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What's a peacenik to do when son joins Army?
Chicago Sun-Times ^ | December 24, 2004 | CATHLEEN FALSANI RELIGION WRITER

Posted on 12/24/2004 8:22:32 AM PST by Chi-townChief

Let's say you're a big peacenik. Card-carrying. World class. You marched in anti-war protests and sat in sit-ins when you were a college student during the Vietnam War. Maybe you even got tear-gassed while holding hands with Mary from Peter, Paul and Mary during a particularly nasty protest in front of the Conrad Hilton back in '68.

You've been arrested dozens of times for civil disobedience, continue to march, or sit, or picket, or shout on behalf of peace, and are one of the loudest voices in Chicago against President Bush and what you consider to be his immoral war in Iraq.

Now, let's say you have a son.

And he decides to join the Army.

What do you do?

That's what the Rev. Michael Pfleger, the activist pastor of Chicago's St. Sabina Roman Catholic Church and die-hard peacenik in question, asked himself when his eldest son, 30-year-old Lamar Michael Pfleger, called home in late August to say he'd enlisted.

"When he first told me that this was something he had made a decision to do, I was shocked, I have to admit that," Mike Pfleger told me this month as the three of us -- Mike in his black-on-black priestly garb and worried expression, Lamar in his new Army fatigues with the word PFLEGER printed in black, capital letters over his right chest -- chatted at the St. Sabina's parsonage, where Lamar grew up after Pfleger adopted him 21 years ago.

"He basically told me after he'd enlisted," the elder Pfleger said. "He knew where I stood, but he'd made up his mind."

Son's decision

In truth, Mike Pfleger was heartsick.

As an activist priest who insists we're fighting an unjust, preemptive war based on lies, yes. But more so, as, simply, a dad.

"I told him, I cannot feel good about it because he's my son, and I love him and I care about him," the normally bombastic priest said quietly. "My prayer for him and for Beronti, my other son, every day is for their safety and that they can achieve their goals. And that's my prayer for him, that he will achieve whatever dreams and goals God has for him. And I support him 100 percent in his decision. It's not my decision. And it shouldn't be. It should be his."

Lamar Pfleger is strapping, soft-spoken and African American, the opposite in many ways of his father, the blond, blue-eyed firebrand. But they share a stubborn streak, as well as a sense of spiritual mission.

A few years ago, Lamar was working for an airline in a job he loved. But then 9/11 happened and everything changed. The airlines suffered and jobs were cut. He survived the first round of layoffs, but not the second. A few years later, he found himself working as the assistant manager of a video store, depressed and unfulfilled. In prayer he felt God leading him to join the military, he told me.

"I knew I could be doing a lot more besides what I was doing. That's pretty much why I decided to go in," he said. "I'd rather go over there and stop them before they come over here and start doing it. And that's my point. . . . If I can prevent that from happening, I'll sleep better at night, too."

Childhood restrictions

This from a kid who wasn't allowed to play with toy guns as a child. "Not even squirt guns," his father said, proudly. "I got a cowboy gun once for my birthday, and he told me I had to take it back," Lamar recalled. "From then on, I should have known what kind of protest I was in for."

A few days earlier, I had called the elder Pfleger to wish him a Merry Christmas. "And how are your boys?" I asked. (In addition to Lamar, Pfleger has a younger son, 25-year-old Beronti, whom he adopted 13 years ago.)

All I heard on the other end of the line was a heavy sigh. I prodded and Mike told me how he'd just returned from Lamar's graduation from basic training in Georgia and how he'd cried through the whole thing. Happily, Mike said, Lamar -- "thank you, Jesus" -- had been assigned to a base in Seattle for at least a year.

When the three of us got together, I asked Lamar about his assignment in a combat striker unit of the 2nd Infantry at Fort Lewis in Seattle.

I kind of wish I hadn't.

The son took a deep breath, eyes darting to the ceiling, nostrils flaring nervously, and looked at his father.

"I've been assigned to Fort Lewis where I'll be taking classes and just staying in physical shape and probably be on standby until I'm possibly deployed. There's a good chance . . ." Lamar said, pausing uncomfortably, and turning toward his father. "I didn't want to tell my dad that, but there's a good chance I might be [deployed to Iraq]."

The father blanched visibly, but remained silent and tried to smile.

This must be killing him, I thought.

"Coming home, you know, missing a limb, that scares me more than anything," Lamar continued. "I would like to go by the phrase, 'Take all of me or take none of me.' . . . I'll be praying for myself, 'God, please forgive me for whatever I have to do.' But in the long run, it's something I have to do," he said.

'Death . . . anywhere'

Mike Pfleger is praying that his son won't be sent to Iraq.

"If he does, I'll continue to pray for his safety, no matter where he is," the priest said. "You don't have to be in Iraq to get maimed or killed. It can happen on a street. My youngest son, Jarvis, died here, three blocks away from here. So I know that harm or danger or death can come anywhere."

(Pfleger's foster son Jarvis was killed in gang crossfire seven years ago at the age of 17.)

"I just don't want my dad to worry," Lamar said.

"Not much hope of that, but he's gonna be all right because prayer is powerful," Mike Pfleger said, reaching out and touching his son's shoulder. "You're gonna be all right."

U.S. Army Pvt. Lamar Pfleger reports for duty Jan. 16.

And our prayers go with him.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Extended News; News/Current Events; US: Illinois; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: genx; militaryfamilies; peaceniks; pfleger
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The answer to this one is easy, even for flaky Father Mike:

Thank the good Lord for Lamar's courageous decision to defend all of us and pray for his safety and success.

