Posted on 03/21/2005 1:35:43 PM PST by quidnunc
Turnabout is only fair play, I guess. Considering that official Canada routinely takes cheap shots at the United States for supposedly being a war-mongering state run by born-again Neanderthals, it was only a matter of time before someone down south decided to return the favour.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "The Great White Waste of Time," the cover story from the latest issue (dated today) of the Weekly Standard, an unabashedly American conservative publication.
In the piece, writer Matt Labash cuts right to the chase, saying he regards Canada "as most Americans do, as North America's attic, a mildewy recess that adds little value to the house, but serves as excellent dead space for stashing Nazi war criminals, drawing-room socialists and hockey goons."
Hey! There's no hockey goons here this year. They're all playing in Europe!
But wait. It gets better. Canadians are a "docile, Zamboni-driving people who subsist on seal casserole and Molson. Their hobbies include wearing flannel, obsessing over American hegemony, exporting deadly mad cow disease and even deadlier Gordon Lightfoot and Nickelback albums."
Well, so far I'm just relieved that he hasn't mentioned Celine Dion.
And for the record, Matt, I don't particularly like seal casserole, preferring instead polar bear steaks done on the barbecue during that one day in July when there's no snow on the ground.
-snip-
"In a sense," writes Labash, "Canada is the perfect place for American quitters, as it evidences self-loathing masquerading as self-congratulation."
Those would be fighting words, but we don't have enough of a military left to do anything about it.
-snip-
(Excerpt) Read more at canoe.ca ...
The world is like one big family. The big dad is America, Mother Russia is the mother of course, China and India are the two sibling in constant rivalry, you have the pretty daughter who has a mean streak in France, you have the geeky little brother in Germany, and then you have Canada.
Canada is the cousin with Down's Syndrome everyone in the family loves and cares for. He's always got a smile on his face like a kid with Down's Syndrome, he's quite naive, is timid, insecure, and quite "slow", but in all harmless as long as you don't actually give him any real responsibility.
In the Special Olympics of life Canada is #1!
Just ask our Toronto/Montreal/Ottawa intelligensia.
The world is like one big family. The big dad is America, Mother Russia is the mother of course, China and India are the two sibling in constant rivalry, you have the pretty daughter who has a mean streak in France, you have the geeky little brother in Germany, and then you have Canada.
Canada is the cousin with Down's Syndrome everyone in the family loves and cares for. He's always got a smile on his face like a kid with Down's Syndrome, he's quite naive, is timid, insecure, and quite "slow", but in all harmless as long as you don't actually give him any real responsibility.
In the Special Olympics of life Canada is #1!
Just ask our Toronto/Montreal/Ottawa intelligensia.
Here's a flash about Canada to all you geniuses out there: Absent Canadian ballistic steel we would be suffering many more deaths and casualties in the two war zones our GIs are at risk in. We have managed to eliminate virtually all of our steel producing capacity and rely almost entirely on Canadian production to up-armor our military vehicles.
I'm glad she's in the US.
There's a satellite photo that shows North America at night. The United States is lit up like a Christmas tree but north of the border, there is near total darkness, except for a strip of light in Southern Canada near the U.S. border. Those are all the big Canadian cities, Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver, Ottawa, Winnipeg, etc., that are essentially no more than a couple of hours from the U.S. border. Above that, virtually nothing.
Feel free to reread my post if you think your information is somehow impacting it. And just because the U.S. has been dumb enough to regulate its steel production out of existence doesn't make Canada suddenly some pro-American wonderland for selling a product Americans need. I doubt you would apply the same logic to China.
Further, I assume from your comments that you think Canada selling something to America makes it worth it for America to be defending Canada, or even makes Canada somehow immune to being called a wuss icebox. I doubt you would apply the same logic to China here, either.
that's a nice picture man.
Good Lord, Canada looks like our version of North Korea there.
what about Alaska?
There are a lot of liberals in Alberta as well. Joe Clark is/was one of them.
Alaska has some light action going on there. You can clearly see the line running from Juneau, Anchorage, Fairbanks and on up to Nome.
Huh?? What's the hard-on for Canada?
Alberta not only provided Joe Clark, but back in the 1960's they decided there would be no rats in the province. They then proceeded to eradicate every rat found there and set up buffer zones along all the borders to ensure no new rats moved in. My kind of common-sense place.
Whaddya, some sort of snowbird with yer head in a hole? Don't you know that Canada has been electing Paul Martin wanna-bes who not only work to undermine American defense efforts overseas but even decry Americans defending their country directly? Witness the we-aren't-gonna-buy-SDI crap of late.
Canada is lucky we don't just offer Alberta and some of its sane provinces statehood. They'd be chomping at the bit to get out from under Ottawa's red thumb.
Can we invade Canada and force them to take her back?
Great Photo!
I read it in hardcopy at my house last week, sorry!
Yeah, there are liberals everywhere...even in the reddest of red states...
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