Posted on 11/04/2004 12:28:31 PM PST by Cableguy
Top Ten John Kerry Excuses
10. Voters were in a fever-induced haze because they couldn't get flu shots.
9. Floridians confused by shockingly unconfusing ballots.
8. Maybe it wasn't best idea to begin speeches with "yo mama is so fat" jokes.
7. The endorsement from Osama Bin Laden didn't exactly help him.
6. "Dude--it's the Curse of the Bambino."
5. Should've campaigned more in New Mexico, less in regular Mexico.
4. Turns out voters think it's hot that Cheney has a lesbian daughter.
3. Thought America was ready for a lunatic first lady.
2. Voters seem to really like a weak economy and a badly-run war.
1. Was distracted by late night erotic phone calls from Bill O'Reilly.
LOL!
Now THAT, my friends, is funny!
BUMP to #9, #4 and #3.
LOL!!! Excellent!
#2 is lame.
That's funny. I don't care who you are!
. . . which means that New York won't vote for a winning presidential candidate for two generations!
Wow! Good ones!!!!
Loved #1. I don't care who you are---Bill O'Reilly is getting old---in more ways than one!
#11 Thought that Vietnam Vets all suffered from dementia.
May be the most misunderestimated factor in the election.
Thought going on Stewart's show would help me.
Thought using the Clinton good squad was a good idea.
Ping! ;o)
Thought Terry McAuliffe had new and fresh ideas.
Three words: "Blue Bunny Suit"
> #2 is lame.
Did you suppose that Letterman was happy with the election
outcome?
Being headline #1, he could hardy ignore the topic,
nor keep his biases out of the "jokes".
I shudder to think what may have happened if Kerry used her goon squad instead. It could have been series.
Remember, liberals (like Letterman and his writers) assume O'Reilly is a conservative. Thus, this was supposed to be a dig at conservatism. If not for O'Reilly's problem, they might have given us something about Rush Limbaugh and oxycontin.
I am so glad Letterman and his ilk get to sulk for four more years. :-)
#1: "I brought in Hitlery and Bill's minions to run my pathetic campaign into the ground!"
#2: "I look like a girl when I throw a baseball or football"
#3: "W has hotter daughters"
#4: "They didn't tell me it was a bunny suit"
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