Posted on 12/04/2004 1:50:28 PM PST by chasio649
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.
5. Do not buy food at the movie store.
6. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent.
7. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
8. People walk slower here.
9. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.
10. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.
11. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.
12. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.
13. If attending a funeral in the South, remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down.
14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
15. Northerners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.
16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.
17. If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
18. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
19. Florida is not considered a southern state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there.
20. In southern churches you will hear the hymn, "All Glory, Laud and Honor". You will also here expressions such as, "Laud, have mercy", "Good Laud", and "Laudy, Laudy, Laudy".
21. You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
22. If you hear music from your neighbors house, join in on the chorus.
23. If you are a woman with a flat tire, don't worry - someone will be along shortly to change it for you. This is the South and we don't let our womenfolk change flat tires.
24. Yes, we do have garbage pickup twice a week here.
25. While you didn't realize it, the National Anthem does end with "Gentlemen Start Your Engines!"
26. However you did it in the North is of no concern to those of us in the South.
27. Flannel shirts can be considered formal wear in the wintertime.
28. Those nice white buildings on the street corners, across from the convenience stores, are called churches! Pick one and attend.
29. Learn to play softball.
30. Learn to eat watermelon. Seed spitting is optional but distance is a virtue.
31. You have 10 days to get your Alabama tape, Bear Bryant Cup and learn all of verses to "I'll Fly Away" after establishing residency. Get your drivers license when you get time to do it.
32. Learn to visit the Space and Rocket Center at least one time each year.
33. Appreciate leaving the house 30 minutes before concert time and being seated 10 minutes before concert time.
I have been as far south as Bakersfield and that was 50 miles too far for this Good Ole Boy...
Haaa! Love it!
It's not insecurity at all. We just don't give a flip how they did it up North and really get tired of hearing about it.
Funny thing is, I am related to Lester Flatt (just about all the Flatts in TN and TX and IL are related to each other, and my gggrandpa was a Flatt), and my husband has Scruggs relatives.
No wonder we like Bluegrass!
But I like it done Scottish, and he likes it done Tennessee!
And most folks don't even know they can take their keys OUT of the ignition.
--It's not insecurity at all. We just don't give a flip how they did it up North and really get tired of hearing about it.--
Ain't that the truth.
Shoot, that was the LAW until recently. Still is in most folks' minds.
Glock, Pete?
Toupsie, tell your story of how you used to leave your guns on the roof of the car while you went to school, and (A) nobody took them, and (B) nobody cared that you had them. Uhhh, I guess I already told it.
Did all y'all save your bacon greese in a crisco can under the sink?
You know, I havent even thought about that till you brought it up. Then I started going through all my kin that I could remember without going through the ancestor papers, I got to say this to the yankee's that the ancestor files start just before the big moves on down to the carolinas in around the 1735's or so., everyone else we have at the tip of our mind, right, Maria??? (this drives yankees crazy cause most of them don't have kin they want to remember.) I have been told by them that we do this cause we don't have anything else to do. I've told them it's because we like to remember the things our kin gave to anyone of our Southern Countries. I can't help it, (I'm glad to say) I'm a liffe member of the SCV and a regular MOS&B. It's nice talking with you Sis. KennyBob. God Bless Texas, and our Southern Nation
You know, I havent even thought about that till you brought it up. Then I started going through all my kin that I could remember without going through the ancestor papers, I got to say this to the yankee's that the ancestor files start just before the big moves on down to the carolinas in around the 1735's or so., everyone else we have at the tip of our mind, right, Maria??? (this drives yankees crazy cause most of them don't have kin they want to remember.) I have been told by them that we do this cause we don't have anything else to do. I've told them it's because we like to remember the things our kin gave to anyone of our Southern Countries. I can't help it, (I'm glad to say) I'm a liffe member of the SCV and a regular MOS&B. It's nice talking with you Sis. KennyBob. God Bless Texas, and our Southern Nation
LOL!
I used to save mine in any old tin can, but my grandmother still saves her bacon grease in a Crisco can.
Num 3 is true. When I moved back here after 25 years away, I was driving to work and had a flat. I swear not more than 3 minutes after I got off the road, a pickup with three men appeared, they jumped out and walked toward me. I backed up with hands up and told them my purse was in the car, just take the money and don't hurt me. They laughed and laughed while they changed my tire and refused my paying them. Every once in a while one would look mean over at me, I would flinch, and he would laugh some more. Women never change tires here.
dixie bump
The *real* South has neither Giant nor Safeway. We have Piggly Wiggly and Winn Dixie.
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