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A Troll’s Lament, as complained to this FReeper
Vanity | November 5, 2004 | Mine, Mine

Posted on 11/05/2004 12:17:36 PM PST by OESY

As told to this FReeper:

TROLL: "Look at what Republicans have posted to celebrate their victories on Tuesday.

"Necessity compels me to ask, as a troll, Who in this world ever decided that the electoral map should be divided between Red states for Republicans and Blue states for Democrats? This is unfortunate and unfair.

"Red has always stood for the Glorious Russian Revolution, and the Chinese Reds, not to mention Bolsheviks, Communists, Socialists, Independents from Vermont, ... and Red Sox fans from ultra-liberal Boston.

"By this sinister plot, Democrats have been robbed of their colorful identity. We have lost control of one of the most powerful symbols of our Party, as well as a cherished heirloom of historical proportions.

"Instead, this advantage has been stolen from us -- like the election of 2000 -- and handed over to Republicans, who benefit from all the positive associations that relate to states that are healthy and thriving -- as people migrate there from Blue states. Red under this sinister scheme has come to stand for red-blooded, American, sanguine, healthy, ruddy, optimistic, lively, spirited and dashing.

"Democrats are now relegated to all manner of things associated with the color Blue. Blue stands for sad, lonely, gloomy, discouraged, depressed, rust-belt, blue nun, and out-of-the-blue policies that don’t work. Does this not conjure up images of an “Old America” versus a “New America”?

"We protest, and make a non-negotiable demand that these colors be rotated each and every election year.

"Alternatively, we demand that colors for Democrat-won states be adopted that are more in line with our hip and stylish Hollywood-like image, like mauve or fuscous."


TOPICS: Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: bluestates; redstates; vanitiesrus; vanityorama; vanityschmanity
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To: Salvation

Looks to me like a lot of Catholics voted for Kerry.


41 posted on 11/06/2004 4:05:39 AM PST by beckysueb (We won! WhooHoo!!!!!)
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To: Maceman
Bwaaaa-ha-ha!
42 posted on 11/06/2004 4:05:41 AM PST by Caipirabob (Democrats.. Socialists..Commies..Traitors...Who can tell the difference?)
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To: True_wesT

I heard about that. I'd like to see it, too. Also I heard the perky Katie Couric was tearful, too.


43 posted on 11/06/2004 4:09:07 AM PST by beckysueb (We won! WhooHoo!!!!!)
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To: ovs.in.texas

Alaska is all red, too.


44 posted on 11/06/2004 4:10:29 AM PST by beckysueb (We won! WhooHoo!!!!!)
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To: R. Scott

Kind of a pinkish purple.


45 posted on 11/06/2004 4:12:46 AM PST by beckysueb (We won! WhooHoo!!!!!)
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To: beckysueb

Pinkish purple? Thanks – I have seen that shade in stores, but never in use. Do people really like that color, other than on infants who have no choice?


46 posted on 11/06/2004 4:25:33 AM PST by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
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To: R. Scott
mauve = coal-tar violet


Mauve is all the rage among inferior desecraters. -- ed.
47 posted on 11/06/2004 5:38:35 AM PST by OESY
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To: beckysueb
Fuscous?? Don't they mean fuscia?

Please refer to Post #14.

(BTW, you used my old spelling, i.e., "fuscia," until I found out there is no such color or word.)

48 posted on 11/06/2004 5:41:52 AM PST by OESY
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To: OESY

When was Alaska renamed "Salamander" and copyrighted? I must have missed that.


49 posted on 11/06/2004 5:43:39 AM PST by Larry Lucido
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To: finnman69

I would have loved to see the break down by townships. It would be even more Republican


50 posted on 11/06/2004 5:47:15 AM PST by mware
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To: OESY; All
".......Who in this world ever decided that the electoral map should be divided between Red states for Republicans and Blue states for Democrats?..........."

Actually, I heard a Commentator remark (I can't remember which one) during the campaign that in the past (ie. 20 to 30 years ago) the 'Incumbent Party' was assigned the BLUE color in maps during elections. There was no permanent assignment of colors to a specific Party and the color assignment would follow this accepted procedure much the same as the 'Visiting Team' in sports is always put at the top (or first) and the 'Home Team' at the bottom, or second:

In other words........

Yankees 6
Red Sox 9

......automatically tells the reader that the game was played at Fenway Park and the Yankees were playing 'away' in a hostile stadium. The same goes for Football.

The Commentator remarked that this convention has been thrown out in recent years.

Dats what I heard.

51 posted on 11/06/2004 5:55:43 AM PST by DoctorMichael (The Fourth Estate is a Fifth Column!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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To: OESY

That’s about the color my daughter liked when she was 14 – back around the mid ‘80’s.
She outgrew it.


52 posted on 11/06/2004 6:27:36 AM PST by R. Scott (Humanity i love you because when you're hard up you pawn your Intelligence to buy a drink.)
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To: beckysueb

If you compare the faith map with the vote map you can readily see that many Catholic voted for Bush. OK?


53 posted on 11/06/2004 9:38:59 AM PST by Salvation (†With God all things are possible.†)
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To: Joe Miner

When you compare the Catholic areas to those areas that voted for Bush (counties, specifically) you will see that many Catholic voted for Bush.

I agree the map is a little misleading at first. Just take into account the main population centers and how they disenfranchise the rest of the state. For instance, most of New York State voted for Bush, but they were countered with all the dim voters in New York City.


54 posted on 11/06/2004 9:41:55 AM PST by Salvation (†With God all things are possible.†)
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