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Exposed as a Fraudulent Native American, Ward Churchill Embraces His Asian Female Heritage
2/8/5
| Ima Mamasan, Associated Press Typist
Posted on 02/08/2005 3:56:44 PM PST by dead
BOULDER, Colo. - Stung by recent revelations that left his decades-old American Indian persona in tatters, controversial University of Colorado professor, Ward Churchill announced today that he is no longer claiming to be a Native American man. Appearing in a flowery satin kimono and faux kabuki hairstyle, Churchill revealed to the world that he has always been a petite Asian girl.
“For too long, I ran from my heritage, ashamed and outcast,” Professor Churchill told a gathering of his rapt, semi-literate, trustafarian followers, “The persecution I suffered, as an Asian woman, is a legacy of Eurocentric colonialism from which those of us who have endured it may never recover.”
Newly Asian Professor, Ward Churchill
Asked if the sudden change in Churchill’s ethnic background and sex bothered him, one of his loyal students, David Rhone answered simply, “Dude!” while his chronically-unemployed friend, Jo-Jo, tunelessly plucked a Japanese koto in inappropriate accompaniment.
“Shut up! You shut the f#ck up! He has a right to his free speech!” added a supporter known only as Firefly, before she jumped off the second story balcony to protest allegedly environmentally-destructive US agricultural practices.
“Why can’t you just leave him alone, hater! He’s suffered enough!” she moaned from the hood of the car she landed on. “I think my spine is broken and I don’t have healthcare, you fascists!”
“I just pray to Buddah that somebody will blow up a busload of school children so that those who are denied unending welfare payments can at last have the measure of retribution they so richly deserve,” muttered the professor as he desperately searched for a television camera.
TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: dancingwithchochosan; madambutterfly; wardchurchill
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1
posted on
02/08/2005 3:56:44 PM PST
by
dead
To: dead
To: dead; Ernest_at_the_Beach; Liz; SierraWasp; MeekOneGOP
3
posted on
02/08/2005 3:58:27 PM PST
by
Grampa Dave
(The MSM has been a WMD, Weapon of Mass Disinformation for the Rats for at least 4 decades.)
To: dead
LOL!
Check out the name of the writer....ROFL!!
4
posted on
02/08/2005 3:58:39 PM PST
by
Dog
To: dead
5
posted on
02/08/2005 3:59:04 PM PST
by
evolved_rage
(Sign the 180 Johnny F'ing Kerry Heinz)
To: dead
Nice satirical dagger into professional con-man/psychopath Churchill's evil heart.
6
posted on
02/08/2005 3:59:08 PM PST
by
FormerACLUmember
(Honoring Saint Jude's assistance every day.)
To: mhking; nutmeg
For your ping list.
Some great humor is here!
7
posted on
02/08/2005 3:59:23 PM PST
by
Grampa Dave
(The MSM has been a WMD, Weapon of Mass Disinformation for the Rats for at least 4 decades.)
To: dead
If this comes to pass you will be an icon.
ROTFLMAO
8
posted on
02/08/2005 4:01:19 PM PST
by
highflight
(from a distance - buzzards might appear as eagles.)
To: dead
"... and I don't have healthcare" Priceless!
9
posted on
02/08/2005 4:08:58 PM PST
by
NonValueAdded
("We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good" HRC 6/28/2004)
To: dead
“Why can’t you just leave him alone, hater! He’s suffered enough!” she moaned from the hood of the car she landed on. “I think my spine is broken and I don’t have healthcare, you fascists!” This is really really good.
To: dead
Dude, I'm speechless.
This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen...
11
posted on
02/08/2005 4:13:33 PM PST
by
dandelion
(http://thequestionfairy.blogspot.com/)
To: dead
12
posted on
02/08/2005 4:14:48 PM PST
by
ChewedGum
(aka King of Fools)
To: Grampa Dave
13
posted on
02/08/2005 4:17:55 PM PST
by
MeekOneGOP
(There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
To: dead
I had to check twice to make sure this wasn't from Scrappleface...lol. Funny.
14
posted on
02/08/2005 4:18:55 PM PST
by
moonpie57
(Fred Howell McMurray, Jr...The man on my POW bracelet)
To: dead
I love you, no sh*t! You marry me, take me PX, Yes?
15
posted on
02/08/2005 4:21:35 PM PST
by
ORECON
(Condi Rice/Donald Rumsfield - 2008)
To: Grampa Dave; dead
ROFL!
Good work by ~~~ Ima Mamasan, Associated Press Typist ~~~
chuckle!!!
16
posted on
02/08/2005 4:23:40 PM PST
by
Ernest_at_the_Beach
(A Proud member of Free Republic ~~The New Face of the Fourth Estate since 1996.)
To: Vision Thing
He love you no s**t, you buy him air conditioning.
17
posted on
02/08/2005 4:24:30 PM PST
by
Desron13
To: dead
I didn't know they had that much hemp in Colorado.
To: dead; aculeus; general_re; hellinahandcart; Happygal
19
posted on
02/08/2005 4:30:26 PM PST
by
dighton
To: dead
Oh, Missa Deat, you numbah one.
20
posted on
02/08/2005 4:35:43 PM PST
by
facedown
(Armed in the Heartland)
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