Posted on 04/21/2005 4:56:39 PM PDT by aculeus
An American police force is planning to sign up a monkey to reinforce its elite special operations team.
Members of the special weapons and tactics (SWAT) unit in Mesa, Arizona, believe that a capuchin monkey, dressed in a bullet-proof jacket and equipped with a two-way radio and video camera, could prove an invaluable reconnaissance tool.
The SWAT team's commander has agreed to a feasibility study into the use of a capuchin monkey. Sean Truelove, a SWAT officer who builds and operates reconnaissance robots, has applied for a £53,000 federal grant to fund the four-year monkey project. Capuchins have already been trained to be companions to quadriplegics, performing tasks such as serving food, turning off lights and brushing hair. Mr Truelove said the same training could prepare a capuchin monkey for police intelligence work.
He said the monkeys, which weigh only 3-8lb and whose puzzle-solving skills are enhanced by tiny, dexterous human-like hands, could unlock doors, search buildings and find injured people upon command.
Their size could allow them into places that officers and robots could not reach, such as attic rafters, he said. "Everybody laughs about it until they really start thinking about it. It would change the way we do business."
Mr Truelove is prepared for potential opposition from animal rights groups and insists that the capuchin would not be sent into action if "the threat level is too high". Gloves for its hands and feet would protect it from broken glass.
Just as he has never known a suspect to harm a robot, he predicted that criminals would be "too stunned" by the capuchin's appearance to hurt it.
Information appearing on telegraph.co.uk is the copyright of Telegraph Group Limited and must not be reproduced in any medium without licence.
That's a real howler....
I dunno, I think a well placed "Move along, or I'll fling poop at you!" would probably be effective in stopping teen loitering.
Based on what happened to that guy who got his butt kicked recently by a bunch of malevoloent chimps, better watch out, Lieutenant Monkey can probably kick all our butts!
Oo-oo-oo-AAC-AAC-ACC!
I Gevalia can to the topic, man.
Can we get a few of these monkeys onto the Florida Supreme Court? Then we would have a chance at somke sensible decision.
Nope, monkeys don't belong in court. There are some things even monkeys won't do. For that, we have lawyers.
Just bean a good citizen. I suppose you would be steaming if I hit you with a whole latte puns all at once so I'm trying to espress my good will before trouble really starts brewing around here....
I'm gibbon you credit for the monkey puns; the coffee is just one of the perks of the job.
I think it's important to java good attitude about the subject. I macacque-ey bastard, but I ain't going to get mad about puns.
I am too sleepy to be as punny as all y'all, but I sure do love this thread.
Don't go blessing my heart or nothin like that.
Alright, you two have put me through the grinder on the coffee puns so I'll lait off for now. If we must hang with the monkey thing (which btw, I find very primate-ive) I guess I'll tail along for now even if you are all being very Fossey.
It's always good to have a cup-ple of topics to pun on simultaneously. If Yuban one subject, it limits our fun.
Absolutely. The little ape should be able to grab 2 or 3 boxes of Munchkins while the clerk is pouring the coffee.
I'm glad you kona understand my point of view.
Boy, that was a hard one to work in. : )
But I'm glad Xenalyte is here. I weren't already married, she'd be the gorilla my dreams.
And I didn't imply you were a gorilla, Xena. Don't think me a baboon. My wife's in Texas for a funeral and I'm getting a little antsy to use the ol' man' drill. After a week without her, it's got so much vervet needs a little relief.
By the way, I hear they are running a new study of sleep problems using primates at Texas A&M, out your way. The program is being called Chimp-and-z's.
Monkeys!!!!
Even at the United Nations, the puns will turn toward coffee anon.
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