The latest Michael Moore E-mail ( Barf Alert)

Email | 11/4/04 | Michael Moore

[TigersEye]

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

How does that ease a lefties mind? The rule of law is meaningless to them. Remember, Bill Clinton recommends doing away with limited terms.

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

It's the biggest war time victory for a sitting President since FDR.

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this --

The trend would be that candidates who get a complete pass on media scrutiny are able to fool a lot of people.

[ride the whirlwind]

You got us there, I'm very sad over Michigan. I say, let Canada have Wayne and Washtenaw counties, and let our current governor be head of the new province, she's from Canada anyway...

What you said. I actually had a dream last night that they were still counting votes in MI and that it was getting deliciously close........ah well....next time!

[hineybona]

MOORE WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN GETTING BUSH ELECTED..HIS BULLSH*T ACTUALLY BACKFIRED ON HIM ..PASS THE WORD IT WILL EAT HIM ALIVE

[Sofa King]

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

Vice President Cheney, on the other hand.... >:)

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

He does know that Clinton didn't even get 50% of the popular vote, right?

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

More proof that liberals suffer from stunted intellectual growth.

. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don't approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

...from the same polls that showed Kerry winning.

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

Yeah, that turned out real well for Daschel last time, huh?

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

Don't start a war with us. We have all the guns, moron.

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.

Good to know that he's focused on what's important.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

Go racial bigotry!

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.

Micheal Moore robably just wanted the free food at the weddings.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.

Hate to break it to you, but they still only get 1 vote each.

[TigersEye]

He talks to democrats like they are little kids.

He's a professional communicator. He knows his audience.

[laurav]

At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

If this is true, big mistake from Republicans. Look what happened when Republicans took over the Texas state house -- redistricting that won the GOP more seats in the US House. Don't think Democrats won't do that elsewhere.

[raccoonradio]

"Thank you Michael Moore": http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1271594/posts

He may have helped us in '00, too, by supporting Nader.

[austinaero]

Spin, spin, spin. Hey, he's desperate to keep some sort of audience. I was hoping he'd be so disgusted he'd move to France!

I think he's hilarious and he thinks I'm stupid (according to Moore, all Americans are stupid). I guess I understand his reasoning since there are plenty of stupid suckers paying him money to speak and to make movies. He makes a valid point there.

Now he's trying news analysis? Hahahahahahahahaha!
What an irrelevant dork he has become.

I can't wait to see what the "lame duck" President Bush is going to do with Social Security, Education and the Tax Code!!

[Sinner6]

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.

That was actually kinda funny. 1 for 17 is a real improvement for Moore

[syriacus]

your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

So the elderly went for Bush?

I have a feeling that Kerry scared his own elderly supporters away from the polls by his insinuation that they would be getting the flu this Fall.

At any rate, it looks like Moore has bounced back

We know Al Sharpton is getting divorced.

How's Prankin' Al Franken doing?

[LDub]

Is he serious? What a bloated joke!

[Poohbah]

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia.

This is Moore's idea of GOOD news for his side?

We need to, in the words of Bill Gates, "embrace and extend" Cynthia McKinney. We need to ensure that she is what the public sees as the Democrat mainstream. We need to make it so that any Democratic presidential candidate needs to kiss the collective fundament of the McKinney wing of the party to get nominated...and keep kissing it to get the Democrat base out.

[hchutch]

...while WE clean up in the middle of the road.

Heh heh heh...

[max.barker]

1. It is against the law for George W. Bush to run for president again.

We could change that…

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

I don’t have the patience to check his facts (which are likely wrong), but it was a clear, decisive WIN nonetheless (and W got a majority of the popular vote).

3. The only age group in which the majority voted for Kerry was young adults (Kerry: 54%, Bush: 44%), proving once again that your parents are always wrong and you should never listen to them.

