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Democrats Ponder Why Kerry Did So Well
scrappleface.com ^ | 2005-01-02 | Scott Ott

Posted on 01/03/2005 2:23:46 PM PST by NYTexan

Almost two months after election day, Democrat strategists continue to debate John Kerry's loss to George Bush, wondering how Mr. Kerry failed to lose by a landslide.

"It's baffling," said Democrat National Committee (DNC) Chairman Terry McAuliffe, "He had all the earmarks of a devastating, 10-million-vote, 49-state defeat. And yet he only lost by a few million in the popular vote and cut it pretty close in the Electoral College."

The debate over how Mr. Kerry managed a mediocre performance rather than a crushing embarrassment threatens to tear the fabric of Democrat party unity.

On the one side, many strategists think President Bush should have beaten Mr. Kerry "like a steel drum" due to the latter's lack of guiding principles, reasonable ideas, tolerable personality or track record of accomplishment.

On the other side, a raft of consultants continues to pore over precinct spreadsheets trying to calculate why more people don't hate George Bush.

"If we can solve this riddle," said Mr. McAuliffe, "Our 2008 candidate will be able to return us to the halcyon days of Mondale and Dukakis."

Meanwhile, he said, pundits and pols ponder the central question: "How can a man who stands for so little still get the support of about 50 million voters?"

Mr. Kerry, who is also a U.S. Senator, still attributes his "virtual victory" showing to curiosity.

"I think many Americans were curious to see my plan," he said. "My whole strategy was to tease them with it during the campaign, so they would be burning to get a glimpse of it by November. It worked. Without that plan, sculptors would be chiseling my face on the Democrat Mount Rushmore, right next to Walter and Michael."


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: kerrydefeat; scrappleface; truth
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Satire Break!
1 posted on 01/03/2005 2:23:47 PM PST by NYTexan
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To: cherry; Dead Corpse; texasflower; SeeRushToldU_So; oldbrowser; TheRatHunter; StoneGiant; ...

Pinging the usual suspects!



(anyone wanting on or off the satire ping list, let me know!)


2 posted on 01/03/2005 2:24:47 PM PST by NYTexan
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To: NYTexan

Satire my rearend...I agree with this!!
lol

Why did he even come so close!


3 posted on 01/03/2005 2:26:29 PM PST by snarkytart
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To: NYTexan

Did you read on Drudge that Kerry said in an interview:

"We didn't lose. We just didn't win."


4 posted on 01/03/2005 2:26:39 PM PST by Peach
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To: NYTexan
"How can a man who stands for so little still get the support of about 50 million voters?"

I know the question is asked in jest, but there is a serious answer to the question: It's because there are about 50 million voters out there who stand for so little.

5 posted on 01/03/2005 2:28:23 PM PST by My2Cents
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To: snarkytart

I had the same question. Too d*mn close for comfort...


6 posted on 01/03/2005 2:28:32 PM PST by eureka! (It will not be safe to vote Democrat for a long, long, time...)
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To: NYTexan
Hey, speaking of The Plan To Save Us In Iraq--is he going to petulantly keep it to himself because he lost? I mean, he cares so much for our troops, why doesn't he call a press conference, share The Plan of Plans, and challenge Bush to carry it out--for our troops?

I mean, come on, Johnnnyboy, show up the ones (like me) who think you never had a plan.

7 posted on 01/03/2005 2:29:50 PM PST by Darkwolf377 (Cram it, LATheads)
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To: Peach
"We didn't lose. We just didn't win."

Man, this guy is full of great lines! It sounds like, We lost before we won."

8 posted on 01/03/2005 2:30:01 PM PST by My2Cents
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To: Darkwolf377
speaking of The Plan To Save Us In Iraq

That plan was clear: Turn Iraq over to the French. I guess after Vietnam, the French owe it to us to take Iraq off our hands (or so Kerry's reason must be).

9 posted on 01/03/2005 2:31:43 PM PST by My2Cents
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To: NYTexan
"How can a man who stands for so little still get the support of about 50 million voters?"

I realize this is a satirical article from "ScrappleFace", but it's still a valid question!

10 posted on 01/03/2005 2:32:14 PM PST by GreenHornet
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To: Peach
"We didn't lose. We just didn't win."

Was that the election or is he having flashbacks to his days in Vietnam again?

11 posted on 01/03/2005 2:33:43 PM PST by KarlInOhio (In a just world, Arafat would have died at the end of a rope.)
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To: My2Cents

LOL.

And in the same interview he said:

"The pundits didn't like me. Was it my looks? My voice?"

#1. The pundits didn't ask him a single hard question.

#2. The Democrats are obsessed with their looks.

Maybe the people figured all that out.


12 posted on 01/03/2005 2:33:44 PM PST by Peach
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To: My2Cents
Turn Iraq over to the French.

Maybe the French would ban the hijab in Iraq, too ;)

13 posted on 01/03/2005 2:34:11 PM PST by AM2000 (I am not responsible for the contents of this post.)
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To: NYTexan
Dennis Prager, The Second American Civil War
14 posted on 01/03/2005 2:34:16 PM PST by onedoug
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To: NYTexan
I dunno - he seemed to have it all working for him. He had the silly-a$$ picture like Dukakis. He had the East-coast insularity. He had the high-priced consultants and the media darlings. He had every ingredient of a truly epochal humiliation and he didn't bring it off.

The problem was Michael Moore. Not sure just how, but it seems like a good idea to blame him for something.

15 posted on 01/03/2005 2:34:28 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: NYTexan

I actually agree with this article-

How did Kerry come as close as he did???

Is it just the media whores shilling for him?


16 posted on 01/03/2005 2:35:09 PM PST by Mr. K (Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. god Bless America, Our Troops, W, and Ann Coulter!)
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To: My2Cents

It is because 59 million voters would stand for anything.


17 posted on 01/03/2005 2:35:17 PM PST by exit82 (Iran and Syria......the bombing should have started five minutes ago.)
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To: NYTexan

Honestly, it wasn't until the Mondale/Dukakis line that I noticed it was a joke.


18 posted on 01/03/2005 2:35:35 PM PST by G32
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To: NYTexan
"I think many Americans were curious to see my plan,"

Kerry is such an idiot.

19 posted on 01/03/2005 2:36:32 PM PST by Jeff Gordon (Now is the time for all wise men to gloat. FOUR MORE YEARS,)
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To: Jeff Gordon

The media gave Kerry at least a 15% edge.


20 posted on 01/03/2005 2:38:32 PM PST by sarasotarepublican (Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.)
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