way to go Dan, my respect for this man just keeps growing. I just hope he really has the goods. I suspect he does, but man if he doesn't.......

I have two things to say: 1. Thank you, Mr. Rather; and.... 2. Have you no shame, Mr. Bush? Just answer the questions.

I get the feeling Dan has lived for this moment for years now, he's kept rather quiet, careful not to rock the boat too much. For the last five years, people have wondered, why is he still hanging on. Sometimes he looked so tired. But now, when American is at her darkest hour, Dan is taking off the mask and putting his cards on the table. He knows more sh*t about this cabal, then most of us put together. He has been there since the beginning and he has seen it all.

Could CBS have the originals as well? Maybe they were hoping bush would deny the charges and then they could present the real docs and REALLY hang his ass? This gets more and more strange...yesterday I thought it was a Rove's trick but CBS is not backing down so they must have something to back themselves up. Frankly it looks like they want to force bush co into a courtroom or congressional hearing????

I want Dan Rather to unleash the fury NOW!!!!

The documents could be true in content but unauthentic from the standpoint that they are not the original documents and have been reproduced.

11 posted on 09/15/2004 4:59:56 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (What's the Forgery, Dan!!!???)
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To: perfect stranger

THIS is Ann at the top of her game....WOW!


12 posted on 09/15/2004 5:01:03 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: perfect stranger

Is she not the sexiesrt woman in politics?


13 posted on 09/15/2004 5:02:47 PM PDT by zetapsi (Easy Choice)
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To: perfect stranger

>>Why do TV commentators on CBS' forgery-gate insist on issuing lengthy caveats to the effect that of course this was an innocent mistake and no one is accusing Dan Rather of some sort of "conspiracy,"<<

Sean "My good friend Lanny Davis" Hannity said this very day that he thinks Dan was an innocent dupe.

Riiiiight.


14 posted on 09/15/2004 5:03:26 PM PDT by SerpentDove (I love HDTV...now I can count Dan Rather's sweat beads.)
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To: perfect stranger

Go Ann. Sitting on the flagstone porch steps in high heels heftin' the rifle. Although I see it doesn't have a scope, this shot reminds me of the "you're a redneck" joke: "if you've ever used the scope on your rifle to look for the kids."


15 posted on 09/15/2004 5:03:54 PM PDT by Pearls Before Swine
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To: perfect stranger
There are too many pearls in this one to list them all, but here's a few of my favorites:

Even the Los Angeles Times has concluded that the documents are fraudulent – and when you fail to meet the ethical standards of the L.A. Times, you're in trouble.

Now that Walter Cronkite is retired, Rather is TV's real-life Ted Baxter without Baxter's quiet dignity.

Kelley backs up her shocking allegations with names of highly credentialed people – who have absolutely no connection to the events she is describing. No one directly involved is on the record, and the people on the record have never met anyone in the Bush family. In other words, her stories have been "vetted" enough to be included on tonight's "CBS Evening News" with Dan Rather.

Curiously, all this comes at the precise moment that speculation is at a fever pitch about whether Kitty Kelley is in the advanced stages of syphilis.

16 posted on 09/15/2004 5:05:59 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: perfect stranger
Good stuff Ann, but this...

fourth-graders

I understand your intent, but the implication about Freepers... :(

17 posted on 09/15/2004 5:06:19 PM PDT by nsc68
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To: perfect stranger
"It's not so much fun when the rabbit has the gun." - Ann Coulter, Slander Heeheee.. SeeBS
18 posted on 09/15/2004 5:07:56 PM PDT by Diva Betsy Ross (It's not Bush's fault... it's the media's fault!)
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To: perfect stranger
Hi, Ann!


19 posted on 09/15/2004 5:08:09 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: perfect stranger
and when you fail to meet the ethical standards of the L.A. Times, you're in trouble.

hehehehehe

20 posted on 09/15/2004 5:09:58 PM PDT by Graybeard58 (Graybeard - Illinois resident - Keyes voter)
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To: PJ-Comix

You know if those communist scum-bag DUmmies like Rather, he is way over the edge.


