A Bush-Cheney Tale That's Required Reading For DU Dummies (Humor Break)

Townhall.com ^ | 09/23/04 | Larry Elder

[goldstategop]

Dear Larry,

Last Thursday I put out one of my Bush/Cheney signs in my front yard. Between midnight and 3:00 a.m. someone stole it. On Friday night I put out sign No. 2. Since I didn't have to get up early, I thought my dog and I would "stake out" our sign. This time I put the sign a little closer to the gate leading to my backyard. With my dog on an extra long leash, I planted myself on a lawn chair and read "Unfit for Command" by flashlight until about 1:00 a.m. Here comes the fun part . . . I noticed that the car coming down the street was slowing down and pulling over to the curb right next to my yard. Sure enough, he gets out of his car and heads right for my sign. Just as he was about to uproot and desecrate it, I opened my gate and let my dog make the initial introduction! As he ran to hide behind the rear end of his car, I promptly moved to the driver-side door, which was still open. It was a fairly nice car with power everything and still running. While my dog continued to "introduce" herself, I rolled up the window and hit the power door lock button. With that, I slammed the door, grabbed my Bush sign and headed into the back yard.

And now for the "rest of the story." About 40 minutes later, I heard a knock at the door. I opened the door to one of our city's finest . . . the Vancouver Police Department. The officer asked me what was going on and when I told him, he could not stop laughing! I followed him out to the perp's car and stood there while he asked the guy a few more questions. Upon learning that the guy lived a couple of streets down, I -- knowing what was about to happen -- asked him, "Why do you have Oregon plates on your car if you live just down the street (here in Vancouver, Wash.)?" Larry, Oregon has no sales tax, so often Washington residents will buy and register cars in Oregon to avoid paying sales tax . . . it's a crime and the fine is pretty stiff. Here comes the best part. . . . The look on this guy's face told me he knew he was about to get busted. When the officer asked for his license and registration, the "Democrat" mumbled that (his license) was suspended. Just for kicks and giggles I asked the officer if he smelled any alcohol coming from the guy! The officer looked at me, smiled and promptly gave him a field breathalyzer test. Guess what? You got it, he blew a .10, legally drunk in the state of Washington.

DUI, illegal registration and the brand of "MORON," all 'cause he hates Bush!

Sincerely,

John

[goldstategop]

I thought this Bush-Cheney Tale recounted by a faithful Larry Elder fan is so good it deserves its own pride of place as a humor break. Enjoy!

[spodefly]

Drunken, scofflaw, Kerry supporter (but I repeat myself) BUMP.

[Texas_Jarhead]

LOL, thanks for posting...

[JrAsparagus]

That story makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, thanks!

[JoJo Gunn]

You might like this:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1224182/posts

[starvingstudent]

BWAHAHAHAHAH. Great.

[Stonedog]

That's friggin' HI-larious. ROFL.

[FesterUSMC]

OH MAN! LOL! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[GoLightly]

I have tear running down my face, I'm laughing so hard. I love it!!

[Owl558]

It's nice when things break your way!

[68skylark]

This guy can apply for a high-paying job with the Tiffany Network -- I think they're going to have some openings soon.

[Gator113]

I love a story with a happy ending!!!

Absolutely beautiful.

[Fledermaus]

Typical criminal liberal...stealing signs and not paying his fair share of taxes.

What's really funny is that these morons don't know most states that have sales taxes have use taxes that require you, on an honor system, have to pay the sales tax on items you buy out of state and bring in. I'm sure Washington has one.

Of course this isn't easy to enforce but I'd think just checking the addresses on those Oregon tags in the area would be easy enough. Unless they bought a P.O. box in Oregon to register the car there.

But unlike the nice man that wrote to Larry, my dog would have been a Doberman and trained to maim and hold any trespassers. Let's see him steal Bush yard signs with one hand. But since I don't have a dog but live in Tennessee I just make sure my area is posted "No Trespassing" and according to law I can shoot to kill. No worries though, I'll just maim and hold! lol

[Eva]

Bump

[Khurkris]

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go thru Life!"

[BJungNan]

Great read. Thanks!

[crazyhorse691]

How could you be so insensitive to this citizens plight? I would have at least filmed it to share with friends.

[RockinRight]

That is hilarious!!!

[NotJustAnotherPrettyFace]

DUI, illegal registration and the brand of "MORON," all 'cause he hates Bush!

WOW - A hat trick!

[blondee123]

This is what I plan to do also, if my sign gets stolen, I do have extras in the garage. I also have a big Springer Spaniel who does not like any strangers on her property. I can stay up late so I will be doing the same thing.

I never thought of locking the perp out of their own car though, will add that to my list!