1 posted on 12/24/2004 8:22:32 AM PST by Chi-townChief
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To: Chi-townChief

ROFLMHO! Since Pfleger's not supposed to have kids anyway, I find this deliciously ironic. :-)


2 posted on 12/24/2004 8:26:46 AM PST by BlessedBeGod (George W. Bush -- The Terror of the Terrorists)
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To: Chi-townChief
"When he first told me that this was something he had made a decision to do, I was shocked, I have to admit that,"

Cut the cord, pop. Your son is more grown up than you are.

3 posted on 12/24/2004 8:27:07 AM PST by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all)
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To: Chi-townChief

Best wishes to the young man, and may God keep him safe.

I sympathize with his father, even though I disagree with him ... it's very hard for any parent to have a child reject your strongly-held convictions.


4 posted on 12/24/2004 8:27:08 AM PST by Tax-chick (Benedicere cor tuo! Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?)
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To: Chi-townChief

You do what every parent should do. Love and support your children, and uphold their dignity.


5 posted on 12/24/2004 8:27:56 AM PST by GVnana (If I had a Buckhead moment would I know it?)
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To: Chi-townChief
And I support him 100 percent in his decision.

I don't believe him.

6 posted on 12/24/2004 8:28:47 AM PST by Drango (Those who advocate robbing (taxing) Peter to pay Paul...will always have the support of Paul.)
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To: Chi-townChief
God Bless Him

An American Expat in Southeast Asia

7 posted on 12/24/2004 8:29:19 AM PST by expatguy ("Fallujah Delenda Est!")
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To: Chi-townChief

I'm glad his father is supporting his decision - but may if his son does go to Iraq he will get a different perspective about what is really going on over there than what the liberal talking points are telling him how to think each day.


8 posted on 12/24/2004 8:31:37 AM PST by Jo5329 (Merry Christmas and Happy New Year)
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To: Chi-townChief

Say what you will about Fr. Mike's politics, but he must have been a good parent.


9 posted on 12/24/2004 8:31:55 AM PST by Redcloak ("FOUR MORE BEERS! FOUR MORE BEERS! FOUR MORE BEERS!" -Teresa Heinz Kerry)
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To: BlessedBeGod

"ROFLMHO! Since Pfleger's not supposed to have kids anyway, I find this deliciously ironic. :-)"

Yeah, no kidding! I, too, wonder how a catholic priest has kids!?!


10 posted on 12/24/2004 8:34:28 AM PST by Maria S
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To: BlessedBeGod

Is that true? I know it's a Roman Catholic church, but it describes him as a pastor, not a priest. I am not a Catholic, so I don't know what a pastor is in the context of Roman Catholicism or whether pastors have to take a vow of celibacy.


11 posted on 12/24/2004 8:34:36 AM PST by Piranha
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To: Chi-townChief
There are times that God uses ways to change minds and hearts.

Obviously the son grew up and felt in his heart that daddy was wrong-headed!! He decided not to be like him.

12 posted on 12/24/2004 8:34:58 AM PST by LADY J
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To: Maria S; Piranha

He adopted him, even though priests are forbidden to adopt. Our former cardinal was useless and so didn't bother to try and stop him.


13 posted on 12/24/2004 8:36:50 AM PST by BlessedBeGod (George W. Bush -- The Terror of the Terrorists)
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To: BlessedBeGod
Since Pfleger's not supposed to have kids anyway, I find this deliciously ironic.

Sounds like he adopted. Is that forbidden?

14 posted on 12/24/2004 8:37:21 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (Interdum feror cupidine partium magnarum europe vincendarum (Merry Christmas))
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To: LADY J

Suicide is the only option.


15 posted on 12/24/2004 8:37:28 AM PST by satan
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To: Chi-townChief
What's a peacenik to do when son joins Army?

1. Suck it up.

2. Be very proud that you have raised a son to be a better man than you are. That is all any of us can hope to do.

So9

16 posted on 12/24/2004 8:37:50 AM PST by Servant of the 9 (Trust Me)
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To: Chi-townChief; american colleen; Lady In Blue; Salvation; narses; SMEDLEYBUTLER; redhead; ...
Thank the good Lord for Lamar's courageous decision to defend all of us and pray for his safety and success.

Moral of the story for ultra lib parents: When the kids ask for water pistols, buy them two + a water canon ;-D


Rev. Dr. Michael L. Pfleger

Father Michael Pfleger - A priest with a mission

Catholic Ping - please freepmail me if you want on/off this list


17 posted on 12/24/2004 8:38:14 AM PST by NYer ("Blessed be He who by His love has given life to all." - final prayer of St. Charbel)
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To: Piranha
I know it's a Roman Catholic church, but it describes him as a pastor, not a priest.

A pastor is a priest who pastors the flock at that particular parish. IOW, he's in charge.

18 posted on 12/24/2004 8:40:05 AM PST by NYer ("Blessed be He who by His love has given life to all." - final prayer of St. Charbel)
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To: Chi-townChief

It's all about the peacenik and how he feels.
How typical, tired, and dull.


19 posted on 12/24/2004 8:40:57 AM PST by mabelkitty (Blackwell for Governor in 2006!!!)
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To: Chi-townChief
This from a kid who wasn't allowed to play with toy guns as a child.

In my experience, these are the folks who turn out to be damn fine marksmen.

20 posted on 12/24/2004 8:41:04 AM PST by Horatio Gates
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