Posted on 02/03/2005 12:43:27 PM PST by Allosaurs_r_us
Osama's Valentine (Vanity, Humor)
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian Saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?
"Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says, "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama Bin Laden," she says.
"Why Osama Bin Laden?" her father asks in shock.
"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot and then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore.
"Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new-found pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, our Marines could blow his ass to Kingdom Come."
*snort*
Love it!
If I ever have a daughter I want her to be just like Melissa.
A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"
She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."
Hey! I think you plagarized a joke I stole!!
Good one! Except I found it in News/Activism...
Even though it is plainly marked "Vanity, Humor", it is listed in News/Activism. I'm not complaining, let me state. Just thought you might want to know.
LOL!
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