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You might be...
1 May 2005 | Ron Pickrell

Posted on 05/01/2005 7:40:31 AM PDT by pickrell

If watching Eleanor Clift on "Crossfire" can curdle your milk...an hour after you finished your cereal...you might be a Red Stater.

If the thought of Barney Franks as the "head of a Congressional probe", seems biologically plausible...you might be a Red Stater.

If you've ever awaken in nauseated horror from a dream where you were re-incarnated as a flea trapped in the bottom of Michael Moore's underwear...you might be a Red Stater.

If you believe that Hillary could finally achieve nirvana, if she would just dump Bill and marry Ellen...you might be a Red Stater.

If the most frightening thing Ted Kennedy could say to you in a bar was, "I'll drive"...you might be a Red Stater.

If seeing those purple fingers held up proudly in front of the cameras brought an involuntary smile to your face...you might be a Red Stater.

If the sight of Alex Baldwin has you reaching for your wallet to help him buy that ticket he threatened during the elections...you might be a Red Stater.

If you wouldn't mind catfishing till midnight on a sandy beach with Anne Coulter, you might be in trouble if your wife reads this... (Just Kidding).

If your life is going well enough that you can spare the time on a quiet Sunday morning to read this sort of thing...you probably are...a Red Stater.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: foxworthy; redstate
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Comment #21 Removed by Moderator

To: IronJack
If it doesn't seem foolish to put Ted Kenned in charge of the refreshments at your barbeque, you might be a blue-stater.

Putting Ted Kennedy in charge of refreshments would be a pretty good idea. He has the cash to bring the good stuff. I just wouldn't trust to handle important things like driving home or voting in the Senate.

22 posted on 05/01/2005 9:37:15 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (Blackwell for Governor 2006: hated by the 'Rats, feared by the RINOs.)
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To: pickrell

If you've ever pulled yourself up by your bootstraps--both literally and figuratively--you might be a red stater.


23 posted on 05/01/2005 9:40:49 AM PDT by hispanarepublicana (I was Lucy Ramirez when being Lucy Ramirez was't cool.)
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To: KarlInOhio
Putting Ted Kennedy in charge of refreshments would be a pretty good idea. He has the cash to bring the good stuff.

Asking Ted Kennedy to watch the bar is like asking Clyde Barrow to watch your safe.

24 posted on 05/01/2005 9:42:32 AM PDT by IronJack
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Comment #25 Removed by Moderator

To: pickrell
If you think Ithaca is the City of Evil, you might be a red stater.
26 posted on 05/01/2005 10:24:19 AM PDT by Behind Liberal Lines
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To: hispanarepublicana
"..If you've ever pulled yourself up by your bootstraps--both literally and figuratively--you might be a red stater...

My lines were silly stuff... yours is the stuff party platforms are made of. Good post!

27 posted on 05/01/2005 4:15:36 PM PDT by pickrell (Old dog, new trick...sort of)
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To: pickrell

Red County trapped in a Blue State.


28 posted on 05/02/2005 7:47:42 AM PDT by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)
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To: pickrell

I live in a red state (Ohio) but have two RINO senators. How bad is that?


29 posted on 05/02/2005 8:05:31 AM PDT by Polyxene (For where God built a church, there the Devil would also build a chapel - Martin Luther)
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To: Polyxene
"...I live in a red state (Ohio) but have two RINO senators. How bad is that?..."

Try Columbus, Ohio! We're a Blue City inside a Red-State! I'd move, but I am so entraced by our Mayor. You just never know what he's going to do next! It's like watching a mobius train-wreck...

30 posted on 05/02/2005 12:24:09 PM PDT by pickrell (Old dog, new trick...sort of)
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