Lawyer-joke tellers hire...a lawyer (Update on the two old dudes arrested for telling lawyer jokes!)

Overlawyered.com ^ | 1/15/05 | Walter Olson

[Libloather]

What's the only difference between lawyers and vultures?

The wing tips...

[armyman]

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Such number as may be deemed necesary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the folowing agrement: Whereas the party of the first part also known as "Lawyer," and the party of the second part, also known as "Lightbulb," do hearby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Lightbulb) shall be removed from the current position. The afore mentioned removal transaction shall include, but not limited to, the following steps:
1)the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepsool, ladder, or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Lightbulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Lightbulb)in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being nonnegotiable.
2) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Lightbulb)becomes separated from the party of the third part (Receptacle) the party of the first part(Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing the party of the second part (Lightbulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local, and federal statutes.

[armyman]

we must have the same book: "Lawyers Jokes, Quotes, and Anecdotes

[Indy Pendance]

I don't have a book, but everyone thinks lawyers are slime (even my decent lawyer friends), I get lot's of emails on it from my circle of acquaintances.

[Indy Pendance]

Plus, bashing lawyers is a good Saturday night activity...

[TheDon]

LOL!

[TheDon]

Was it a bad joke or something?

[writer33]

"This kind of oppression is typical in France, but my goodness I thought we were above it!"

Chances are it'll never go to trial. It does tell us the kind of people we're dealing with.

[TalBlack]

"Chances are it'll never go to trial. It does tell us the kind of people we're dealing with."

Trial schmial. Two men were arrested and handcuffed over this. So what if it never goes to trial? We are at the point that it is an easy thing to find people in a position of authority who will do something like this.

There are things which on their face are not subject to dipute in court or before a desk sgt. Sadly it is past time for a rope and a lampost.

[WestVirginiaRebel]

An engineer dies and winds up in Hell. He doesn't like the way things are and starts making improvements, and pretty soon the engineer is a popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan and says with a sneer, "So, how are things going down there?"

"Things are going great!" Satan replies. "We've got an engineer working for us, and now we've got air conditioning, escelators, and cold showers."

"What???" God exclaims. "He doesn't belong down there! Send him up here right away, or I'll sue!"

Satan laughs and says, "Yeah, right. Like where are you going to get a lawyer?"

[catonsville]

The Classic

"What do you call 600 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?"

[writer33]

"We are at the point that it is an easy thing to find people in a position of authority who will do something like this."

Like I said, "It tells us a lot about the kind of people they are."

[AnAmericanMother]

"pingalingaling" . . .

sounds like that old song, "The Bells of Hell".

[AnAmericanMother]

A good start?

What do you call 500 lawyers up to their necks in sand?

[Dustbunny]

His lips are moving.

[Farnham]

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

One's a bottom dwelling scum sucker.

The other is a fish.

[nicmarlo]

lol (uh, who sang that unfamiliar song....or u b talking 'bout Hell's Bells by ACDC?)

[NewRomeTacitus]

Were these the two old guys?

Statler: "How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?"

Waldorf: "Cut the rope."

[pinz-n-needlez]

If the trial is on Court TV, we'll be able to decide for ourselves! ;-)

Pinz

[AnAmericanMother]

"The Bells of Hell" was originally a Salvation Army ditty (they were quite rowdy in their early days in the London slums), and was widely sung in the British Army during WWI.

The Bells of Hell (Words and music, with MIDI file).

"The bells of hell go ting-a-ling-a-ling
For you but not for me.
For me the angels sing-a-ling-a-ling
Death holds no fears for me.
Oh death where is thy sting-a-ling-a-ling
Oh grave thy victory?
The bells of hell go ting-a-ling-a-ling
For you but not for me."

Kinda catchy, you can dance (or march) to it, I give it a 7.