Posted on 02/19/2005 10:58:11 AM PST by srm913
Want longer life for wife? Let her argue with you
LONDON - A WOMAN who keeps quiet during an argument with her husband is four times more likely to die from heart disease and other causes, according to a study published in the American Heart Association (AHA) journal.
Researchers believe women who argue with their husbands are warding off heart disease and other causes of death.
And women whose work had a disruptive effect on their home lives were twice as likely to develop heart disease.
The researchers studied 3,700 people in Framingham, Massachusetts, over a 10-year period, the BBC reported.
The joint Boston University and Wisconsin-based Eaker Epidemiology Enterprises team also found that marriage suited men as husbands only had half the chance of dying from heart disease as unmarried men.
Lead researcher Elaine Eaker said doctors should be looking for signs of marital stress to refer patients for counselling.
'We believe we have found characteristics of marriages that have an impact on people's health and longevity.
'While medical care providers are not specifically trained to intervene on psychosocial issues such as marital characteristics, they may be the most likely contact to observe or uncover these characteristics or emotions.'
A second study of 35,000 women by the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta looked at the link between cardiovascular disease and work.
It found unemployed women looking for work reported the worst physical health, with nearly a third having high blood pressure and 6 per cent suffering a heart attack, stroke or chest pain.
At least one British doctor has disputed the research published in the AHA, saying it should be treated with a 'pinch of salt'.
'We need to remind ourselves that we self-select into certain groups. People who choose to get married have different characteristics from those who do not. So they may be more or less at risk of developing health problems.
'We cannot be sure that the research is comparing 'like with like', ' said Sir Alexander Macara, of the National Heart Forum.
HUH??? Bill doesn't argue back. He takes it like a lil' bitch.
Actually, I read that one particular fight between the two resulted in broken glass and smashed cupboards in the kitchen of the Arkansas governor's mansion.
D1 ~ You speak from wisdom.
I have been married to my husband for 41 years. Let me help you guys out on this "let her argue" bit. It's not quite as bad as it sounds.
There are some women who, because of inner insecurities, hold everything in and feel afraid to speak their minds. Giving them the opportunity to express themselves can increase their confidence in themselves, in the marriage, and in their husbands. And it alleviates the stress in their lives that causes bad things such as heart attacks.
Now, what you said, D1, is the key. She might be inhibited and needs to work some things out with a loving, understanding husband. However, she must be a rational human being. As you say, this is key.
That's key for both genders. As well as an understanding of the difference between what women see as rational and men see as rational in the relationship.
Oh yeah ... that Venus/Mars thing ;)
Otherwise referred to as "trench warfare."
THAT is fun-ny...
And I should have added the punch line. That she suggested the outing, but on the way back to the car in the rain she bitched at you for suggesting going to the comedy club.
Well, in my experience I wouldn't exactly refer to it as trench warfare. But there truly are differences in perspective in what is important, what is not between men and women.
For instance, I don't think men have an affinity for talking things out. My husband credits Tim the Toolman for giving him great wisdom (lol).
My husband and I are such good friends that there are few "wars" or turf battles. Marriage is an evolution, and all 41 years have been a wonderful adventure.
Well, in my experience I wouldn't exactly refer to it as trench warfare. But there truly are differences in perspective in what is important, what is not between men and women.
For instance, I don't think men have an affinity for talking things out. My husband credits Tim the Toolman for giving him great wisdom (lol).
My husband and I are such good friends that there are few "wars" or turf battles. Marriage is an evolution, and all 41 years have been a wonderful adventure.
It's great that you have that kind of relationship.
At this point, is it the voice OR the sight of her that makes you cringe the most? ;-)
one word response:
no.
The front line of a free man.
Her: "Honey do these pants/dress make me look fat?"
Him: "Yes they do. I love you and will not lie. Now let me help you find something that makes you look beautiful."
Tell the truth but OFFER to help her find the solution. (she may not accept, but be prepared to follow through if she does.)
Face the facts the ladies KNOW they make them look fat and they are just fishing for a lie to enable their delusion they are not fat.
(flame suit on.)
Funny and cute.
Thanks.
You marriage sounds like it has a good helping of common sense.
common sense is not allowed in the PC universe.
I would never advocate either partner remain silent, grinding away. Discussions are healthy. Arguements are seldom so. Accepting differences is a good thing at times.
Yes, right again D1.
You really nailed it. PC does not make a happy marriage.
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