Posted on 03/21/2005 1:35:43 PM PST by quidnunc
Turnabout is only fair play, I guess. Considering that official Canada routinely takes cheap shots at the United States for supposedly being a war-mongering state run by born-again Neanderthals, it was only a matter of time before someone down south decided to return the favour.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "The Great White Waste of Time," the cover story from the latest issue (dated today) of the Weekly Standard, an unabashedly American conservative publication.
In the piece, writer Matt Labash cuts right to the chase, saying he regards Canada "as most Americans do, as North America's attic, a mildewy recess that adds little value to the house, but serves as excellent dead space for stashing Nazi war criminals, drawing-room socialists and hockey goons."
Hey! There's no hockey goons here this year. They're all playing in Europe!
But wait. It gets better. Canadians are a "docile, Zamboni-driving people who subsist on seal casserole and Molson. Their hobbies include wearing flannel, obsessing over American hegemony, exporting deadly mad cow disease and even deadlier Gordon Lightfoot and Nickelback albums."
Well, so far I'm just relieved that he hasn't mentioned Celine Dion.
And for the record, Matt, I don't particularly like seal casserole, preferring instead polar bear steaks done on the barbecue during that one day in July when there's no snow on the ground.
-snip-
"In a sense," writes Labash, "Canada is the perfect place for American quitters, as it evidences self-loathing masquerading as self-congratulation."
Those would be fighting words, but we don't have enough of a military left to do anything about it.
-snip-
(Excerpt) Read more at canoe.ca ...
Polar Bear. All white meat.
You forgot the worst one.... WILLIAM SHATNER! Send Kirk Home.
KAAAHHHHNNNNNN.......
Wasn't Triumph talking to some Canadian who described himself as a 'separationist', and T. advised him to separate his fat a** from donuts? :-}
Canuck 7 course dinner: six pack of Labatt Blue and a big bowl of blubber. (Fuggedaboutit, they love the attention)
Sorry. They're too lazy to go that far, and plus there's something about a border crossing that is romantic to them. Like the VonTrapp's fleeing to Switzerland.
Maybe it's like a luggage rack on top of gigantic SUV - It's where we put our baggage.
The Maritimes (New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, & Prince Edward Island) are solidly socialist as well.
They're not a real country, anyway.
The skin's all black. Don't know, or want to get close enough to find out, what's underneath.
Isn't Alberta the province that provided that great statesman, Joe Clark?
Matt Labash's article was really funny. The Bare Naked Ladies explains about the Kraft Dinners and K-cars in their song "If I Had a Million Dollars".
What's this all aboot, eh?
}:-)4
Hit the rowed, Jack...
Most amusing!
That's ancient history...
That seems to be true...the pure conservatives are mostly west of the Ottawa River: in rural parts of Ontario, the Prairies and the interior and Fraser Valley region of British Columbia...strongest in Alberta.
Anyone with a link?
How bout this ONE?
Alanis Nadine Morissette
Theres something in the water "up there".
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