Posted on 08/30/2005 6:40:43 AM PDT by StuLongIsland
HAMILTON, N.Y. -- They're called "helicopter parents," for their habit of hovering _ hyper-involved _ over their children's lives. Here at Colgate University, as elsewhere, they have become increasingly bold in recent years, telephoning administrators to complain about their children's housing assignments, roommates and grades.
Recently, one parent demanded to know what Colgate planned to do about the sub-par plumbing her daughter encountered on a study-abroad trip to China.
"That's just part of how this generation has been raised," said Mark Thompson, head of Colgate's counseling services. "You add a $40,000 price tag for a school like Colgate, and you have high expectations for what you get."
For years, officials here responded to such calls by biting their lips and making an effort to keep parents happy.
But at freshman orientation here last week, parents heard a different message: Colgate is making educating students a higher priority than customer service. The liberal arts college of 2,750 students has concluded helicopter parenting has gotten out of hand, undermining the out-of-the-classroom lessons on problem-solving, seeking help and compromise that should be part of a college education.
Those lessons can't be learned if the response to every difficulty is a call to mom and dad for help.
(Excerpt) Read more at newsday.com ...
I'm all for parents caring about their kids, making sure the kids study, and making sure the institution is doing their job...but that woman is a bona fide idiot.
Education is one thing, faulty plumbing in China is another, these parents need to back off and let their children learn how to handle their own affairs, mommy and daddy can't constantly fight their childrens battles, will mommy and daddy fight their childrens battles in the work place? I can see it now, mommy calling work to take on a battle her 35 year old daughter should be handling. This generation is a bunch of wimps.
Believe me!! They want the parents to provide the $$ for their dubious services and not be involved!! It isn't going to happen, nor should it. As a parent of a Freshman in the Midwest, I'll tell you -- I will cut the feeding-tube any time I want to. And meanwhile, I will be an interfering, nosey parent. They are providing a service to US, and we are keeping their sorry hind-ends afloat.
Figures - a college problem, a huge cost issue, and a 4th grade liberal answer by the administration.
Here at the University of Oklahoma where I have a son in graduate school that is teaching English Comp I and II along with a daughter in the Journalism College, we have a Parent Club for the parents with students at the University. I am also President of my daughter's AOII sorority Parent Club.
Parents are encouraged to take an interest in their student here although parents are requested not to talk to professors directly. I agree with that policy and don't think parents should be involved with the professor as there are other channels that can be followed.
When you are paying for your child's education, you don't want to send in money blindly. We had a case where there were problems with a summer course in another country, and I know some parents that complained. It took awhile but finally the program was cancelled due to legitimate complaints.
Universities would be smart to reach out to parents instead of complaining IMHO because they ultimately answer to us who pay the bills whether they like it or not.
I was sitting thinking that my parents don't feel the need to call all the time, etc.
Then I remembered that they never went to college so while they can provide moral support their knowledge of the 'inner workings' is nonexistant. Therefore, its up to me to decide how to handle business.
It seems that with all the boomers who went to college they are trying to help their kids with any roadbloacks....but they don't need to help with every roadblock.
I just got the first invoice from my daughter's first semester at college. I called the office for information on some vauge fees that were added to the invoice.
I'm a bookkeeper, and these type of questions about billing are routine in any business, but the lady at the college was shocked that anyone would even ask ! She didn't know the answers, either, then declared in a huff, "I don't know, I just work here".
I just laughed and said, "Well whom else should I ask but someone who works there?"
Can you say "Baby Boomer"? I knew you could!
I agree the plumbing issue in China is dumb, thats going over board, but not the main issue that I was thinking about when posted this article. It is the huge sums of money.
Yet, can understand parents who have been to college being concerned, they been there and done that. They know what is going on or perhaps to expect. Parents who haven't been to college, don't know what to really expect and some of the "stupidity" involved in dealing with some issues there.
Liberals want your money, tell you how to live and after taking your money, expect you to shut the heck up, you are too dumb to tell them what to do with your money.
Of course I can say Baby Boomer! We were brought up differently, we were not coddled, smothered or fawned over! Our parents loved us and they taught us to be self sufficient, they guided us but they did not fight all our battles.
I pity these kids when they get into the "real" world, they will be totally disfunctional and keep in mind mommy and daddy won't be around forever, then what will little Johnny and Mary do?
Folks, read the story. Parents are NOT checking in on what the kids are learning or whether the professors are cramming their heads full of liberal mush. If that's what they feared, there are conservative schools they can send them to.
They're calling to see why somebody at the college isn't waking Junior up in time for class; why Junior didn't get a nicer roommate or a dorm with fewer people sharing the bathroom; or why the school doesn't have a 5-star chef preparing all the meals. They call to complain because Junior, who missed half his classses, didn't get straight A's or because Junior didn't get the classes he wanted after he registered three days late. They raise heck when a professor won't give Junior an extension for an assignment or let him retake a test he didn't bother to study for. And they call the dean of students or elsewhere to get school information for Junior instead of insisting Junior call for it himself.
I work at a university. All of the above examples are real. Folks of ALL ideologies have coddled their kids (this is without question the most coddled and protected generation of kids ever) and they believe that paying tuition buys them whatever they demand.
That's exactly what I'm getting at. Loving your kids is one thing, but making unable to be self-sufficient is another.
Kids who are smothered like that tend to never leave home, or they rebel.
But parents need to be involved because colleges use their access to kids to brainwash them. My daughter took a required course last year that always features Peter Singer. She's smart enough to see what they're trying to do, but then she lives at home and discusses these things over dinner. Kids who live at college need parental input. Desparately. But there has to be a balance and they need the right KIND of input. It would be interesting if the parent who was interested about plumbing is as interested in the character her child exhibits at school.
College students are at least 18 years old. Parents need to learn theit 'babies' are adults and must learn to live on their own. If there is a problem with a college, or any other institution, it is up to the student to accept responsibility. If the parents are paying top dollar for their kids to go to school, the parents must remember that it is their kids who are the adult customers and are in a business relationship with the college, not the parents. The parents can and should keep on top of what their kids do, but they need to realize that their kids are legally adults now. They can help their kids out, but the kids need to be helping themselves, too. If they are not happy with one school, they can enroll in another. It's not like public school where the local government tells you where to attend.
Very sad that parents want to insulate their children from the very hardship that helped these parents grow into successful adults.
That is a lie.
They only only want your money.
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