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Iowahawk: My Teleprompter is Deadly (New Inspector Dan Rather Mystery)
Iowahawk Blog ^ | 9/22/04 | David Burge

Posted on 09/21/2004 10:20:56 PM PDT by IowaHawk

Edited on 09/23/2004 6:01:15 PM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]

It was a slow September night in Manhattan. The kind of sweaty summer night where the mean streets of Gotham run wild with the shadowy scum of the Republican National Convention. The kind of night where mysteries are born. The kind of night I live for.

My name is Rather. And I’m a dick.

I stabbed out a Lucky into my Watergate Hotel ashtray, a sentimental little souvenir I picked up after my first big scoop (Dan Rather #1 - the Case of the Phantom CREEPs), and peered through the Venetian blinds of my 53rd Street office. I polished the lens on my camera.

It had been over a year since my last big investigation, a nasty little blackmail plot against an eccentric Baghdad Hills tycoon (Dan Rather #24: The Tikrit Orchid), and rent was overdue. I needed a scoop, and I needed one fast. My rabbit foot was working, because a scoop soon came waltzing through the door. In silk stockings.

“Gotta light, handsome?” asked the 32-30-41 silhoutte leaning on the frame.

Mapes. I hadn’t seen her since Dan Rather #27 - The Secret of Abu Ghraib. She was a dangerous dame with dangerous gams – and a nose for Republican plots.

Full story . . .


TOPICS: Front Page News; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: iowahawk; rather

1 posted on 09/21/2004 10:20:57 PM PDT by IowaHawk
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To: IowaHawk

LOL! This is wonderful!


"My name is Rather. And I’m a dick."

;o)


2 posted on 09/21/2004 10:23:29 PM PDT by dixiechick2000 (President Bush is a mensch in cowboy boots.)
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To: IowaHawk
the 32-30-41 silhoutte leaning on the frame.

Ouch.
3 posted on 09/21/2004 10:24:32 PM PDT by Mike Fieschko ("Daddy, are there bad men on your planes?")
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To: Sir Gawain

"...32-30-41 silhoutte leaning on the frame" ping.


4 posted on 09/21/2004 10:27:59 PM PDT by dixiechick2000 (President Bush is a mensch in cowboy boots.)
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To: IowaHawk

Good one!

If Dan the dick has read this, he's calling you a partisan out to get him, and he's not going to stop because of you
``snicker``


5 posted on 09/21/2004 10:29:06 PM PDT by Theresawithanh (FLUSH THE JOHNS IN 2004!!!!)
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To: IowaHawk; Sir Gawain

"Posted by dixiechick2000 to Sir Gawain
On News/Activism ^ 09/21/2004 10:27:59 PM PDT · 4 of 3 ^"


I had reply #4 of 3.
How cool is that? ;o)


6 posted on 09/21/2004 10:30:58 PM PDT by dixiechick2000 (President Bush is a mensch in cowboy boots.)
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To: IowaHawk

Her gams . . .
Your gat . . . .
. . . Ka-CHOW!!!
Fax Me Deadly.


7 posted on 09/21/2004 10:32:43 PM PDT by alcuin
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To: dixiechick2000
See tag-line (^; .

Nam Vet

8 posted on 09/21/2004 10:33:33 PM PDT by Nam Vet (Many MSM reporters think the MOIST dream they had the night before is a "reliable source".)
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To: IowaHawk
Sorry, all, this is an excerpt. Click here for the rest of the hoodunnit (including a guest appearance by Buckhead)
9 posted on 09/21/2004 10:33:54 PM PDT by IowaHawk
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To: IowaHawk; SheLion; Madame Dufarge; Gabz; writer33

Oh, thank you, IH, thank you!

This is hilarious! Pinging a few FRiends to enjoy...;-D


10 posted on 09/21/2004 10:34:29 PM PDT by Judith Anne (First we were digital brownshirts then we were pajamahadeen, now we're the piranha of the internet)
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To: Nam Vet

"(Many MSM reporters think the MOIST dream they had the night before is a "reliable source".)"


ROTFLOL! VERY...ummmmm...creative. ;o)
It's good to see you again.