21 posted on 09/15/2004 5:14:06 PM PDT by vpintheak (Our Liberties we prize, and our rights we will maintain!)
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To: perfect stranger
Rather is TV's real-life Ted Baxter without Baxter's quiet dignity.

OUCH! ROTFLMPO but ouch!

22 posted on 09/15/2004 5:15:18 PM PDT by LTCJ (CBS, all your Boyd Cycles are belong to us.)
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To: perfect stranger

Bump.....


23 posted on 09/15/2004 5:16:55 PM PDT by Intolerant in NJ
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To: PJ-Comix

Liberal's range of intelligence: From the brain damaged to the brain dead.


24 posted on 09/15/2004 5:17:11 PM PDT by Free ThinkerNY ((((Fight the Liberal Media Brainwashing Machine))))
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To: perfect stranger
Why do TV commentators on CBS' forgery-gate insist on issuing lengthy caveats to the effect that of course this was an innocent mistake and no one is accusing Dan Rather of some sort of "conspiracy,"

Because they will have to see him at their cocktail parties and fund raisers until he dies. However - Dandy Dan will forever be talked about by these same people behind his back, blaming him for the beginning of the end of the Old Media.

What are the odds that Dan Rather would have accepted such patently phony documents from, say, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth?

Excellent point! I love Ann. I hope to hear somebody use this on one of the gabfests this Sunday.

25 posted on 09/15/2004 5:19:18 PM PDT by capydick ("Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism." --George Washington)
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To: perfect stranger

Ann, dear, I am going to make a million next year playing poker, and I want our children to have the best education available. Please write back and let me know ....


26 posted on 09/15/2004 5:24:43 PM PDT by fnord (Being humble doesn't mean thinking less of yourself. It means thinking more of others.)
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To: perfect stranger

Coulter forgery ping!

27 posted on 09/15/2004 5:27:14 PM PDT by isthisnickcool (Only dummies play poker with George W. Bush.)
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To: perfect stranger
If that wasn't bad enough, The New York Times spent the following week hailing Rather for his "journalistic coup" in obtaining the documents that no other newsman had (other than Jayson Blair).

One good line after another! LOL!

28 posted on 09/15/2004 5:27:31 PM PDT by ladyinred ("John Kerry reporting for spitball and typewriter duty.")
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To: perfect stranger

I never realized that Kitty Kelley had syphilis, but it figures. Maybe we can pass the hat to get her some pencillin.


29 posted on 09/15/2004 5:27:52 PM PDT by Mr Ramsbotham ("This house is sho' gone crazy!")
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To: isthisnickcool

I hope that does not offend anyone.


30 posted on 09/15/2004 5:27:53 PM PDT by isthisnickcool (Only dummies play poker with George W. Bush.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I hope ALL the media in this country is watching this unfold. Dan Rather is giving them a lesson on what reporting is supposed to be.

Statements like this would never see the light of day if we hadn't shut our public mental hospitals in the 70s & 80s.

31 posted on 09/15/2004 5:33:07 PM PDT by Tribune7
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To: Lancey Howard
Sure hope Dan-the-Man lobs a THUTH grenade into the whoring cabal of scum

Of course Gunga Dan couldn't lob a "Truth Grenade" be cause he could never recognise one if he saw it.
32 posted on 09/15/2004 5:37:08 PM PDT by Kozak (Anti Shahada: " There is no God named Allah, and Muhammed is his False Prophet")
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To: perfect stranger

33 posted on 09/15/2004 5:40:53 PM PDT by FlyingFish
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To: isthisnickcool

The real thing is even better!


34 posted on 09/15/2004 5:49:43 PM PDT by Growler
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To: perfect stranger
"and when you fail to meet the ethical standards of the L.A. Times, you're in trouble."


For whom the bells tolls time marches on!
35 posted on 09/15/2004 5:50:27 PM PDT by Total Package
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To: Mr Ramsbotham

I didn't know Kitty was a Lot Lizard, but it does explain both the first name and the red eyes. Hmmm....


