Gran hits burglar with garden gnome

Ananova ^ | 4-15-2005 | Staff

[Red Badger]

A grandmother knocked out a burglar by hitting him with a garden gnome.

Jean Collop, 69, woke at 5am to find an intruder clambering on her roof.

She yelled at the man, then picked up a gnome and hurled it at him, reports The Sun.

It bounced off his head, leaving him lying dazed on the roof in Wadebridge, Cornwall.

Jean dashed to fetch her rolling pin and a camera, and then took photos of the burglar as neighbours called the police.

Officers arrived to find the man still on the roof and half a dozen locals standing guard.

Jean said: "I heard a crash and rushed out in my nightdress. I politely told him not to move and grabbed the first thing that came to hand, which was a garden gnome.

"When it hit him he lay down for a while. I got my rolling pin in case. I didn't want to break another gnome."

[Red Badger]

I wonder if she got a good price for it on travelocity?.....

[flashbunny]

If this is in england,she's going to jail!

[SmithL]

Alright Granny!

[Red Badger]

[Lorianne]

Ha! I KNEW those garden gnomes were good for something!

[maryz]

Jean said: "I heard a crash and rushed out in my nightdress. I politely told him not to move and grabbed the first thing that came to hand, which was a garden gnome.

You can tell she was brought up in a more gracious age -- she politely told him not to move before she beaned him! LOL!

[abner]

Travelocity ain't got nuthin' on FR! We had a gnome ping list for a while! Where is it?? ?

[Tax-chick]

Wow, good arm! But I'll bet she's prosecuted AND sued.

[TASMANIANRED]

The Lady has quite an arm.

[Luna]

You're right. Criminals have more rights than the victims.

[brooklyn dave]

well all the freepers are in rare form today. Look at the thread talking about the Pope speaking about "dark shadows" enveloping humanity.

[pau1f0rd]

You're right. Criminals have more rights than the victims.

He's wrong.

[lilylangtree]

Might Casey up to bat!

[BufordP]

Travel Myth #47: Gnomes do not make good weapons.

[Red Badger]

L O L ! ! ! ! . . . . . . .

[aculeus]

Jean dashed to fetch her rolling pin and a camera

Seldom do we find "dash" or "fetch" used these days and here we have both in the same sentence.

[BufordP]

Oops! I forgot to say "Bull Hoggity!"

[Red Badger]

Tell your wife to dash into the kitchen and fetch you a beer...........see how many times it gets used anymore.....

[E. Pluribus Unum]

"I didn't want to break another gnome."

At least one person on God's green earth has her priorities straight.

[Red Badger]

Yep! there's no place like Gnome.......

[Pearls Before Swine]

I've got to post this on the gnu.org.

And of course, when gnomes are outlawed...

[Red Badger]

Out of my cold dead hands..........

[Mount Athos]

How can you throw an unwieldy, non-aerodynamic garden gnome that distance with such accuracy? This woman has really good arm!!

[nw_arizona_granny]

Ping

I like this granny........LOL

[Red Badger]

Looks pretty aero-dynamic to me!.....

[Constitutions Grandchild]

It's "bull hockery". "Hocky" being an antiquated term for "sheep dip", being an antiquated term for "road apples" being an antiquated term for ... you know, I never realized just how many terms there are for "manure".

[cubreporter]

Hate thos garden gnomes but....this may change my mind. Isn't it wonderful to see people stand up for THEIR rights and property? And...isn't it wonderful to have so many friends help out too? This is a good story. A good story.

[cubreporter]

And it's time that crap stopped!!!

[Red Badger]

http://internettrash.com/users/sprkythdvl/gnome.htm

[freedumb2003]

Just remember folks - when they outlaw Garden Gnomes then only Outlaws will have Garden Gnomes .

mhk: JD?

[Eepsy]

My Nan has a quantity of gnomes in her Berkshire garden.

I agree. They need to be outlawed :D

[BufordP]

Fliff piffle! The Roaming Gnome doesn't say Bull Hockery! But it may be honkity or hoggidy. "Bull Sheep Dip" doesn't make sense. Hump Goobiddy, I say!

[Constitutions Grandchild]

I'm certain it's "hockery", but whether it is, or isn't, I think we get where he's going. Don't forget your hat! I wish they hadn't dropped that tag line. We loved it in our house.

[LizardQueen]

"When it hit him he lay down for a while. I got my rolling pin in case. I didn't want to break another gnome."

LOL, this is my favorite line of the article...

LQ

[MinuteGal]

"You are old, Mrs. Collop", the reporter said
"And your hair has become rather white
"And yet you ge-nomed this guy right on his head
"Do you think at your age this is right?"

The granny replied, "Well, I'll tell you, my son
"I feared it would injure his brain
"But then I was perfectly sure he had none
"So I nailed him without feeling much pain"

"You are old, my dear grandma, I should hardly suppose
"That your arm was as steady as ever
"Yet you landed a strike on the tip of his nose
"What makes you so strong and so clever?"

"At my age", said the granny, as she shook her grey locks
"I keep all of my limbs strong and supple
"By the use of some steroids - one shilling per box
"Allow me to sell you a couple?"

Leni

[Conspiracy Guy]

Had to go to a meeting so I'm late.

“Garden Gnome Blues”

Went out last evening,
To break in a house.
Picked a little old lady,
As meek as a mouse.

I was on the roof top,
She heard me alone.
She went outside and yelled at me,
Then hit me with a Gnome.

I got the hit in the head with a Garden Gnome Blues.
Now my story is spreadin all over the news.
Outsmarted by a granny in fuzzy shoes.
I got the hit in the head with a Garden Gnome Blues.


Blind Mumblin Conspiracy Guy 4/15/05

[Mount Athos]

that made me smile. :)

[Laura Earl]

I've been waiting for this! :)

[Bahbah]

LOL, so hard it hurts.

[Conspiracy Guy]

I had a 1.5 hour meeting.

[aculeus]

Encore!

[Tax-chick]

Yowza!

[Laura Earl]

I've had NO meetings today. The one I was expecting will take place on Monday.

[Conspiracy Guy]

Another day shot to heck

[Conspiracy Guy]

The Blues are in the story. I just get them out.

[Laura Earl]

But hey...it's almost done, then it's WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!

[Tax-chick]

It was brilliant.

[Conspiracy Guy]

What is a weekend?

[Conspiracy Guy]

Here is the whole collection so far. I'm planning an album.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1382334/posts?page=60#60 Closet Guy Blues

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1382709/posts?page=21#21 Steel Fell on me Blues

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1383654/posts?page=10#10 Head Blues

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1383304/posts?page=623#623 Last Night Blues

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1383700/posts?page=52#52 Dead Frog Blues

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1383999/posts?page=52#52 Naked Blues

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1384343/posts?page=40#40 Blog Pimp Blues

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1384490/posts?page=36#36 Yard Gnome Blues

[Laura Earl]

When we aren't working for "the man".