Despite what the Bible and the Ten Commandments say. Yes, yes, our parents are all fools whose years of experience have taught them little else than how to mindlessly follow Republican talking points. We should be living in “1984” by now.

4. In spite of Bush's win, the majority of Americans still think the country is headed in the wrong direction (56%), think the war wasn't worth fighting (51%), and don’t approve of the job George W. Bush is doing (52%). (Note to foreigners: Don't try to figure this one out. It's an American thing, like Pop Tarts.)

Wow, not only are those numbers wrong, but he gave us the links to prove it! Thanks for the early Christmas gift on this one!

5. The Republicans will not have a filibuster-proof 60-seat majority in the Senate. If the Democrats do their job, Bush won't be able to pack the Supreme Court with right-wing ideologues. Did I say "if the Democrats do their job?" Um, maybe better to scratch this one.

Yeah, probably better scratch that one.

6. Michigan voted for Kerry! So did the entire Northeast, the birthplace of our democracy. So did 6 of the 8 Great Lakes States. And the whole West Coast! Plus Hawaii. Ok, that's a start. We've got most of the fresh water, all of Broadway, and Mt. St. Helens. We can dehydrate them or bury them in lava. And no more show tunes!

No blood for lava!!!

7. Once again we are reminded that the buckeye is a nut, and not just any old nut -- a poisonous nut. A great nation was felled by a poisonous nut. May Ohio State pay dearly this Saturday when it faces Michigan.

Guess John Kerry shouldn’t have used a buckeye as a lucky charm.

8. 88% of Bush's support came from white voters. In 50 years, America will no longer have a white majority. Hey, 50 years isn't such a long time! If you're ten years old and reading this, your golden years will be truly golden and you will be well cared for in your old age.

Aren’t a lot of Moore’s fans a bunch of whiteys in Canada and Europe?

9. Gays, thanks to the ballot measures passed on Tuesday, cannot get married in 11 new states. Thank God. Just think of all those wedding gifts we won't have to buy now.

Yes, Michael, do thank God for this one. I don’t know how much more immorality He will tolerate.

10. Five more African Americans were elected as members of Congress, including the return of Cynthia McKinney of Georgia. It's always good to have more blacks in there fighting for us and doing the job our candidates can't.

I think we should all be colorblind as far as racism is concerned. Wonder what Mikey thinks about Latino or Asian reps.

11. The CEO of Coors was defeated for Senate in Colorado. Drink up!

If this is the Democrats most significant victory, then we’re sittin’ pretty.

12. Admit it: We like the Bush twins and we don't want them to go away.

They probably want you to go away.

13. At the state legislative level, Democrats picked up a net of at least 3 chambers in Tuesday's elections. Of the 98 partisan-controlled state legislative chambers (house/assembly and senate), Democrats went into the 2004 elections in control of 44 chambers, Republicans controlled 53 chambers, and 1 chamber was tied. After Tuesday, Democrats now control 47 chambers, Republicans control 49 chambers, 1 chamber is tied and 1 chamber (Montana House) is still undecided.

Those lucky democrats. I’m sure this will become very significant and/or relevant when the important issues come up.

14. Bush is now a lame duck president. He will have no greater moment than the one he's having this week. It's all downhill for him from here on out -- and, more significantly, he's just not going to want to do all the hard work that will be expected of him. It'll be like everyone's last month in 12th grade -- you've already made it, so it's party time! Perhaps he'll treat the next four years like a permanent Friday, spending even more time at the ranch or in Kennebunkport. And why shouldn't he? He's already proved his point, avenged his father and kicked our ass.

Keep telling yourself this…maybe it will come true (but don’t bet your double-wide rear end).

15. Should Bush decide to show up to work and take this country down a very dark road, it is also just as likely that either of the following two scenarios will happen: a) Now that he doesn't ever need to pander to the Christian conservatives again to get elected, someone may whisper in his ear that he should spend these last four years building "a legacy" so that history will render a kinder verdict on him and thus he will not push for too aggressive a right-wing agenda; or b) He will become so cocky and arrogant -- and thus, reckless -- that he will commit a blunder of such major proportions that even his own party will have to remove him from office.

