Kerry Demands Silver Star for Piloting Swift Boat Through New Orleans

chronwatch.com ^ | 9/13/05 | Jeremy Robb

[bitt]

'WASHINGTON, DC --- John Kerry contacted the Pentagon today to request a Silver Star for a recent swift boat mission he ran through the streets of New Orleans. While the Pentagon claims the mission was unauthorized, Kerry claims it was a secret mission approved by the highest levels of the government.

"I clearly remember listening to the radio and hearing President Bush deny that swift boats were in New Orleans," said Kerry. "And there I was on a swift boat in New Orleans. Dodging bullets. Scanning the shore for enemy fire and mortar attack. The band aid on my hand covers a wound I received while moving too quickly on deck for a photo op and scraping against the railing."

Sean Penn tried to join Kerry on his own swift boat, but it sank before leaving dock. Penn forgot to put the plug in the bottom of the boat and refused to stuff his Communist flag in the hole to prevent flooding.'

[AliVeritas]

ROFL

[pcottraux]

You're kidding, right?

[bitt]

check out the other stories by this guy, here:

http://jerhad.typepad.com/jerhad/

I like this one:

"Cindy Sheehan Moves to New Orleans to Get Attention Back on Her"

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana --- Cindy Sheehan announced plans to move to New Orleans in order to make the media pay attention to her again. The protester admitted that she is going through withdrawals and depression since the media stopped listening to her and focused on Hurricane Katrina.

"My story is important," said Cindy. "More important than a few dead people killed by Bush's global warming-induced hurricane. Bush has killed millions of people in Iraq, and the media needs to start listening to me again. Maybe now that I'm in New Orleans I'll get the attention I deserve again."

Cindy is currently on a waiting list to move to New Orleans now that other forgotten politicians and celebrities are rushing to the city for more press coverage. Al Gore and Sean Penn expressed support for Cindy but were concerned she would derail their attempt to get noticed again while they are in New Orleans.

[Fenris6]

The sad thing is that, these days, we have to double-check to distinguish parody from reality regarding Democrats...

[Theresawithanh]

Very funny, BOTH of 'em!!

[pcottraux]

That's the subject of my latest FReeptoon, coming Wed. at 4.

Pardon the shameless advertising.

[FreedomNeocon]

And a purple heart for shooting himslef in the arse with a grain of rice?

[pcottraux]

"More important than a few dead people killed by Bush's global warming-induced hurricane. Bush has killed millions of people in Iraq, and the media needs to start listening to me again. Maybe now that I'm in New Orleans I'll get the attention I deserve again."

Almost doesn't sound like a parody.

[bitt]

will you ping me with it?

[glorgau]

It was seared - seared into his memory!

[Delta 21]

ping-a-ling

[pcottraux]

Sure.

[hoboken109]

Sad part is ..none of this would surprise me if it all was true..I've seen and heard worse from the left..
BTW.US News had an article on how it's an OBVIOUS FACT thatGlobal Warming started the hurricane ( with huge doses of Bush Bashing included )

[F14-VietVet]

Hey!
Great to see angel tits from Vacaville CA is back in the news!

Are there levees near Vacaville? She is a refugee!

[Bush gal in LA]

Aw, No fair, you said it before I did!

[Hushpuppie]

Ping

[pcottraux]

Here was the last one. We'll find out what happens next:

[television is just wrong]

Cool, maybe I ought to try my hand at that cartoon stuff. Took 4 years of art school. Thanks for the idea.