If I remember right, the host in question was Howie's predecessor in that time slot, the late Jerry Williams. It was a snowy Friday afternoon and Ted had been into the Chivas, as usual
Posted on 02/11/2005 11:52:16 AM PST by raccoonradio
Senator Kennedy, what about the children?
Oh sure, the cost of that helicopter ride last May 21 was a mere $2,490 - a small enough price to pay, to be sure, for the septuagenarian statesman to avoid missing happy hour in Hyannisport.
And it wasn't just another happy hour, either. It was Friday night, date number one, after Thirsty Thursday. Not Memorial Day, but close enough to a ``traditional family weekend,'' as the senator put it after the Au Bar unpleasantness in Palm Beach with Cousin Sluggo Smith on Good Friday.
But the senator should understand that this is a new era we live in. Once upon a time, it was just a handful of ink-stained wretches calling attention to these little perks. Now, there's a new thing called . . . the Internet.
Since Al Gore invented ``the Web,'' everything has changed. Why, just last week, a certain mean-spirited columnist/talk show host used it to send an audiotape to a right-wing Web site in which Teddy hiccupped on a local TV cable show, ``Torture is an American value.''
Then, like Eason Jordan of CNN, he corrected himself. But I digress.
These days, when a story breaks, it breaks worldwide, and if you think the 37 percent of the Massachusetts electorate who voted for George Bush are tough, you should see what they were saying about Teddy after the story about the $2,490 helicopter ride was posted on places like Free Republic and Lucianne.
A guy with the handle Fighter@Heart asked why Teddy didn't go home in a submarine ``so he could at least wave to old girlfriends!''
Uncle Vlad, you'll pardon the expression, weighed in: ``$2,500?! Did they charge by the pound?''
The only one who didn't feel the need to post, apparently, was the pilot of the chopper. Imagine the horror he must have felt as he saw who was waddling toward the craft as his next passenger.
I mean, this is a guy whose boat has run aground, and whose mother's Oldsmobile he once took on a voyage to the bottom of the sea.
What did the helicopter pilot say? Probably a good Act of Contrition.
``Too bad,'' said a poster named jdmii, ``he didn't try to get into the USS Oldsmobile and try to pilot it home (after his quart of breakfast of course.)''
Soon photos of Chinook helicopters were posted on the various sites. Then the Sikorsky SkyCrane. Next came the recreations of the SkyCrane in the air, towing a net underneath, with Teddy in the net wearing a bathing suit while holding a cocktail.
But listen, cut the man some slack. Next to former Grand Kleagle Bob Byrd, he's the longest serving member of the U.S. Senate. You can't expect a man of his august stature to actually share the roadways with lesser mortals, especially on a Friday afternoon in late May.
Forget driving, Ted can get into trouble just riding in a car. There's something about motion that multiplies the effects of alcohol - remember the afternoon many years ago when he was angry at this newspaper for reporting on his high adventures on the high seas, and he was trying to force Rupert Murdoch to sell this sheet.
He called into a radio talk show and began denouncing Murdoch, whom he kept calling ``Rudolph.'' He also informed the host that he was tired of listening to his ``dribble.'' Not drivel, dribble.
The point is, and even some of the senator's critics mentioned it, is this is the sort of man you want behind the wheel of an automobile?
A mere $2,490. It would have been a bargain at twice the price.
Ping to yet another Free Republic mention in the press. Although it's not in a bad way :-)
"A guy with the handle Fighter@Heart asked why Teddy didn't go home in a submarine 'so he could at least wave to old girlfriends!'"
Priceless. LOL.
Howie Carr is definitely a reader. He mentions FR a lot. He does an excellent show; too bad there aren't more internet slots for those outside his broadcast area.
Thank goodness for Gore.. inventing the internet...
Would someone please post the "Ted In The Net" picture they mention?
Thanks in advance.
Ping.
I loved the "USS Oldsmobile" quote!
Yup, too bad that there aren't more slots on the Net to hear him--email your local _good_ talk radio station and ask them to consider carrying Howie (http://www.howiecarr.com). Even if they have to tape
delay him because they're carrying Hannity in the late
afternoon...
Hilarious, how did I miss that thread!
LOL. Great article.
Seems as if Carr doesn't care much for Teddy.
"Thank goodness for Gore.. inventing the internet..."
Wait a minute, did you say AlGore Invented the internet? Who knew????
BTTT
Check out when Howie does "The Wizard of Uhs", a contest where he gives away "crappy CDs" for those who successfully can count how many times Ted says "uh" in a sound bite. "Don't be fooled by him when he stammers,
'I-I-I-I-I' or 'the-the-the-the-the', we only want 'uhs'.
All decisions by the judge are final. I am the judge."
Don't forget "Obama Bin Laden" or "Obama Osama". Or was it "Osama Obama"?
Heheh, on a more serious note, be careful what you post here on FRee Republic about Teddy. He lurks here frequently and has been known to post under the handle LastDanceForMarryJo...
If I remember right, the host in question was Howie's predecessor in that time slot, the late Jerry Williams. It was a snowy Friday afternoon and Ted had been into the Chivas, as usual
It was on a secret mission into Cambodia with his buddy "John" when he got the idea.
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