Why not do both? Clinton certainly tried to build a legacy while committing reckless/heinous blunders and he succeeded! Course, Clinton’s party refused to remove him from office, and his legacy probably won’t encompass much other than the whole impeachment thingy…

16. There are nearly 300 million Americans -- 200 million of them of voting age. We only lost by three and a half million! That's not a landslide -- it means we're almost there. Imagine losing by 20 million. If you had 58 yards to go before you reached the goal line and then you barreled down 55 of those yards, would you stop on the three yard line, pick up the ball and go home crying -- especially when you get to start the next down on the three yard line? Of course not! Buck up! Have hope! More sports analogies are coming!!!

It’s like the proverbial frog, hopping half the distance to the lake…Or you can look at it using this sports analogy: at least last year the democrats claimed to be above .500 by winning the popular vote, even if they lost the playoff; this year they lost both.

17. Finally and most importantly, over 55 million Americans voted for the candidate dubbed "The #1 Liberal in the Senate." That's more than the total number of voters who voted for either Reagan, Bush I, Clinton or Gore. Again, more people voted for Kerry than Reagan. If the media are looking for a trend it should be this -- that so many Americans were, for the first time since Kennedy, willing to vote for an out-and-out liberal. The country has always been filled with evangelicals -- that is not news. What IS news is that so many people have shifted toward a Massachusetts liberal. In fact, that's BIG news. Which means, don't expect the mainstream media, the ones who brought you the Iraq War, to ever report the real truth about November 2, 2004. In fact, it's better that they don't. We'll need the element of surprise in 2008.

Well, at least we agree that it’s not reasonable to expect the mainstream media to ever report the real truth…By the way, is it possible that more people voted for the #1 liberal because there are more people in the United States? Or, did people simply vote against President Bush because of all the hype (MSM, F9/11…)? I guess Kerry was able to generate some strong support among his base – after all, who hasn’t heard stories of Kerry’s people stealing yard signs, and who here hasn’t seen pics of those ugly mugs of Kerry’s thugs breaking into Bush/Cheney campaign offices? Yeah, maybe some people started moving towards the Massachusetts metrosexual, but would you really want them on your side?

[Max7]

"Actually you gotta give Michael Moore credit. For a failed comedian, he's still able to make us here at Free Republic laugh!"

Michael Moore had a job? I thought he just was your everyday, run-of-the-mill Marxist/Leninist with nothing whatsoever to recommend himself.

[Flux Capacitor]

----Here are 17 reasons not to slit your wrists:----

Michael Moore has a personal 18th reason not to slit his wrists: He couldn't if he wanted to. The main arteries long ago disappeared underneath endless rolls of fat.

I dearly hope the Democrats continue listening to Moore and his ilk, and I have little doubt they will. These losers just never seem to learn that unabashed hate does not get their guys elected. No demographic trend, no political shift, can change that. We are America, and as Americans, we are better than Michael Moore. And, because he is unable to see this, he will spend the rest of his angry, unhappy days struggling to understand why he fails.

-Dan

[weegee]

Look closely...

[DuncanWaring]

2. Bush's victory was the NARROWEST win for a sitting president since Woodrow Wilson in 1916.

Narrower than Harry Truman in 1952?

Narrower than Lyndon Johnson in 1968?

Narrower than Jimmy Carter in 1980?

[Shortstop7]

No, DETROIT voted for Kerry 93% to 7%. Without the hellhole of Detroit Bush would have carried Michigan easily.

Same problem in Illinois, with Chicago. Sigh.

[Shortstop7]

He's still a moron......as if ANYBODY believes he's ever crossed a goal line in his life. lol....oh yeah, Mikey, you're Mr. Football!