36 posted on 09/15/2004 5:52:22 PM PDT by Growler
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To: isthisnickcool

I'm shocked SHOCKED!...do you have more? (sound of running and ducking)


37 posted on 09/15/2004 5:52:33 PM PDT by corkoman (Logged in - have you?)
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To: perfect stranger
Why do TV commentators on CBS' forgery-gate insist on issuing lengthy caveats to the effect that of course this was an innocent mistake and no one is accusing Dan Rather of some sort of "conspiracy," and respected newsman Dan Rather would never intentionally foist phony National Guard documents on an unsuspecting public merely to smear George Bush, etc., etc.?

You mean, like Bill O'Rather is doing on Fox right now?

38 posted on 09/15/2004 5:52:40 PM PDT by lancer (If you are not with us, you are against us!)
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To: perfect stranger
Curiously, all this comes at the precise moment that speculation is at a fever pitch about whether Kitty Kelley is in the advanced stages of syphilis.

That may explain why it appears her chin is sliding off her face. If her mouth gets any wider, she'll make a darn good umbrella rack.

Michael M. Bates: My Side of the Swamp

39 posted on 09/15/2004 5:57:03 PM PDT by Mike Bates (Buy and read "Right Angles and Other Obstinate Truths." Well, buy it anyway, OK?)
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To: perfect stranger

i actually have computer written documents of kelly's medical records. she really has std's haven't you heard? she also peels bananas with her toes and smokes pickled herring in a jar. Spread the word my fellow internet gossip mongers!


40 posted on 09/15/2004 6:00:23 PM PDT by Wonderama
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To: Rum Tum Tugger
"..Rather is TV's real-life Ted Baxter without Baxter's quiet dignity"

Ohhh, mannnnn. THAT'S GOTTA HURT!!!

-- Joe


41 posted on 09/15/2004 6:20:14 PM PDT by Joe Republc
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To: Mr Ramsbotham

It's too late for penicillin at this point.


42 posted on 09/15/2004 6:22:08 PM PDT by WashingtonSource (Freedom is not free)
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To: WashingtonSource
It's too late for penicillin at this point.

The penicillin itself would probably develop chancres.

43 posted on 09/15/2004 6:46:08 PM PDT by Mr Ramsbotham ("This house is sho' gone crazy!")
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To: WashingtonSource

What Kitty now has seems to be a particularly virulent and highly antibiotic-resistant strain of some variety of STD that in its later stages attacks the central nervous system.

Or at least that is what I think Ann may have been hinting at.

Ann can be so obscure at times, that occasionally I fear I may miss her most important points in her weekly addresses.


44 posted on 09/15/2004 6:46:53 PM PDT by alloysteel
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To: perfect stranger

Fox News should dump O'Reilly and give Coulter her own show.


45 posted on 09/15/2004 6:51:25 PM PDT by VisualizeSmallerGovernment (Question Liberal Authority)
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To: perfect stranger

ready....aim....fire. Good one Ann.


46 posted on 09/15/2004 7:02:11 PM PDT by MissAmericanPie
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To: perfect stranger

Ann Coulter is the present day Dorothy Parker. The jealousy of her detractors is just as amusing.


47 posted on 09/15/2004 7:06:08 PM PDT by Urbane_Guerilla
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To: PJ-Comix

If Rove cooked this idea up, I say put him on the ticket and give Mr. Cheney the Secretery of State job. This guy deserves it, what a trooper!


48 posted on 09/15/2004 7:21:16 PM PDT by Noosakay
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To: Urbane_Guerilla
Except that Ann travels with a better crowd. That being the VRWC. This was another priceless piece.
49 posted on 09/15/2004 7:53:49 PM PDT by mountainfolk (God bless President George Bush)
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To: perfect stranger
The lady appears to be correct:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/1217324/posts?page=151,50

"DRUDGE SIREN:

CBS Guard Documents Traced to Texas Kinko's...

WASH POST: Documents allegedly written by deceased officer that raised questions about Bush's service with Texas National Guard bore markings showing they had been faxed to CBS News from a Kinko's copy shop in Abilene, Texas... Developing..."

But can she identity the manufacturer of the laptop? Was it a Dell or what?

50 posted on 09/15/2004 7:55:27 PM PDT by Thud
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