11 posted on 09/21/2004 10:37:31 PM PDT by dixiechick2000 (President Bush is a mensch in cowboy boots.)
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To: IowaHawk

Well...thank YOU for the link. ;o)


"“You’ve been duped, Danny. Fooled. Had. You were wedgied, pantsed, and paraded around town in your skidmarked B.V.D.s. ”

What a mental picture. ;o)


12 posted on 09/21/2004 10:40:47 PM PDT by dixiechick2000 (President Bush is a mensch in cowboy boots.)
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To: IowaHawk
Thanks. I wouldn't have seen it until the morning.

Nice combination of Spillane and the Firesign Theatre.

'It had been snowing since the top of the page . . .'
13 posted on 09/21/2004 10:41:41 PM PDT by Mike Fieschko ("Daddy, are there bad men on your planes?")
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To: dixiechick2000
Nice to see you too. Sorry, but the line just came to me in a flash! Just seems to me that these people keep thinking we are as low as they are. They've lost all grip on reality.

Nam Vet

14 posted on 09/21/2004 10:59:39 PM PDT by Nam Vet (MSM reporters think the MOIST dream they had the night before is a "reliable source".)
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To: dixiechick2000
Nice to see you too. Sorry, but the line just came to me in a flash! Just seems to me that these people keep thinking we are as low as they are. They've lost all grip on reality.

Nam Vet

15 posted on 09/21/2004 11:00:26 PM PDT by Nam Vet (MSM reporters think the MOIST dream they had the night before is a "reliable source".)
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To: IowaHawk

OH you are too GOOD! LOL! This is hilarious stuff! I loved this exchange between Howard Kurtz and Gunga Dan the Dim:

“Give it to me straight, flatfoot,” I demanded. “What in the name of Edward R. Murrow is going on here?”

“I’m saying you’ve been played like a pawn shop fiddle, Rather. Set up. Conned. Slipped a mickey.”

“What are you implying Kurtz?”

“Snookered. Bamboozled. Flimflammed. They sold you a first class ticket to the Palookaville snipe hunt on the Gullible Express.”

“And so you’re saying….”

“You’ve been duped, Danny. Fooled. Had. You were wedgied, pantsed, and paraded around town in your skidmarked B.V.D.s. ”

“Stop talking in code, Howie,” I snapped. “I need the truth!”

“Oh for crissakes, read the freaking blogs, Rather!” he snapped.


16 posted on 09/21/2004 11:03:49 PM PDT by Choose Ye This Day ("We showed weakness, and weak people are beaten."--Putin / "A more sensitive war on terror." --Kerry)
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To: IowaHawk

17 posted on 09/21/2004 11:14:20 PM PDT by JoJo Gunn (Help control the Leftist population - have them spayed or neutered.)
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To: Judith Anne; IowaHawk; metesky
What a great way to start the day!

Thanks for the ping, Judith Anne.

A masterpiece, Iowahawk.

18 posted on 09/22/2004 5:32:37 AM PDT by Madame Dufarge
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To: IowaHawk

best one in a while MEGA PROPS!!!


19 posted on 09/22/2004 6:41:13 PM PDT by dennisw (Gd is against Amelek for all generations.)
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To: IowaHawk

You are now near the top of my bloglist.


20 posted on 09/23/2004 5:40:24 PM PDT by EricT. (Join the Soylent Green Party...We recycle dead environmentalists.)
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To: IowaHawk; aculeus; general_re; BlueLancer; Poohbah; Librarina; hellinahandcart; AnnaZ; MinuteGal; ..
Whatever you do, don't miss this IowaHawk hardboiled classic.
21 posted on 09/23/2004 5:58:16 PM PDT by dighton
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To: IowaHawk

Michael M. Bates: My Side of the Swamp

22 posted on 09/23/2004 5:59:47 PM PDT by Mike Bates (You're getting drowsy. You will buy my book, you will buy my book, you will buy my book. . .)
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To: IowaHawk

I sometimes wonder how older guys named "Dick" don't feel compelled to change their name. Sometimes I feel embarrassed to even call someone "Dick."


23 posted on 09/23/2004 6:00:34 PM PDT by Cinnamon Girl
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To: IowaHawk

Good to see you, Hawk baby. Stay awhile!


24 posted on 09/23/2004 6:04:19 PM PDT by Zack Nguyen
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To: dighton; IowaHawk; general_re; BlueLancer; Poohbah; Librarina; hellinahandcart; AnnaZ; MinuteGal

Another one worthy of Best of the Web notice.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1220147/posts


25 posted on 09/23/2004 6:42:16 PM PDT by aculeus
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