US police force to recruit capuchin monkey for 'intelligence' work

The Daily Telegraph (UK) ^ | April 21, 2005 | By Tom Leonard in New York

[speedy]

I was wondering if anybody would have the chutzpah to work in mandrill. A tip of the topper to you, my friend.

[Rennes Templar]

"LOL. Just getting the monkeys off our back. Far more fun to pun about the news than simply read about those friggin 400-lb gorillas in Congress screwing things up again."

Amen brother. That's the truth, not just something one hears
through the apevine.

[Joe 6-pack]

"Even at the United Nations, the puns will turn toward coffee anon."

I think the movement will mostly affect the arabica speaking nations but will grind to a halt before it gathers much steam.

[Victoria Delsoul]

He's really cute, and I bet smart too, LOL.

[speedy]

You've described the situation to a tea, but I guess we should leave that subject for another time.

[Joe 6-pack]

Now my interest is pekoed....and you should have guessed I would have lipton this opportunity. You're ability to tea-se is steeped in legend, and I'm suddenly infused with the desire to keep on punning!!

[Larry Lucido]

I tried to sell the Mesa PD on the cuter, less expensive and more easily trainable badger. Their predictable reply (all together now): "Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers!"

[Larry Lucido]

He's really cute, and I bet smart too, LOL.

That's exactly why I refused to work with a capuchin monkey. They show me up, and get all the attention.

[Victoria Delsoul]

LOL!

[Tarantulas]

Contact: Holly Hosac
480.644.3994 Tel

Monday, April 18, 2005

News Releases

Mesa Police Department Responds to East Valley Tribune Article and Inquiries

On Saturday, April 16, the East Valley Tribune published an article entitled “SWAT idea takes a swing at crime – E.V. officer suggests making skillful monkey part of team.” The article was based on discussions between Tribune reporter Kristina Davis and SWAT Officer Sean Truelove while Davis attended the Department’s SWAT school in March. The article stated that the Mesa Police Department is seeking approximately $100,000 in federal grant money to purchase a monkey for use in SWAT operations. In fact, this was exploratory in nature, as an inquiry was made by Officer Truelove as he conducted research into the feasibility of the idea.

While Officer Truelove explored the idea of training a capuchin monkey for special-ops intelligence, and submitted an inquiry to the U.S. Department of Defense, the idea was never approved for use in Mesa SWAT operations. Truelove sought guidance from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency regarding the cost and feasibility of the project; however, the action should not be considered an official Mesa Police Department grant request, as it was never formally presented to, or approved by the Department’s Command Staff.

“While we have always encouraged our Department members to seek creative and innovative ways to improve public safety in our community, we regret any conclusions that were reached based on Saturday’s Tribune article,” said Mesa Police Chief Dennis Donna. “The purchase of a capuchin monkey has not been considered by executive staff and I would like to be certain that any media covering this story is properly informed.”

Additional inquiries can be addressed to the Mesa Police Department’s Media Relations Office.

Link

[aculeus]

The UK paper ran with the story anyhow. LOL.